connected-ness

I took my previous post down, well because when i wrote it, I was sad,then I put it back up as I was denying my shadow side.... and it is time to face her! and although still sad... I am also happy.. not sure if that makes sense... but my sadness is not an all the time sadness and it is not depression .... most times, I laugh and chatter but sometimes.. like a flash, this soul sadness, this yearning comes to visit and I feel disconnected.
st night, I went for a walk to Echo Point in Katoomba.. the mist was rolling in and it was quite cold. and as the mist rolled in, I felt connected. I felt connected to Earth. And looking deep into the valley where it is green and dark, and the mist was swirling around, parting then covering again...... it reminded me of somewhere that I know in my soul, I heard voices from long ago - not with my ears but inside somewhere .... This place, Katoomba, is a power spot for me..
While I was standing there at Echo Point, looking out at the mist.. I noticed a woman about my age.. sitting, looking quite sad, lost and lonely and realized that she was just like me.... lost and searching, with a sadness she had but she didn't know why ... and I felt not quite so alone. So many of us seem to searching right now. I felt like hugging her but I didn't.. so I just looked into her eyes and smiled.. and she smiled back.




This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

feeling fragile and struggling

i am writing this post not to complain about my life but to put down how I am feeling right now... lets see - the moon is in her waning phase so that may be one of the reasons I am feeling so emotionally fragile... the past few months, actually since my mum had her heart operation, I have not been well and over summer, I have had allergies like never before and I have tried everything without success.. and it is getting me down. I have friends who drink a bottle of wine a night and smoke cigarettes like they are going out of fashion and they are as healthy as an ox. Me - I eat well, drink the required amount of water, meditate, do yoga, walk - well you get what I am saying.. and I am sick. Not sick to the point of having to be in bed but a general not feeling well and these allergies.. are getting me down. Topped with the feeling of aloneness that I have - and damn it.. I am just sick and tired of it all.
Spiritually I feel alone, oh yes, I can call in the goddess, I can sit with the divine, I can meditate and hope that Daisy will come into my vision or that Laura may give me some words of advice... but truthfully, it is not real.. they are not there in the flesh... I can read books and pull cards and even though they make alot of sense at the time.. they just don't stay with me. I can pretend that I play with the faeries.. but are they really there? do all these things really exist? I feel sceptical .. I try, try, try to believe and sometimes I convince myself that I do .. but I need to see proof... angels, God/Goddess, faeries, spirits... no proof at all.. imaginings yes, but no proof. doubting Thomas? yes. Maybe this is it. Maybe this life is all there is.. maybe past lives are an imagining. who knows... gee, I sound like a real case now!

I have Joe, I know and I am blessed with that.. I have my children, yes... but I still feel lonely. Get in touch with my inner self? hmm yes, I guess but what will that do.. I can walk by myself in the bush or garden by myself... but all that still does not take away the soul lonliness. my inner self is really me anyhow.
I can go see counsellors, yes.. I have but they just don't get it, they don't get what I am saying, what I am wanting. I am a strong person, I know that there must be an answer somewhere for me. I am sick of reading that the world is going through a huge change right now.. the vibrations are accelerating.... or that we are all one (if we are all one.. why can't I tap into someone else's soul peace?).. maybe 'they' are right... but how come I am not having any wonderful spiritual awakenings? Why is it such a struggle for me? why can't I just not worry about it, like my friend Marion.. who believes in nothing at all. I am sick of reading Louise Hay and trying to work out why I have allergies.. when really they are from the grass that is blooming prolifically everywhere here right now. I am sick of trying to find a natural therapist who won't insist on putting me on a wheat free diet.. I just want to break out and take chemicals for once !!! But my strong self won't let me.

so what to do? ~ truthfully... I don't know. I just want to sit and cry. I want someone to understand exactly what I am trying to say. I want to stop sneezing. I want to stop worrying about genetically modified foods and what they mean.. I want to stop worrying about eating organically when it is so expensive for the everyday person, I want to stop worrying about whether I am asking the universe for things in the right way - I want to stop worrying about which affirmations to say today. I want to stop searching for my truth, for my past. I want to be able to live in the moment, in this life.. and be at peace.
I want a best friend. One who is just for me. One who I can lean on, one who won't get sick of my questions... I know that no-one can do my journey for me, nor does anyone have all the answers but I am sick of this soul searching, this soul aloneness... maybe I could advertise - 'wanted: one soul friend' - ha!
so in saying all of this.... I am really and truly taking a break. I am not sure for how long. I hope to come back refreshed and full of joy. I hope to come back and say - hey guys, my allergies are gone...
I am going to continue journalling in my private blog cause it really does help me to get my head sorted ....so bye for a little while.. I will continue to visit and comment - cya when I am sorted!!

**** oh lord, re-reading this post, I have just realized that according to "The Secret' - by posting all these feelings, I will most probably attract more of the same... unless of course, the Secret is yet another hoax, another ploy by someone to make more money out of people like me who search for answers.... I don't think anyone has all the answers.. or maybe no one has any answers !!

my sacred life... i am blessed.

what could be more sacred than life itself? In 7 weeks, my gorgeous daughter Louisa is due to give birth to her first baby - a little boy and his name is Harry. Sometimes I wonder if it is a good thing to know all the particulars before a new babe is born but this little soul is special... well, even more special than any other little soul because he was conceived around the time Daisy passed over... this is her fat tummy that we talk to quite often... he has a nickname already - High pants Harry... not sure of his middle name yet.. but we have to have some surprises!!

Yesterday, I had a wonderful day in the garden.. I weeded my lavender patch and my chooks enjoyed the escargot that I fed them constantly while I weeded.. the escargot were served 'au natural' with a side serving of garden greens! all day my girls, clucked and scratched happily, enjoying the gourmet luncheon that was served and have rewarded me with fresh eggs!

this is where my girls live...

I spread 3 bales of straw, pruned the feverfew, found parsley I didn't know I had and I noticed new growth on my Rowan tree! This is where my lavender thrives.. it gets pretty much full sun all day... potatoes are also growing and I have more potatoes than I knew I had planted!


Today, I am picking a bunch of lavender and taking some over to Louisa, as well as some fresh eggs... we are having breakfast at a little open air cafe! yes, life is indeed sacred and blessed!

honesty....

.... I am doing some thinking on being honest or so open with my blogging ... I was going through some letters from Daisy (I am making an altered book with her letters and comments) and remembered this from her awhile back.....

Hi Robyn,

I have just been reading your blog. You are very refreshing in your honesty, there are very few honest people on the blogs. I have found it an Australian trait [ If you don't mind me saying so] to face up to things and tell people the truth, what we would call being 'in your face' or 'calling a spade a spade'. I love it.

I do think, please don't take this the wrong way, you frighten people with your honesty, and that is why some turn on you or disappear. I love your honesty, and always think that in blog land you are the person that will give me a straight answer.

As I said your honesty is always going to make you a target, but you must be proud of your honesty, and shrug attacks off, like a dog shaking off water after a swim.

NEVER lose your honesty it is a wonderful commodity to have in this world of ours today. Of course, it is also a commodity that will make your life difficult at times. The truth can hurt, but good comes from it in the end.
Sorry for this long ramble but I wanted to say it all after reading your blog.

Love and Hugs
Daisy xx

I always seem to put my foot in my mouth, the previous post wasn't just about me not receiving an 'award' it was about how we ALL feel when we don't receive one and what the awards are actually for and why they are limited to a number. And the good blogging friend badge was created because we are all friends to each other, linked in a way... as one is a friend to another.. that friendship is passed on to someone else and so it goes, a continuing circle of friendship.. and I think we all deserve an 'award' for that.

after the kerfuffle of the previous post, I was going to make my blog private but reading the letter above from Daisy.. well, it made me realize that sometimes saying what I am thinking may cause me grief but I need to draw a heart around that situation (as advised on Sr. Kathryn's blog- what would love do?) and move on..... so today, I am taking a little break and concentrating on setting up my private Wisdom blog... it needs some work doing on it to get it started in February (I must say it is looking good so far!).... I have been gardening today but will be back soon with things to share.. maybe even for Sacred Life Sunday tomorrow!

and the winner is...bloscars - those awards in blog world & an award for YOU !

just the past few weeks, I have been awarded two blogging awards and I am very touched and grateful... I really am....
however, I must admit I have a thing about these blogging awards and in saying what I am about to say, I hope I don't sound ungrateful to those who have given me awards in the past. Because I am touched when someone thinks so much of me or my blog that they choose me.

as well as receiving awards, I have also missed out on some... and some of those I missed out on were on blogs who I thought I was a very good friend... and it hurt and I felt sad. I felt like a child that had missed out on an award on presentation night. I didn't feel at all like a '50 year old mature woman'. I felt leftout and I felt silly and petty and childish for feeling this way. I told myself to get over it. I told myself, just like my mother did many years ago, that not everyone can win an award, but that didn't help either.

I know these awards eventually get around to everyone.. so does it really matter when we get them? .... to go visiting blogs and seeing the 'award' title, scrolling down and seeing your own name isn't there, not a fun feeling at all. OR am I the only one who feels like this when they 'miss out' ?
and then once you actually do receive an award, you have to 'choose' so many others to give it to... and of course leave others out.... so how to choose 7 or 3 or 5 ??

when I receive awards I am always touched but then I always think of those like me.. who had missed out and how they felt... do they feel the same as I do when I miss out? ....... so I sat and pondered why I felt this way and tried to look at it from a different perspective... but I couldn't. So I did something creative ......
I thought that each of us is a good blogging friend to many and many are good blogging friends to many others.. so I deciced to create an award for every one who visits here.. to take and pass on to every single blogging friend who visits their blog and keep it going... the 'I am a good blogging friend award '

so take it with love, share it with love and if you wish.. link to this post so that others may see what it is all about. xoox

so, just who is miss*R and where is she from?

our weather here in Woodford has been decidedly odd ... summer comes for a day.. high heat and humidity and then the storm clouds roll in, thunder rumbles, lightning streaks across the sky and down comes the rain. and it rains and rains and rains. The temperatures drop and we get snuggled into our winter jumpers, sometimes even lighting the fire, until the next day that summer decides to show her face. I love storms. I love to be able to sit in my big pink chair that wraps its arms around me and look out at the stormy weather as the rain lashes the trees. But how I am missing my garden this summer. I have bales of lucerne that need to be put on the garden to keep this moisture in, the feverfew needs cutting back, my lemon tree looks sad and sorry for itself, needing a good fertilizing and my roses are needing their summer haircut, along with my lavender garden being totally out of control. yes, this summer has been very, very odd..

Sunday was one such day, when the sun decided to poke her hot little face out... so I put my new work boots on and started to weed and hoe. Clearing around all my vegies.... finding potatoes that were ready to be dug! Beans that I had forgotten about and picking up fallen apples, thankfully rescuing a few to make myself some stewed apples.

Joe and I had lunch on our deck and then decided to rearrange the furniture, so that my moon bathing lounge is now tucked delightfully under a tree, with swirly things hanging above me, twinkling in the moonlight.... well that is if the moon ever shows her face... she has been hidden deep under cloud cover for many, many nights! Hopefully tonight, nearly the Full Moon (exactly at at 12.35am tomorrow morning) I will be able to go out and say hello.
I am slowly getting back to real life after my time away and today I am giving Sophies room a thorough vacuuming and dusting.. she is 18 and I guess she should do it herself, but she doesn't... so for my own peace of mind, I do it once a fortnight...
I have my grandson Thomas today and we are going out for lunch and then for a browse in my favourite hippy shop in Springwood. Yesterday, I tidied a corner on my front verandah where I can do some early morning yoga without getting wet, but still having fresh air to breathe...and I am wanting to buy some bells and bits to hang and this hippy shop has a wonderful selection !

I have been having weird and wonderful dreams the past week.. and I am wondering why. You see, I haven't really had a dream that I have remembered in ages... a few weeks ago, Lee from Solsticedreamer sent me a piece of flint from Cornwall and it has been beside my bed since I got it. And since it has been there, my dreams have been very vivid, sometimes to the point of being predictive.
I am from Windsor, a Macquarie town, settled on the banks of what once was, the mighty Hawkesbury River. From billy tea, vegemite and corn on the cob, buttered and salted and from chooks in the backyard.

I am from the 1950's fibro, pastel pink and green, cold in winter, hot in summer. I am from sprinklers on the front lawn, cooling down on a hot day, ice blocks and home-made lemon cordial.

I am from lemon scented gum trees, roses sprayed for blackspot, the berry tree where adventures unfolded, the gardenia that bloomed in summer and the backyard vegetable patch. From the aganpanthus and Christmas bush and carnations, frangipani and flowering red-gum.. all blooming together in a jumbled mix.

I am from sunday roasts around the cedar table and thin straight hair. From the Nobles and the Ingalls, the wilds of Wallabadah, settlers and sheep. From the shores of Devon, the Truscotts and the Tregilgas family clan. From Percival Arthur, Laura Tregilgas and Elizabeth Curnow, from good Cornish stock. I am from Avalon. I am from the Isle of Mona, Druids and the Celts.

I am from putting the kettle on and a stiff upper lip. From brown-paper parcels tied up in string and paper bags kept in a box under the sink.

From keeping my head out of the clouds and feet on the ground and travelling the world in a book. From mountain devils, gumnuts and flannel flowers

I am from hell, fire & brimstone. finding my own path, forever searching for my own truth, getting lost and finding my way.

I'm from the great southern land, a sunburnt country. I am from Australia but my soul yearns for Cornwall. I'm from buttered, iced finger buns, poached eggs and lamb chops. From Cornish pasties, Worcestershire sauce and a good cup of tea

From the hard workers and simple folk, from tinners and sailors. from kindness and helping others. I am from and of the Divine.

so there you go..... I decided to do a Daisy type post today... with art from artists that I like and bits about my everyday life, I loved reading her blog and I still do read it from time to time... it kind of brings her close to me.. and I need it today. The Moon in Leo today, waxing and coming to the Full Moon tomorrow..... today, a day for healing and heart to heart communication, a day to eat light and simple meals and to keep up the fluids...

! birthday candles ! for sacred sunday

I joined sacred sunday a little while ago but haven't been regularly finding anything sacred for Sunday...... I really do try to find the sacredness in my life but sometimes I get distracted with being busy... I am going to try to slow down more and find sacredness in my life - just this past week I have been seeing little things that remind me of the sacred sunday commitment and I thought what could be better than some birthday candles for this week, seeing as it is my birthday month...


these candles above, are ones that I have used on my childrens birthday cakes.... the little bear is Sophie's from her first birthday and the pink one that is peeking out on the left is from Louisa's birthday..(she is having her first baby in March!)... I have kept these, because... well, I don't know why... a time of innocence, a time of pure love... they live in my vintage dresser among other treasures and each time I look at them, it immediately whisks me back to the smell of their new born skin and the cuddles and laughter that we had when they were little... time goes on, my girls grow into women and relationships change... but the love is there always.

I will always love my girls... sometimes, I may not like them very much but the love is always there... ya gotta have a daughter to understand !

the sea-shore holiday... a story with pictures

I thought it must be about time to get my photos from my seaside break, onto my blog.. so here they are. Not much happening here in Woodford - the weather is very odd as it is everywhere right now.. it seems that Mother Earth is detoxing, like our bodies do when they are on toxic overload... the only way She can do it is by using the weather to show that she is not well. Hayfever abounds here in my world right now and I am doing my very, very best not to grab the Telfast.. so I am off to a homeopath today to get a remedy. The garden is wild and I am still itching to get my hands into the soil... but patience, I am told is a virtue so I will be patient...everything comes to those who wait.... so patiently I wait and my time in the garden will come, when the days get cooler, when autumn is on her way.
the first photo is what greeted me on my very first morning - I woke early and stepped onto the balcony to do my morning breathing and affirmations - to greet the Goddess. Right at that moment, I truy knew I was blessed.......

and as I stood allowing the love in... the Sun rose to show me a brilliant day was on the way...

below is a view looking north ...across the water is a caravan park, right on the waters edge.... these are all holiday vans, owned by people for many, many years...

the carousel above is actually an icon... it has been in the same spot since the 1930's! marvellous.. and a few pictures of the beach....

every morning I went for a long walk along the beach... and loved it. I stood and meditated every morning while the water rushed over my feet... one morning, while I was standing there I 'heard' a voice telling me that it was a good thing if i could visit the sea at least once a month, so that my soul could absorb the energy.. so I made a decision then and there to make an effort to take time away at the beach each month...

and here I am on the beach.... looking quite angry, I must say... but the sun was shining in my eyes and the love of my life is not very camera savvy, so these photos took quite awhile to take! ahh well.. he is wonderful at other things.... like loving and cherishing me..so who cares if he can't use a camera!

above, I am standing on rock... the tide was coming in and I loved to stand while the water splashed over my feet.. when the tide was out, there were lots of little worlds in the rock pools... I could sit and watch them forever! what is it that is so healing about the sea? and below, the tide is out... and you can see the rock that I am standing on... I look a little happier in this photo but the sun was still shining in my eyes... I guess that is because we went on our walks together in the afternoon when the sun was west of us...

so there you go... my adventure at the seashore! I thought I was going to turn into a mermaid...

a private letter from Daisy... I want to share

as you all know I have become more settled since I turned 50.. funny really, it is as if someone has waved a magick wand and I have changed kind of.... some comments in my previous post jigged a memory of a letter that Daisy sent me last year and I felt that I wanted to share with you all......

Hi Dear Robyn,

I have been worrying about you a lot over the weekend, and decided to let you be, but if I hadn't heard by midnight tonight [Tuesday] I would get in touch and bombard you with emails!!!

Do you want my opinion, truthfully, at the moment you are like a new born baby, helpless, naked, not even sure where nourishment comes from. From this you will grow over the weeks and months to come into a more settled person, perhaps, you will be slightly different, maybe more reflective, slightly quieter, not depressed.

You have been on one hell of a life roller coaster and have reached the end of this ride, for two reasons. First you have found your ancestors, that is so grounding, everyone needs to know some links of their distint chain, I faithfully believe that. You know the sort of stock and type of people they were, wonderful salt of the earth types. You will now be aware of them in your mind and in your life helping you in a genetic memory kind of way. The second reason is your age, you can now grow into a Goddess. This is what happened to me. Menopause, wasn't as bad as some people say except for my moods, raging tempers, and anxieties. Physical problems were low but emotional ones vast. I never took HRT or anything but just did it all naturally.

Over the past year, everything has started to feel different, and I am beginning to love it, I have a large capacity for wanting to learn all sorts of mysterious things, I am much more in tune with psychic phenomena, also very small things content me, my garden, just sitting listening to birds. WELCOME TO THE CLUB. I have never talked about it because the other person has to achieve it themselves, it happens in its own time and won' t be hurried.

From now on you can learn everything again from you Goddess perspective. Just relax and enjoy. Love and Hugs *daisy* xx

This is exactly what has happened to me... I am feeling different, content and I am loving it.....she was so wise and her letters really did help me alot, they still do and I was blessed to have her in my life for even such a short time... but you know.... at last..I have come to realize that I am still being blessed every day by the friendships that I have now... I am blessed by living a fortunate life ... and I am blessed for being ME.

the search and the struggle

you know, over the past few years, it has been a struggle for me.. this searching. But today, at this moment in time, I feel comfortable in my own skin.... I know that my search will continue but I feel deep in my soul that it won't be as frantic... I seem to be more accepting of 'things' and don't have that need to be liked and accepted by every single person that I come across. The need to belong is going... tomorrow, who knows but right now, I am in a good place. 'at last' - I can hear you all sigh!

I have changed my banner (yet again) to something that really resonates with me right now... the photo is one from my birthday and I chose it because Ruth emailed me and said : "I really love the photo of you with your faery wings on. I haven't seen such a close-up photo of you before and I felt quite strangely tearful when I looked into your eyes - I'm sure that I know you, and have done for a very long time!. I just kind of recognised you - and teary in the way that one feels when a piece of music is deeply stirring in some unknown way."

Are they eyes the doorway to the soul? It is amazing how this world wide web that we are weaving is actually connecting us all to souls from past lives. It is like it has all been planned with a bigger picture in mind.. well, of course it has! what an exciting journey we are all on and I feel blessed that each of you have come into my life .

at the moment I am trying Ayurvedic lifestyle 'rituals'... being a definite vatta body-type, I really thrive on routine so this is working for me right now. And I have a few books going... one is by Denise Linn - Secrets and Mysteries, the glory and pleasure of being a woman and the other is by Pythia Peay - Soul Sisters... oh and for lighter reading - Jane Eyre, which believe it or not, I have never read in my life. I tell you, I am a late bloomer! It seems I am living my life backwards... I swear, I am getting younger every day!

I haven't been in my garden in a long time.. it is either raining or too darn hot to venture outside and I am desperate to get my hands into the soil.. and also to go on my bush-walks once more...

party photos....the party continues... butterflies visit too!

my 50th birthday cake...made up from teeny tiny little cupcakes from Cupid's Cupcakes in Katoomba. These cakes are simply delicious and I have been known to eat more than one! My favourite flavour is passionfruit. I kept one cake for the faeries,on the altar under the pine tree.

a few days ago, while I was wandering in my garden.. two butterflies fluttered towards me, doing their summer dance.. gorgeous colours.. they were beautiful and so graceful... they fluttered about my body, like they were weaving a cocoon around my aura and then one landed right on the tip of my nose.. only for a minute second.. but it happened! yes, it was real. sometimes, I have got to keep telling myself that, because Miss Doubt visits me often.

this is me holding my cakes while wearing my wings.... the plate cake that the little cakes are on was my Nan's and I treasure it. I bring it out for all the special occassions.

Yesterday, Joe took me to Sydney, to my favourite book shop - The Adyar.. where I spent about two hours browsing.. it was delightful. I bought a couple of CD's - including Loreena McKennits - The Ancient Muse. Then he took me to Chinatown for lunch and then we spent about an hour in a chinese supermarket. I bought myself a new tea pot, some Oolong tea and some Quan Yin tea.

here I am blowing the candles out on my second cake! We went out to dinner on the night to my favourite restaurant - The Bonton in Leura.. the meals are to die for...

This morning, I am off to a 'surprise' birthday morning tea with some friends up the road... Marion, Eric, Bill and Avis are friends of mine and they have decided to hold a little morning tea to celebrate my 50th birthday... I must take some photos of their garden. It is glorious.

this 50th birthday party of mine seems to be ongoing... i am a lucky girl for sure!

the party is continuing in faeryland too... I hope those of you who joined in are having fun! It is sure fun creating the magick !

the ancestors & some thoughts while I walked along the shore

Viola, my great-grandmother, sitting on the beach. Notice that she is dressed in her normal day to day clothes.. handbag and most probably stockings. Love the hat! Viola was born in Australia, in a little town called Morpeth in New South Wales. She is my link to Scotland about 5 generations back.

while I was walking along the sea shore each day, I thought. alot. And I connected with the Mother Earth or was it the Goddess of the Sea? I felt calm and at peace and at one with all. The first morning I stood facing out to sea and I closed my eyes and I connected with my ancestors.. I felt Laura with me as well as Viola, my maternal great-grandma. I actually got quite emotional and tears rolled down my cheek.. it was so healing! I felt how much Laura was grateful that she had the opportunity to be in Australia and how the beach reminded her of Devon. It was as if Laura was conveying her feelings to me.. as if she was really reaching out to me...

I also felt very blessed and grateful that I live within 2 hours of the beach, 1 hour from the city of Sydney and that I live in the mountains, where the air is fresh and clean and that I can always find somewhere in the mountains to be by myself.

a perfect life.

how swimsuit fashions have changed! this photo is one of my dear Nana - Jean Ingall Franks and myself when I was about 4 or 5. It was taken in her lounge room.... she hardly ever went to the beach as she was blind but when I visited, we use to run under the sprinkler to keep cool.

while I was at the beach, I had such fun collecting shells, just like I did when I was a little girl... fish and chips with lots of salt tastes so much better when you eat them on the beach... sea-weed is always mermaid hair and my all time favourite: an ice-cream cone... melting and dripping down your arm while you frantically try to lick it before it all melts away.... I was having fun with my inner child!

well, here I am home but oh, I do like to be beside the seaside!

I had a wonderful time away by the sea-side.... every morning I would wake up and quietly slip outside to walk along the beach by my SELF.. I left Joe asleep and walked up the hill along the boardwalk, absorbing the energy of the ocean and then I would take my shoes off and walk along the beach. Sometimes stopping to collect shells, sometimes running from the waves that were crashing in onto the sand, sometimes allowing the seaweed to wrap around my feet. Shivering with delight at the cold water on my warm feet. I was a child again, yet I was the wise woman that I have become. I was content and happy. I found some treasures for my mermaid faery friends and discovered a wonderful shop called the Gnostic Forrest.

I have so much to share... my thoughts and reflections as I walked on the seashore, photos of my time away & yes, photos of my faery birthday... but I will post them all over the next few days...

today is the new moon... a new moon in Capricorn - a good time to smudge yourself and your home and a good time to let go of outdated habits.. a good time to cultivate patience in your soul (lord, what a difficult lesson for me!). I hope you are all feeling wonderful... I know I am - I feel blessed right now.. take time today to nurture your soul.

the little blackbird and off on an adventure . .

Thankyou every one for the emails, cards and wishes for my 50th!
yesterday was a wonderful day! My children and grandchildren came for lunch and I wore my wings the whole time! Daisy was there I am sure as when we sat down to lunch, the little blackbird flew into the japanese maple that overhangs my deck and he chirped and twittered, letting us know he was there. When they sang happy birthday, the blackbird started singing his song, loud and clear. This was such a moving thing for me as at that moment, I truly believed that the bird was Daisy, telling me she was there with me.
Last night we went out to dinner to one of my favourite restaurants - the Bon-Ton in Leura... I will post some photos soon
Today, I am of to the sea-side until next Monday. My gorgeous soul man has booked us into a resort right on the beach on the Central Coast.. so that I can rest and recuperate and to be truthful - I cannot wait. I plan to walk on the beach, maybe do some yoga, journalling and being one with the Goddess of the Sea.
see you all when I come home!

Daisy with her wings & a special New Year Ritual for you

Yes, I am 50 now... overnight! do I feel any different? no. I thought I would wake up wise. I thought I may have woken up with the answer to my path... but no, I am still the same as yesterday.... maybe I am wise....anyhow, on with the rest of my life..... wherever it may take me.
I simply must tell you what happened this morning.. I went for an early morning walk to be with myself and as I was sitting putting my shoes on, a bird started to sing. It was such a sweet sound and the little bird sounded happy and joyful. I looked up into my ancient apple tree and there was the english blackbird... the very same one I am sure that came to me the day Daisy died. I sat and watched the bird for a few minutes and he sang his heart out... yes, Daisy was with me.. and she did have her wings on! it made me happy but kind of bittersweet... knowing that she is with me in spirit is wonderful, but oh, how I want to give her a hug in real life.
the portal to faery land is open! there are still a few email addresses that I need, so if you said you wanted to join in and haven't received the invite... please email me..

New Year's Ritual: Sweep, Smudge and blessing Jar
Sweep your main living area, entryway, or porch, to sweep out the old and allow the new to enter. Smudge around the room using a sweetgrass or sage smudging bundle and feather. Say prayers of your own choosing, in each of the four directions, east, west, north and south:
East represents "illuminocity", giving individuals the ability to see all that is around them from a spiritual perspective. West represents the inner heart and soul. North represents knowledge, wisdom and purification of the heart, mind and soul. South represents the physical self.

Say a prayer of thanksgiving, and ask your spirit guides for safety, security and direction for the coming year.
Make a blessing jar...
Into a vase, jar or bottle (which symbolizes protection) put
a small bag of soil (for abundance), a coin (for prosperity), a fabric bag of salt (for purification), a crystal (for vision), an arrowhead (for guidance), a tiny fabric bag of herbs (for grounding), a left over candle (for focus), a cross (for balance), a feather (for freedom), a clipping of hair from each family member (for unity), an old key (for opportunity), a small mirror (for truth), a piece of red paper (for memory), a small fabric bag of raw rice (for fertility), a ring (for love), a runestone (for communication), a shell (for choices), a small fabric bag of loose tea (for awareness), a small paper folded fan (for healing), a rubber band (for flexibility), a letter that contains this list and what you hope to accomplish this year, sealed inside an envelope (for happiness)
You need not have everything on this list, select what is important to you.
Seal the jar with the lid, or cover the bottle or vase with a piece of fabric and a rubberband or string. Place your blessing jar either just inside or outside your front door until next New Years Eve...
Feel free to share this, the more blessing jars, smudging and rituals performed around the world the stronger the positive energy is for all...