"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Wednesday, 31 December 2008

farewell 2008.....

"authentic as you have become, full of wisdom, beauty and grace, enriched and enlightened by all you have experienced....." (Simple Abundance)......
have I? during 2008 & my journey this year, have I become full of wisdom, beauty and grace. Have I become enriched and enlightened by all I have experienced?. I hope so. Maybe not always but I pray that sometimes this is so. And where I have stumbled, I always have 2009 to try again.

will be doing my blessing jar today.... Krissie asked if it had worked.....
I believe it did.
on my note for 2008 I had written:
"I wish to be free from anger, I wish for joy, peace & happiness. To be open to my intuition, to let go of fear, to be healthy and to be open to my wise woman" - I do believe that these wishes have come true..... I also put on my note that I wished for "abundance, purification, vision, grounding, freedom, unity, truth, memory, love & choices......" and those, I believe have manifested as well.
I have had a wonderful 2008.. oh yes, there have been hiccoughs, I have stumbled and sometimes been in despair and wanted to give up this journey.... but with the support of each of you, my blogging kindred souls & sisters... I have persevered and I thankyou for being my friend. I have so much to be grateful for.....

1. the birth of Harry, my absolutely gorgeous grandson...

2. Soul Coaching. where I met many delightful women who were travelling similar paths to mine

3. my garden.. *sigh* what more can I say. It is truly Heaven on Earth

4. Joe. my soul mate. my rock. hard as I am on him, he continues to support and love me. Poor guy, I give him such a hard time sometimes with my anger & bitterness.. but he lets me rant and rave, patiently, silently. .... I sometimes think I am like Hyacinth "Bouquet"... and he is my ever suffering Richard.

5. YOU. I am grateful that you my dear kindred spirit have crossed my path this year. Thankyou for being you.
and so we journey into 2009.

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

forget the New Year's resolutions !!

they only make you feel guilty....

last year I posted a ritual for a Sweep, Smudge and blessing Jar (by Cindi) to be placed at your door & I thought i would share it again .... mine will be taken down tomorrow night and the contents burnt... then on New Years day, I will create another for 2009.....

Sweep your main living area, entryway, or porch, to sweep out the old and allow the new to enter. Smudge around the room using a sweetgrass or sage smudging bundle and feather. Say prayers of your own choosing, in each of the four directions, east, west, north and south:

East represents "illuminocity", giving individuals the ability to see all that is around them from a spiritual perspective.
West represents the inner heart and soul.
North represents knowledge, wisdom and purification of the heart, mind and soul. South represents the physical self.

Say a prayer of thanksgiving, and ask your spirit guides for safety, security and direction for the coming year.

Make a blessing jar...
Into a vase, jar or bottle (which symbolizes protection) put a small bag of soil (for abundance), a coin (for prosperity), a fabric bag of salt (for purification), a crystal (for vision), an arrowhead (for guidance), a tiny fabric bag of herbs (for grounding), a left over candle (for focus), a cross (for balance), a feather (for freedom), a clipping of hair from each family member (for unity), an old key (for opportunity), a small mirror (for truth), a piece of red paper (for memory), a small fabric bag of raw rice (for fertility), a ring (for love), a runestone (for communication), a shell (for choices), a small fabric bag of loose tea (for awareness), a small paper folded fan (for healing), a rubber band (for flexibility), a letter that contains this list and what you hope to accomplish this year, sealed inside an envelope (for happiness)

You need not have everything on this list, select what is important to you.

Seal the jar with the lid, or cover the bottle or vase with a piece of fabric and a rubberband or string. Place your blessing jar either just inside or outside your front door until next New Years Eve...

Feel free to share this ritual - the more blessing jars, smudging and rituals performed around the world the stronger the positive energy is for all...

Friday, 26 December 2008

so this is christmas.. Boxing Day... the ramblings of a bitter old woman (tongue in cheek)

Boxing Day. I am thinking that this day got its name because the day after christmas, I feel like boxing everyones ears. I am so over it, bah humbug, yes call me Scrooge

I have absolutely no idea what christmas is about. at all. getting together with family is wonderful at any other time of year... take my mother for instance. Love her of course. But I do not like her chosen partner at all. Not my dad.. he died many years ago, but the pompous, arrogant, old man who she took up with 20 years ago. And please do not say to look at him and see what he is mirroring to me. Because i won't take one bit of notice of that train of thought at all. Plus, when he goes to the toilet, he wees all over the seat... lord, that is more than anyone needs to know.

but not only is he arrogant and pompous, he is also, well just an awful man. He constantly belittles my mum and makes her feel inferior. I hate that. But I bite my tongue so that he won't take it out on her.

I always do a breakfast for friends on christmas morning.... all very civilized, Usually. but not this year, because my mother and her 'friend' decided to come I set the table as I usually do...

I served my usual christmas breakfast: fruit compote that I cook the night before, yoghurt, fresh fruit platter and scrambled eggs, field mushrooms and vine ripened tomatoes... along with juice, tea and coffee and of course eggnog with brandy and nutmeg.... but I forgot the marmalade and I did not hear it once.. I heard it many times... until dinner time... where I served baked leg ham, lamb, sweet potatoes in brown sugar, a layered salad and smashed potatoes....pavlova for dessert topped with raspberries, blueberries, passionfruit and banana... but I did not serve plum pudding and he complained to anyone who would listen. every one went home and i was left to wash up, vacuum the floor and wash it as well... maybe I am anal but I could not stand to go to bed, leaving the floor like it was. People seem to miss putting the food in their mouth on christmas day. The run around like demented people, spilling their drinks while i am in the kitchen with water if I am lucky...... waking at 5am this morning, I immediately sent a text message: next year christmas will be celebrated at a local restaurant. not argument will be entered into about my decision. thankyou xo -

I am totally over it. I am. 34 years I have done this. And i am finished. done.... yes, I think right now could be the star in "bitter Old Women" - but truly, I am laughing about this... all of my ramblings are tongue in cheek & I am laughing at it all... it is just all madness......

that all said and done.... this morning I was woken with the delightful song of the blackbird... all is really well in my world

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Happy Holidays!

yes, I can say Happy Holidays.. no seasonal conotations at all and it is OUR summer holidays down here, so I think it is the perfect greeting for me to say...
today I run round like a mad woman, not the wise woman that I strive to be... I run to buy Brandy Butter, more cream. Vegetables and fruit. Yoghurt to go with the fruit compote that I serve at breakfast on Christmas day. I go to the butchers to collect my ham, I finish wrapping presents and i order one dozen sausages just in case the 9kg ham is not enough. Just in case.....

a little corner of my world brings peace back into my soul every time i walk in the back door.....
yesterday I had my hair coloured... my youngest daughter Sophie is now a hairdresser and has just passed a hair colouring exam receiving top marks.. so I asked her to colour my hair... it is still dark but now I have purple foils... love it.. kind of goes with the tattoo... no photos yet....

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

blogging without obligation, another award! and a little bit of 'christmas' from Inglewood.....

first of all.. blogging without obligation... right now, each and every one of us is busy, frazzled and some of us, near demented... I am trying to visit blogs but I may not get to visit all my friends.. so please don't think I have forgotten you.. I am just busy.. as well as getting ready for 'christmas', I also have to look after my garden in this summer heat & rain that alternates lately.. and I know every one of us is busy so if you can't get to visit.. that is ok. Don't stress. We will all catch up after the silliness is all over xoxo ....

Jamie gave me an award - I am so honoured that this wise woman chose my blog thankyou Jamie xo a blog award from the gorgeous Jamie - who to pass this on to? I am thinking.....

and last but not least, I will leave you with a couple of photos... more to come tomorrow, I hope. but for now, here is my token 'christmas' - 'tree' :-

I just cannot bear to even wrap in a yule tide theme.. so I searched for something summery & bright... lime green paper and brightly coloured ribbon.... and a card that simply says 'have a magickal Midsummer'..... most of my friends here, just don't get it.

Sunday, 21 December 2008

ahhh Midsummer

the very first thing that I heard this morning when I woke was the blackbird, singing it's little heart out and is still going right now as I type. The blackbird as you know, I believe is a sign from Daisy. A blackbird singing at Midsummer. Daisy's favourite time of year - a sign perhaps? a magickal sign? it gladdens my heart when the blackbird visits... . We are off to do our last minute christmas shopping today, to buy gifts for those people who insist on wishing me a wonderful Christmas.. I feel like screaming. I wandered around the garden early this morning and thought i would leave you with some photos.....

for those of you who live below the Equator, have a wonderful Midsummer, full of magick.... and for those in the Northern Hemisphere a blessed Winter Solstice xoxo.... later today, make sure you visit FaeryLand for a special surprise!!

Friday, 19 December 2008

I open my arms....

each morning, I welcome the new day, using the words from Denise Linn: 'I open my arms to the glory of this new day. I ask that the Goddess be with me this day, to guide me and so that love may fill me and flow through me'..... I connect myself to spirit and earth - with a cord, like a beanstalk running down from my soul star deep into Mother Earth....... this morning, as i was sitting there, with my hands in prayer postition, I looked out the window at the big gum tree up the road and the sun was sparkling through the leaves, bouncing off the eucalypt oil, sending twinkles of bright light - so sparkly, like the whole tree was alive with little faery lights... it was magickal.... as if the faeries were letting me know that yes, they were here. In Australia. Our very own faeries of the eucalypt tree. Waking up in readiness for Midsummer......and as I sat, looking, not wanting that moment of magick to stop, I was grateful. Deeply grateful.....

as I said, it seems that we do have our own faeries here in Australia.... it has been spoken about in FaeryLand.... through the portal and into the Enchanted Forest - don't forget to click on the birdie's back!

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

leading up to Midsummer

I woke early this morning and went into my garden, to water and as i turned the hose on, a magpie greeted me with his divine carolling.... there were butterflies galore, the warm days must be helping them to escape their cocoons in readiness to greet Midsummer which is coming up on Sunday - flitting around the garden, fluttering around and around me... ... and while all this was happening, I was standing in the most magickal perfume of the gardenias. Pure and absolute bliss... I am sure this is what heaven must smell like. A true summer perfume. I was in awe of Mother Nature.. forgiving her for the destruction she had wreaked upon my garden last week

I am puttering around my home today, putting up some of the obligatory Christmas decorations - very simple with lots of candles. And my tree this year is a Camellia. I bought it on Sunday and have some divine fabric rose lights to put in the branches.. then a few birdies that I am yet to make and it will be done. Tonight we are off to the city of Sydney with our children and grandchildren, to see the shop window display and the Christmas tree in Martin place....

is it beginning to look like Christmas? well, yes I guess so... I must find a way to accept that Christmas is now... but it is just wrong to celebrate this in summer. The coming of the sun? that is at winter solstice... but I won't go on about it any longer.. I am beginning to sound like a broken record

On Monday, I spent 4 hours in the garden, tidying up. It was like a meditation. My plants survived... a little worse for wear but they were tended and loved yesterday. I gave them a feed of my bio dynamic comfrey tea, trimmed their broken bones, tied them up and loved them and yes, there are more flowers and fruit forming.. the whole while I did this, a blackbird sat in my ancient apple tree and sang.

a big thankyou to: Tori - an amazing 18 year old young woman. who has given me this friendship award. I feel blessed and honoured that she thinks that my blog is an inspiration.... I am not good at choosing who to give these to, so I would like to give it to each and every person who visits Inglewood, you make me smile with your comments and your words help me on my journey. xo

Sunday, 14 December 2008

how can I make my Liver smile ? or do I need a dose of cod liver oil

when I was little, you could always, always count on this time of year being very warm to hot... so you planted tomatoes, cucumbers & zucchinis, beans and other summer vegetables.. knowing that the warmth would help them to grow.... but the past few years the weather has been, well lets say, different. Odd. You cannot count on the seasons as we knew them. a few months ago, I planted my tomato plants and bean seeds. Then it rained for days on and off.. cold, misty rain. Cold enough to light the fire. And the tomatoes sat, doing nothing, thinking it was winter.. and the beans stayed snug beneath the earth.. warm and safe from the unseasonal cold. Then it was hot for a few days.. hot and humid and of course I complained but the tomatoes started to produce fruit and ripen.. the beans sprouted and started to grow. Then it rained some more.... torrential rain.... and cold. Tomatoes and beans need warmth and sun to grow and with this kind of weather.. well they are not doing too good..... Yesterday, I spent hours in my garden - tying up my tomato plants securely, so that they would be supported as they grow, picking up the millions of gum sticks from my garden - enjoying it so much after days of rain... I even harvested my first two zucchinis! last night the wind started. Destructive wind. Gusts of wind, whipping through my garden - I woke this morning to total devastation. My tomato plants have snapped off, my zucchini leaves have twisted and turned in the wind and now hang limply, the small developing fruits laying on the ground. Apples strewn across the lawn. And I could cry. Right now i hate Mother Nature for what she has done. I am angry. Angry enough to shake my fist at the elements.

And of course wind affects the liver... and when the liver is out of balance, I get angry. And not just angry at the weather, I get angry at everyone.. my poor Joe.. he really cops it, I walk around like I have black cloud hanging over my head ......stamping and muttering. It is quite laughable really. except that I am not a nice person when I am angry and I don't like that at all.

I remember my grandmother saying (when someone was angry) that they needed a dose of cod liver oil.. as they were suffering from SOL... which I found out later if in life, meant shit on the liver... and of course now i know what that really means.. so do I need to race out and buy some cod liver oil and take a spoonful.. not something that I really want to do, but I will try anything to rid myself of this anger... *sigh* I was doing so well after Soul Coaching.....anyhow, I wish to make my liver smile again... I remember reading in Eat, Love, Pray about smiling in the liver.... I wonder how I can do that??

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

i don't feel like i BELONG ~ the ancestors have heard and now they take me on another soul journey....

oh! the way my ancestors & soul self are working!!!

this is a journey that I never expected to take.... one that has not bothered me until now. This could turn into a controversial post, it is not meant to be.. some Australians don't even think about what I write below, it doesn't bother them at all, it is not an issue for them... which of course is fine.. but it does bother me, this feeling of not belonging and I don't even expect my international friends to understand what I am writing about... this post is for me to sort out things that have come up in the past few weeks... and I choose to put my thoughts down here ...

a few hundred years ago, people were sailing all around the world to find new lands, to discover new territories, to conquer the world. I guess it was part of the Big Plan.... and Australia was discovered by the English/Dutch?? - never know which... and promptly settled.... and of course the indigenous people were here when they arrived... So much happened in those years... awful things that I won't go into as this post is not about that... but there are big issues here in Australia, concerning what happened.. bigger than huge as one of my friends has put it... but this is not a history lesson and heaven forbid that it become political ... all this is, is this girls search to belong......

1958 - a baby girl came into the world. .. born in Australia.... probably wondering what the hell she was doing here.... but it was all planned and this life was for her to journey in this country, to find her roots and her belonging.... introducing ME.

I am not Indigenous Australian, but I am native Australian - 7th generation Australian, on one branch of my tree

NATIVE: born in a particular place or country....yes, that is me.

being brought up in a white community and being told by teachers at school and many community members, that the whites were better than the aboriginals, that the aboriginals were 'savages'...well, sadly i believed it. AND I AM ASHAMED OF THAT..(I am also a little afraid of the aboriginals, I don't know how to relate to them.. don't know what to say.. I have no idea why.. maybe years of collective guilt and shame - I need to work through all of this, and I will ).... As I went through my teen years, I didn't think much of it at all.. just got on with life and what life presented to me. I yearned for England, knowing that is where some my ancestors came from... thinking that if I found my connection, then I would find home... I found my connection in Cornwall, as many of you know back to the 14th century.... and something settled in my spirit but I still felt that I did not connect with this ancient land that I was born to..... I was still restless, lost.

just lately, dreams and meditations began to take a different road... I dreamed of the land, I started to walk in the bush, absorbing the energies, falling in love with the environment here.. loving the flowers and native birds.... all of which I hated as a younger woman. I dreamed of my childhood and all those things of Australia that I loved when I was a child.. heaven forbid, I even started to defend my country in conversation!! It is like I am absorbing the energy of Australia at last, something in me is the land is calling me...

And then one day a few weeks ago, while I was in my garden, I realised that I must be CONNECTED to the land, because if I wasn't, then my garden would not flourish like it did... so what was missing??? what was this yearning that I still felt?

And of course the media don't help at all.. saying that the white people are invaders.. in a way I guess they were.... but that attitude reinforced my belief that I didn't belong here.......In my journal, I was asking questions like: why do I feel like a trespasser? Is it not my land too?

I meditated some more...heard voices...I dreamed of making a medicine bag, I was given the gift of a Magpie totem..... and then an invitation to a women's initiation ceremony....I was on the back of the bike the other day, riding through areas that I grew up in, the land of the Dharug people and as I looked out into the bush as we rode by, I felt a welcoming spirit, like the trees were calling me and I began to feel a stirring of belonging, that the ancestors of the land were ok with me being here.. a friend put a book into my hands, written by an Australian man..Peter Read, not much older than I am and the book is called 'Belonging' ~ all about his childhood and how he felt like he didn't belong.. like he was intruding and about his journey through that.... and as I read it, i realised that it wasn't a connection that I was searching for.. it was a belonging....I wanted to feel & believe that I belong here.... and so my journey begins.....

starting Midsummer.. I am planning on doing a ritual at a Sacred Women's place not far from where I live, a place that I only found out about last week from a friend... she told me of this magickal area where women can go... called Minnehaha Falls... a place where I can ask forgiveness for what I had believed, to let go of notions of not being welcome and to allow myself to belong... then I am going to journey some more... which will be my journey of belonging.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

a magpie totem ~ more on my medicine bag

on Monday, Joe and I went for a walk - we decided to do the round walk in Katoomba because it is a lovely walk through the bush, down stairs, along paths and past the witches leap. It is a favourite walk of ours.

as I walked along the track, I saw a magpie feather and fleetingly thought that I should pick it up, but I didn't and kept walking.. a few steps along, Joe pointed out that he had just seen a magpie feather and I again debated in my head whether to go back and get it... deciding to, I turned around and went to get it.... as I walked along, holding it, I knew in my soul that it was the first item for my medicine bag that I had been instructed to create for myself.

a few nights previously, I was meditating and heard that MAGPIE was one of my totems. I hadn't remembered this until I read back through my journal and saw where I had written it... I had questioned this as Magpie wasn't something i had even thought of as my totem until a friend pointed out to me that I am often accompanied by magpie while gardening...... it is yet another sign of my connecting and belonging to this wild land..... magpie is native to Australia.
a beautiful bird - every morning I hear them carolling to herald the new day.

and what does Magpie mean? according to Scott Alexander King, an australian animal totem author: being ready to walk a path of the heart to find a place of inner fredom..and helps you to turn your weaknesses into strengths.

Monday, 1 December 2008

oh my ! it's that time again !! .....and what has been happening at Inglewood while I have been on sabbatical

yes! December 1st and the portal to Faery Land is open.... only for the month of December.. so follow this link and be whisked away to a land of Mystery & Magick ----->the portal to the Enchanted Forest

ahh the Onion, like a Health Spa for the soul.. journeying through the month of November with many, many wise & inspirational women... discovering a little more about my Soul self & finding that I am a wise women, a wild one at that!

you see, I now have tattoo.. yes, last week I went and had my tattoo done - on the top of my arm.. I chose a Celtic tree of life to honour my Cornish ancestry... the tattoo artist asked if I was Irish - so I then proceeded to say 'no.. not all celtic people are Irish..' then I named all the Celtic countries so that she was informed... I walked into the tattoo parlour quaking in my boots ('cept they were Converse) - felt like a real baby.. hell, the past 10 years I have had more needles than my vintage pincushion and here i am being afraid of a tattoo needle?

the baby sparrows have hatched out and are now being taught to fly by Mum & Dad Sparrow (I wonder if they are related to Capt. Jack??).... it is so funny. If they see me anywhere near, the freeze and stop chirping.. trying to pretend they are not there.. then when they think I am not watching, mum jumps on the baby's back, flaps her wings wildly and then allows baby to fly by herself.. they are so sweet.

the blackbird continues to visit me, sitting in the apple tree singing away!! Daisy is letting me know that life is wonderful, all we need to do is sing and be grateful that we are alive...and not worry about anything that we cannot change

I have started to feel a strong connection to Australia - finding my roots and planning on somekind of ritual that I can take to a Sacred space and connect.... I struggle with this... as many of you know. But last week, I had a dream that i am to make a medicine bag.. i even was instructed on how to do this - using leaves & different dirt and stones to decorate.. then when I am walking, I will find what I am to put into it.. this will be part of my connection to Australia.

My garden is struggling - the weather is very, very odd. A few weekends ago, we had snow. The beginning of summer and it snows. No wonder my beans and cucumbers are struggling. But that is gardening. You can never predict the weather...

Christmas coming up but as most of you know - I struggle with this too... so even though we will celebrate Christmas, I am going to put a Midsummer slant on of course I must! It's good to be back at Inglewood.. I feel so fresh and sparkly.

and in the words of one of my favourite wise women:

{from Daisy's blog}