summer memories... it's hot (otherwise known as ya gotta laugh to cope)

the past week has been hot. sometimes over 40 degrees C... my poor friend Pam who lives in South Australia has been battling heat of 45 degrees C, every day.. that is around 120F !!! too hot for anyone. I try to remember the wise words of the elderly couple that i met while on my trip.. that this has all happened before and that it will rain but when the scare mongerers of the press keep carrying on that it is the driest since way back when... it is hard to stay positive..... i wonder about the first white Australians and how they must have felt when the ship arrived in January way back then... they must have thought they had died and gone to hell...... in the mean time, I open verandah windows trying to catch a slight breeze that might blow through Woodford... (I know air-conditioning is not at all good for the greenhouse... but geez, I am using it and I am sure my carbon foot print has doubled in the past week..)

It is times like this, when the heat is relentless that I cannot love Australia. Matter of fact, I don't love much at all. I could be a woman from the Old Testament.. there is a lot of gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands going on here at Inglewood. I sit and melt. And I water my garden. Illegally. And I don't care. I don't care if the water police come and put me in jail. The man across the road is allowed to wash his bright, new shiny car any day of the week, at any time. But gardens are only allowed to be watered 2 days a week.. and then, only a few hours at a time. Yesterday was not a watering day... but the rebel in me watered my plants. When the zucchini is wilting, the citrus are struggling and the daphne looks just about dead... well I just watered. I will not, I refuse to, let my garden die. And as I watered, in a kind of meditative state... cause that is what happens when I garden...... I remembered my childhood summers and how hot they were... but it didn't seem to phase me back then. we kinda just accepted what was.
We put on our cossies (an australian term for swimming costumes or bathers), Dad would connect the sprinkler up and we would run through it, screaming as the icy cold water touched our hot skin... and we would keep doing that til mum came out with a home-made ice block.. then sit under the berry tree, licking and sucking quickly before it melted away.

(my sister and I at the beach in 1961.. I am the little girl in blue)
Sometimes we were even lucky enough to go to the beach. That was a trek. Mum would pack up a picnic lunch.. lots of cold drinks. And of we would go in our old car. A two hour drive in the heat. But oh, how it was worth it.

We would sleep under the stars when it was hot at night. Mum would get a blanket for us, put it out on the front lawn under the eucalypt tree and we would lie there in the heat of the night, looking up at the vast Australian sky... no tent, no blanket. Not worrying about spiders or other night time insects. I wonder if there were mossies? there would have been I am sure, but they didn't worry us........
coming back to the present moment.. I continue to water...wishing I was someone else. Living somewhere else..... I read other blogs and sometimes i wish I were living that life...... does anyone else do that?

I know I am lucky with the life I have. I know it. I have food on my table. a gorgeous home. wonderful family. I am free and i am healthy..... but sometimes when I read blogs like Corey's Tongue in Cheek (tongue in cheek), I wish I were somewhere else, someone else....... oh lord, I just want to escape from this heat........

daphne ~ in a vintage garden

I know that i have mentioned daphne before... but I could not ignore posting about it again.. bringing back more memories of my fragrant childhood garden memories...
I can't remember either of my grandma's having this plant growing in their own gardens (although I am sure they did), but I do remember the plant growing at Auntie Elsies place.. she was my Nan's sister and lived in an old federation house in a suburb of Sydney. She was 'proper'... when we went to visit her, we had to be on our best behaviour and wore our good clothes. We weren't allowed to run amok in the garden but had to behave like ladies.

We were given lemon cordial served in a glass jug with matching glasses. Lunch was always in the 'formal' dining room, never on the scrubbed pine table in the kitchen. The table was set with various knives and forks and the cucumber was peeled and scraped with a fork, putting ridges in the slices... onion was served in vinegar and sprinkled with sugar... as only the rich do. Oh yes, Auntie Elsie certainly had airs and graces. I was in awe of her. Smelling very much like ladies do, of lavender and violets..
her garden was a delight.. we were allowed to wander around after lunch...I remember when we arrived at her home, the brick fence with a gate that opened onto a path that lead to the front door... a gorgeous russet and cream tesselated tile path... and my little feet would walk up that path, feeling very grand in their patented leather shoes, with white lace topped socks of course. I can remember wanting to skip up that path but the serious, perfect little capricorn in me, would not allow that... oh no.. I had to behave so that I would be a good little girl... so, I walked demurely along, trying to stop those shoes from dancing! all the time, tut-tutting at my sister who let her inner child run!
at the step grew a magnificent daphne plant that greeted you with the most delightful perfume. a perfume that after all these years, still whisks me back to my little girl memories. Auntie Elsie had a cut glass bowl that was placed in the middle of the dining room table, filled with daphne during winter and gardenias during summer.

I found this in my research on violets, it seems easy enough.. I might just make some for that dreadful dry winter skin that I seem to develop in this cold windy weather...

a simple recipe for violet salve which can be applied to the skin to help sooth it.

8 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon natural bees wax
1/2 Cup fresh violet flowers
2 drops Roman camomile 1/2 teaspoon honey

In a sauce pan or small pot, heat oil. Add flowers, wax & honey. Mix until well incorporated. Let simmer for 5 minutes. Turn heat off. Let stand for another 10 minutes. Strain off flowers & add essential oil. Pour into a clean container & let cool in the refrigerator.

Life at Inglewood today is cold, bitterly cold. My fire has been going non-stop for a week. Oh I know, it is not cold compared to many of my friends who live in the Northern hemisphere, but to us who live in the Land of sunshine & flowers... well, it is cold. I have been puttering around my home over the last week, seeing it with different eyes. I do love my home, but lately it has taken on an extra sacredness, like it is cocooning me from the world... I come into my own space that is my yard, surrounded by fences, close the gate and shut out the worries of the world. Then opening my door into my inner sanctum and come into my place of peace. Looking back over my soul journal the past year... I wrote: 'what do I wish to create?..... I wish to create a peaceful haven in my home......' and you know, I think I have done it.

The garden has virtually stopped, come to a standstill... resting, as it should in winter... the little finches are back, feeding on the grass seeds that are my lawn... I don't mow the grass during winter as the finches depend on it for their food...in one area of the grass, there is a whole patch of a tiny blue flower, I haven't a clue what it is.. but it is sweet, although a 'weed'.. I have seen it before.... perhaps in a previous life somewhere. Yesterday, while i was outside, I noticed the calendula and borage flowering in a tumbled confusion... blue & orange... such a perfect combination by Mother Earth... the daphne is still flowering profusely and the perfume is intoxicating... I can never understand why there wasn't a perfume made with this flower... or maybe there was...

you've come a long way baby.... my thoughts on Daisy

one year ago today...... (even though the date was actually June 16th.. today I mark the anniversary as I will never forget THAT Sunday morning......)

a year ago today, I woke to an inbox full of emails and I didn't know why... each one said 'I am so sorry Robyn, my thoughts are with you'... one said 'Robyn,go to Daisy's blog!' and as I read, I felt stunned, had no idea.. until I came to one from Sweet-pea.. telling me that her mum had died during the night.... I just gulped and felt sick, sick to my soul, so I 'raced' over to "cats in the kitchen, flora in the garden' hoping it was not true, but there it was, my dearest friend had left this life. I was stricken with grief, truly. I ran and told Joe and he hugged me while I sobbed. .....

I blogged, then I stopped, then I blogged some more: still Wednesdays child

(from my journal):the day she passed over, a blackbird visited my garden. an english blackbird, not a crow. It sat and looked at me for quite awhile, just looking and turning its head every now and then. It was a standing joke between Daisy and I - these blackbirds are not a native to our country and a family have taken my garden on as their home.. they throw mulch off, left right and centre and I would often complain about them.. Daisy advised to leave them be as they eat snails. I hadn't seen one in my garden for over two months.. they usually disappear at this time of year, but there she was, sitting on a branch near my back door.

a whole year... where has that time gone? Not a day goes by without me thinking of my twin soul and I still feel pangs of missing her, so, so much. Of what would have been when I met her on my trip to Cornwall next year, going to see her much loved Dene Cottage and walking around her village and through the magickal places that she talked about on her blog.... I know she is with me, leading me, guiding me but not being in the flesh... well, it is kind of second best, know what I mean?
I miss organising a time to meditate together, I miss her wisdom and her teachings, I miss her advice and support. I miss our connection with Cornwall, I miss her Daisy ramblings on her blog (I still read it often), I miss her telling of her twinkling lights in her bedroom, of her faery adventures, of her burning incense and snuggling with hot chocolate, of her cooking delights for her children..... I dreadfully miss HER.

And I know this is going to sound quite sad.. but I miss the Sabbat gifts... each Sabbat we would each send to the other a small gift to celebrate... nothing much, just bits n pieces... Daisy always sent me some incense that she ordered specially from the Goddess and the Green Man and other bits of magick appropriate to the sabbat.. I miss that.. I miss gathering bits to send to her, waiting in anticipation for her to open her gift and finding out how she loved it all.. I miss it all dreadfully. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her in some way.
Last year just before she passed, she emailed me and told me that she had sent my Yule gift..

"I am posting your yule bundle to you today, unfortunately, it is not as symbolic of the Winter Solstice as I would have liked, but a nice package anyways. You know what it is like looking for Yule stuff in June. Hope it gets to you in time, and nasty customs don't keep it for a month this time."

and I received it a few days after she died and mine to her arrived after she had passed.

In my package was a string of blue butterflies that I hung above my bed and each morning as i wake up, I see them... and remember Daisy. She also sent me a bundle of fabrics from her collection and I just never knew what to do with them.. so I have decided to make two podlings... one for me and one to give away to someone who knew her through blogging...(see below)

I look back on my emails from the days just after Daisy's death, from all my blogging friends - Ninnie who shared her OK story with me, talking to Gemma on the phone, Denise calling me from the UK and talking to me on yahoo, Colette for her wise words of support, Tinker for her love, Swampy who I didn't know at all, for his kind words, Sheila for her constant emails to make sure I was ok... Kim..Rowan for her emails, Julie....Annie, Krissie & Annie*!*...to Amelia, who doesn't have a blog but took the time to email me ....I can't begin to put everyone down and for everyone mentioned, there are two or three more... all supporting and caring me through what I think of as one of THE worst times of my life and I still feel a well of thanks.... and I say THANKYOU for that. It helped get me through one of the saddest times of my life.

I think of Sweet-Pea and how she is going...of how Dene Cottage is... how the garden is and how her 'other half' is coping.... how her son is going and how her mother is faring..... and I hope that oneday, soon, I will be able to see all of that in person.

I have come a long way, I have grown, stumbled. questioned, complained. Cried and cried some more..... But I have grown. I have come to a good place and I have met many new friends, some of whom I feel a real connection to.. ... but yes, still missing Daisy dreadfully...

so to those who have stuck by me in the past year: a huge thankyou! You are all angels in my life xoxo

** a podling is a Daisy creation... she sent me the first one she ever made. watch my blog for details over the next week... open to those people who knew Daisy... for those of you who didn't I have a little gift-away in her memory !

*Did you know Celts considered daisies to be the spirits of children who died at birth.
*In Christian legend daisies represent the tears of Mary Magdalene; each tear she shed in repentance became a daisy upon touching the earth.



and I still cannot bring myself to delete her from my Yahoo chat list... it will be just all too final

the Gypsy caravan & Oak

over the weekend, while I was at the Gypsy Caravan.. childhood memories came floating back while I read Women who run with the Wolves.... back to school yard times and a mighty Oak that was my magickal friend...I wrote in my journal: "I remember collecting acorns.. lots of them, gathering them for reasons unknown to my little girl self.... was this a past life memory piece? when I may have collected them for magickal spells and charms? I loved that tree, I can still see it. I know exactly where it stood" . As I sat and wrote in my journal, I travelled back to that time in the playground.. it was like I was there once again.

We had a wonderful time over the weekend, it rained so I didn't get to walk along the beach, but I snuggled under a blanket and read. I listened to the Jabiru's and I found a seat that I can sit on in the early mornings, when the weather is kinder.

above is a photo looking into our bedroom.. still alot to do. I want to paint the walls purple, with dark red trims..It is all coming together nicely, I made some velvet curtains to hang in the bedroom door and I adorned some other curtains with tuille and beads.. I bought myself a gorgeous crystal macrame hanger.. with a huge rose quartz terminal hanging down.. it now hangs in our bedroom.. we went to a scarecrow festival and wandered through market stalls... a wonderfully relaxing weekend. I really love the Gypsy caravan and I just wish i could let you feel what it is like to be there.

I haven't posted Celtic tree Lore in ages.... while reading Daisy's blog the other day, I came across the Oak, which is the tree for the 7th Moon of the Celtic year. Next week, I am making a wand in my Wild Woman Group and am still deciding whether to use Apple or Oak... can a witch have more than one wand?
in Daisy's words:
from the 10th of June we have the 7th Moon of the Celtic Year, the month of the Oak - Duir, (Duir meaning door.)
The Oak has always protected England from time immemorial, it was the sacred tree of the Druids, they had their Oak Groves.
The Oak is one of the three most sacred trees, Oak, Ash and Thorn and is thereby known as King of the Grove. English legend believes that King Arthur's Round Table was made from a massive slab of Oak tree. The oak is allied to the element of Fire and is ruled by the Sun. It has associations with the Oak or Green man who is a potent symbol in English folklore.

The bird connected to this Oak Month is the wren and the stone is moonstone.
The parts of the Oak used are the bark, wood, leaves, and acorns, which I will leave until last, as they are another interesting part of Oaklore. Oak bark tea is very astringent and is thought to be good for sinus infections. Oak can be used in spells of healing and fertilitiy, protection, strength and success. One belief is if you listen to the Oak at the Summer Solstice you can hear what the future holds by listening to the wind rustling through its leaves. Oakwood is a very powerful protection herb and are used as land boundary markers because of this. Also an Oakleaf worn next to your heart is said to protect the wearer from decption and falsehood. Try a handful of Oak leaves in your bath to cleanse you in body and spirit
Acorns, themselves are very useful and powerful small items. Acorns are said to be able to increase fertility, not just of the body but your creative fertility too. Play with a couple in your hand to ease pain or put some in your window or on your windowsill to deflect lightning and protect you from night creatures of evil intent. You can also carry them in your pocket for basically the same reasons, to protect from storms, from getting lost and from those spirits or people intent on ill wishes towards you. Three acorns threaded together can be made into a charm to preserve youthfulness and to help you achieve in life. You must thread a piece of your hair with the three acorns, and bless them every new moon and full moon, for twelve months. Acorns can also be planted in the dark moon days to bring financial rewards. You must harvest the Oak tree by the waning moon. The acorns in daylight and the wood and leaves at night. Don't forget that part of your Summer Solistice fire should be of Oak wood.

and by Glennie Kindred:
It is a very magick think to find a pool of water hidden within the boughs of the tree, and to know that this pure rainwater has been soaking up all the herbal and spiritual properties of the Oak. It is worth returning to the tree with a jar to collect the water in.
For generations upon generations, people have gone to sit beneath the mighty Oak to gain strength and spiritual renewal. The outside world can be forgotten and the inner world can slip back into perspective. The Oak can help you to find new understanding and vision, gained from your experiences. This in turn will bring strength and courage to fact whatever life has to offer you. The Oak tree's mighty presence will help restore faith in ourselves and withi this lies the ability to go ahead and aim for what we most want in life. It is well worth finding the time to go and sit with an Oak tree and to receive the qualities it has to offer us. Remember to thank the tree after each communications, not because the tree needs your thanks but to keep open your channels of love and respect for the tree kingdom and all of nature. This will enhance your ability to receive their qualities on the deepest level. (Originally published at Beltane 1998)
ooh and don't forget to visit the Enchanted Forest.. the Oak has made a visit!

the ancestors & some thoughts while I walked along the shore

Viola, my great-grandmother, sitting on the beach. Notice that she is dressed in her normal day to day clothes.. handbag and most probably stockings. Love the hat! Viola was born in Australia, in a little town called Morpeth in New South Wales. She is my link to Scotland about 5 generations back.

while I was walking along the sea shore each day, I thought. alot. And I connected with the Mother Earth or was it the Goddess of the Sea? I felt calm and at peace and at one with all. The first morning I stood facing out to sea and I closed my eyes and I connected with my ancestors.. I felt Laura with me as well as Viola, my maternal great-grandma. I actually got quite emotional and tears rolled down my cheek.. it was so healing! I felt how much Laura was grateful that she had the opportunity to be in Australia and how the beach reminded her of Devon. It was as if Laura was conveying her feelings to me.. as if she was really reaching out to me...

I also felt very blessed and grateful that I live within 2 hours of the beach, 1 hour from the city of Sydney and that I live in the mountains, where the air is fresh and clean and that I can always find somewhere in the mountains to be by myself.

a perfect life.

how swimsuit fashions have changed! this photo is one of my dear Nana - Jean Ingall Franks and myself when I was about 4 or 5. It was taken in her lounge room.... she hardly ever went to the beach as she was blind but when I visited, we use to run under the sprinkler to keep cool.

while I was at the beach, I had such fun collecting shells, just like I did when I was a little girl... fish and chips with lots of salt tastes so much better when you eat them on the beach... sea-weed is always mermaid hair and my all time favourite: an ice-cream cone... melting and dripping down your arm while you frantically try to lick it before it all melts away.... I was having fun with my inner child!

my cornish pixie ~ sacred Sunday

some things are just sacred. for no particular reason except for the memories that they bring back.. to tug at your heart.

my Pa, the one who is my connection to Cornwall.. use to call me 'his little pixie' , when I was a little girl. He also called me Miss Robyn... and that is where my blogging name comes from. I had forgotten completely of the pixie name until the other day when I was sorting through my childhood treasures and I came across my silver mug that was given to me by my Nanna and Pa when I was christened.. the one I drank my milk from when I was a baby, the one that is tarnished with age because I don't believe in polishing the silver. And I gasped as I remembered the little silver pixie that is on the front.... my little silver pixie mug - sacred to me, sacred to my inner child.

the flannel flower

Australia has some of the most exquiste native flowers than any where else in the world.... oh yes, I adore all the cottage garden plants, the lavenders, the foxgloves and the daisies.... but there is something unique about our native flora here in Oz... take for instance the little flannel flower.

This has to be my all time favourite wild flower. When we use to go on bush walks when I was little, I loved it when I stumbled across a bush of flannel flowers if they were blooming. I would touch them and pat them and sometimes pick one (it is illegal to pick flowers from the bushland but we were on my uncles property so that was ok *I think*), so that I could brush its soft little petals across my face. It was so comforting... the petals are just like flannelette to touch. Even now, when I come across a flannel flower, it takes me back to those times... times when I saw faeries sitting in the bottle brush tree..... there is a bush flower essence of flannel flower which is used for: addressing the child within * playfulness, to be carefree.

Since Daisy passed, I have just been drifting through my day, allowing myself to feel any emotion that I needed to heal my grief..., still 'doing' all my housework but without the usual joy of creating my nest... I woke this morning to see that my home needs some sparkle! So the next few days I am going to be getting my home into that space where it exudes love and peace once more..I will invoke the help of the goddess, Hestia and I can pick myself a huge bunch of flowers from my garden - daphne, roses, feverfew, violets and lavender and tuck them into an old glass jar.... light some candles and tonight a lovely dinner for two... the Moon is in the sign of Pisces and according to my Moon diary - a day to eat light and simple meals.. a day to have a foot massage... a time to start to think detoxification during the waning moon..

*~* I hope your day is filled with butterflies, magick, colour & fripperies! ~*~