"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Friday, 26 December 2008

so this is christmas.. Boxing Day... the ramblings of a bitter old woman (tongue in cheek)

Boxing Day. I am thinking that this day got its name because the day after christmas, I feel like boxing everyones ears. I am so over it, bah humbug, yes call me Scrooge

I have absolutely no idea what christmas is about. at all. getting together with family is wonderful at any other time of year... take my mother for instance. Love her of course. But I do not like her chosen partner at all. Not my dad.. he died many years ago, but the pompous, arrogant, old man who she took up with 20 years ago. And please do not say to look at him and see what he is mirroring to me. Because i won't take one bit of notice of that train of thought at all. Plus, when he goes to the toilet, he wees all over the seat... lord, that is more than anyone needs to know.

but not only is he arrogant and pompous, he is also, well just an awful man. He constantly belittles my mum and makes her feel inferior. I hate that. But I bite my tongue so that he won't take it out on her.

I always do a breakfast for friends on christmas morning.... all very civilized, Usually. but not this year, because my mother and her 'friend' decided to come I set the table as I usually do...

I served my usual christmas breakfast: fruit compote that I cook the night before, yoghurt, fresh fruit platter and scrambled eggs, field mushrooms and vine ripened tomatoes... along with juice, tea and coffee and of course eggnog with brandy and nutmeg.... but I forgot the marmalade and I did not hear it once.. I heard it many times... until dinner time... where I served baked leg ham, lamb, sweet potatoes in brown sugar, a layered salad and smashed potatoes....pavlova for dessert topped with raspberries, blueberries, passionfruit and banana... but I did not serve plum pudding and he complained to anyone who would listen. every one went home and i was left to wash up, vacuum the floor and wash it as well... maybe I am anal but I could not stand to go to bed, leaving the floor like it was. People seem to miss putting the food in their mouth on christmas day. The run around like demented people, spilling their drinks while i am in the kitchen with water if I am lucky...... waking at 5am this morning, I immediately sent a text message: next year christmas will be celebrated at a local restaurant. not argument will be entered into about my decision. thankyou xo -

I am totally over it. I am. 34 years I have done this. And i am finished. done.... yes, I think right now could be the star in "bitter Old Women" - but truly, I am laughing about this... all of my ramblings are tongue in cheek & I am laughing at it all... it is just all madness......

that all said and done.... this morning I was woken with the delightful song of the blackbird... all is really well in my world


Annie said...

Oh Robyn. I am already writing the screenplay for this crazed Christmas day. Not just dinner but breakfast too. Yea Gads! The good news is, we have a whole year to re-enforce your text message so you don't back down at the last minute. Or, let someone else do it. Or be alone with just your husband and whatever children are around. Of course the last suggestion is totally unrealistic but it deserves a try anyway.

Now - go out to your garden, find that blackbird again and hum a little tune with him.

Love and happy 2009.

Peggy said...

Those things are stressful things to deal with but what about the wonderful things of your Christmas day? The grands and the memories you are making for them. I don't mean to be scolding my friend. I know this has been a very rough year for you. If you keep in your heart and mind the stressful bad memories of the day soon your good ones will be lost forever.

Sorrow said...

The Christmas day rant.
Love it!
yes it's a bizarre holiday, and if it makes you insane, you are right to forgo all that effort.
i have a few of those..
Those who can do nothing but find fault with my efforts, and i am BLOOD related to them.
I usually tell them if they can't say anything nice, to shut up PLEASE!
One Aunt no longer bothers coming because i will not allow her drama or whining.
Suits me just fine.
dear Robyn, and a peaceful day after.

kim said...

sounds like if he wants something in particular, he best offer to bring it next time! or shut his pie hole.

Ali said...

I am no fan of "Christmas time" so I hear where you're coming from!! It should be a time for all to enjoy so Christmas lunch in a restaurant sounds like the perfect answer for you :-)

I'm glad you enjoyed the singing blackbird!

linda may said...

Aw Darlin! Here is a big Hug from me.
I know what you feel about your Mum's partner, I felt like that about Pete's Mum's second hubby. He was like that too, and the horrible thing about him is that he knew it and was proud of it. He actually grabbed my boob one Christmas. Pig of a man, I could tell lots of stories about him, he is gone now.
Anyway if not a restaurant then definitely some one else's turn next year. You have well and truly done your share.
Two of my kids have just left to go back to Wagga so I am thinking Bah Humbug too. Is that all there is?

gemma said...

How rude to pee all over then complain about no marmalade.
Ya shoulda boxed him Robyn.
What a lovely altar.
Still Christmas here...but I'm over it too!

amelia said...

Hi Robyn, I am soooo with you for the Christmas stuff. I'm done and over it forever and we don't even have the bad feeling that you had.How can you be quiet over the situation? Do you talk to your mum about it when she's alone? That's just awful..

I am in Toronto and have been from the night of the 18th Dec, I drove through the night and got here at 4.30am. The birth happened at 10.15 am and now I'm ready to go home!!! I'm going home Saturday and I can't wait. I'm tired and too old for this. I've done laundry and dishes and taken care of the eight and two year old and and my daughter in law and new baby and now I'm ready to take care of my dogs again!! My poor hubby has spent so much time alone

Kavindra said...


If there is a next time, tell him you were GOING to get the marmalade, but you got distracted when you sat down in his PEE, and then totally forgot!

I bet it was him that put the food on the floor too!

Anonymous said...

I just didn't get into it this year, so much trauma, drama and heartache over one day. Yes its lovely to see family, but its soo nice when its over.
You can enjoy your garden and peace now (till next year :-)lol )

Winterwood said...

Boxing day IS for boxing, lol!!! we are all over the christmas thing here and back to normal or we will go stir crazy!!! I laughed so much at you being over it.... arent we all??? I know I say this every year too! Meryy yule/xmas to you robyn!!

Pam said...

" when he goes to the toilet he wees all over the seat".You crack me up Robyn.Could be worse. Could wee on you! My mother's aging brother is no longer welcome for his usual extended 6 week stay at Christmas in their house.The wee-issue thing being just one of the reasons, his boorishness another.Like you,my dad said he was over it.Well and truly.Love to you and not to forget season's greetings to those who are aimless at Christmas.

Tori said...

I'm sorry this day turned out so bad. I'd be mad, too. Go find the blackbird again, and enjoy the wonderful song it sings. =)

Kim said...

Sorry you had a bit of a stressy time, Robyn. I think a good rant can only help though :)

I hope you enjoy the rest of the holiday. Take care

Kim x

Julie said...

I had to suffer under my aunt's complaints for many years (my own mother's sister, for gawd's sake). She would come and stay 7-10 days, expected me to chauffeur her everywhere and loan her money, complained about our pets, our eating times, Dan's drinking, my weight, whatever. One Christmas Day she was sitting there eating my lovely turkey dinner, never having lifted a finger to help or do anything else, and putting down Dan and me. Well, I exploded and kicked her out of the house. (She didn't have to sit in a snowbank - she had my sister's place to go to). I have never been sorry I did it!

Fire Byrd said...

Relatives who'd have them????
They have such a way of making things go .... well either way really! Hope the blackbird has helped you maintain your equilibrium today.
Any instead go the Peaceful and Happy New .
I willl write soon when I have a minute to myself.

Genie Sea said...

Thank goodness for the blackbird!

After reading your post. I wanted to box their ears! No one helped you clean up? How rude!

Your stepmonster isn't reflecting anything you have honey. He is murky, and I am feeling sorry for your mom. Just plain ewness!

Happy recuperating and stick to your guns about next year :)

Kathryn Knoll said...

This is such a wonderfully real and delightful post. Who among us could not relate on some level or another? I have heard this story, oh, so many times as I have sat with women as they share about the holidays. It is part of the human-ness that never gets in to all those Hollywood holiday movies etc. that paint pictures about what Christmas is all about. Mostly we bring ourselves and all our foibles to the feast. Thank you for the great laugh in sharing your experience. You worked so hard to make everything so perfect.You do get a star, a very shiny star for your efforts. I send much love and blessings in the coming new year! Sr.K

laughingwolf said...

season's blessings to you and yours....

Pearl said...

A huge thumbs up for Christmas lunch in a restaurant.

Rapunzel said...

Oh, Robyn, I'm so sorry your Christmas was not as wonderful as you deserve! I understand your rant, have been there many times before.

No words of wisdom from me, just hugs. xoxoxoxo

solsticedreamer said...

oh dear my lovely what a day you had.
i have to say this was the most difficult i have had as my sister has a new boyfriend who my mum is having major problems in accepting and i feel like a punch bag between my mum and sister...mum moaning about sis and her bf, sis moaning about mum...hey-ho!

peppylady said...

This man your mum decided to have as friend sound like a jack ass.
You real can't say anything to your mum or maybe I wouldn't know what to say.
Does she realize he is a jerk?

I bet if he didn't show up it wouldn't of rain on the parade.

Plus I'll even bet if he could be around someone like him. He would do one or two things.
1. Couldn't stand that person.
2.Work harder at finding something to complain about.

Well it over and the coffee is on.

Bimbimbie said...

LOL perhaps a picnic for two and a special invite for the Blackbird next year Robyn*!*

Lady Prism said...

Ah'...somebody feels the way I do. I spent Christmas day sleeping because I was soooo tired from spending the whole of the 24th just cooking and washing dishes. Restaurant it will be for next year as well.

Happy New Year to you Miss R:)

A bird in the hand said...

I had a very peaceful Christmas, because I spent it alone except for a friend who came over for dinner. Presents from family and phone conversations with them, and that was it.

It used to be that I fell for convention and felt lonely while all those around were were frantically getting together for big reunions... These days, I thank my lucky stars.

It's great for the kiddies, but otherwise, it should be a quiet time for adults. Although, since Christmas replaced Saturnalia, it's no wonder..


Serena said...

I don't blame you for having Christmas dinner at a restaurant from now on. I do Christmas Dinner as well as a New Year's Eve party here and, part of me feels like it's getting too much for me. A little help makes all the difference and, in your case, some appreciation wouldn't go astray either. May you find peace and calm in your garden ~

love, light and peace,

Serena said...

I meant to add that your table setting looks lovely and so inviting ~ :)