"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Wednesday, 30 January 2008


I took my previous post down, well because when i wrote it, I was sad,then I put it back up as I was denying my shadow side.... and it is time to face her! and although still sad... I am also happy.. not sure if that makes sense... but my sadness is not an all the time sadness and it is not depression .... most times, I laugh and chatter but sometimes.. like a flash, this soul sadness, this yearning comes to visit and I feel disconnected.
st night, I went for a walk to Echo Point in Katoomba.. the mist was rolling in and it was quite cold. and as the mist rolled in, I felt connected. I felt connected to Earth. And looking deep into the valley where it is green and dark, and the mist was swirling around, parting then covering again...... it reminded me of somewhere that I know in my soul, I heard voices from long ago - not with my ears but inside somewhere .... This place, Katoomba, is a power spot for me..
While I was standing there at Echo Point, looking out at the mist.. I noticed a woman about my age.. sitting, looking quite sad, lost and lonely and realized that she was just like me.... lost and searching, with a sadness she had but she didn't know why ... and I felt not quite so alone. So many of us seem to searching right now. I felt like hugging her but I didn't.. so I just looked into her eyes and smiled.. and she smiled back.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


Tracy said...

Glad you are feeling a little bit better Robyn. :)

DAWN said...

I'm glad you are choosing to plod along with the blog world. It can be freeing in a way that other outlet cannot, at times. Oh, and congratulations to your daughter! how exciting for you all. When he makes his appearance, give his head a good smell for me. (I love to smell babies heads, they're essence is so pure it always makes me smile).

Anonymous said...

So true, I could have been that woman too. I think it's our age. At this point in life you start to reflect on the things you have done up to now and things you didn't do and that will never be. Not really knowing what is missing and what you want. It will come to us, I'm sure of it !!!!!

A bird in the hand said...

For years I felt an inner yearning/sadness, one I described to a therapist I was seeing as a kind of "nostalgia/homesickness." After many discussions, he identified it as an "empty space" in me that I was trying to fill, things in my past that I needed to heal so as to move forward. I made peace with those past events by looking at them, acknowledging them, meaning I realized and accepted I could not "fix" them since they were no more. These journeys take time, but we do get there. xoxo

amelia said...

This is beautiful and very, very true!!

Lady Laurie said...

Happy to see you are feeling a bit better. You don't know how many times I have wanted to delete my blog. I think sometimes I only keep it up because my Mom loved it and that I called myself Lady Laurie. She was taught me to look at the bright side of things even when that doesn't seem possible.

Anonymous said...

Glad you're feeling a little better.

Krissie said...

OH MY GOD>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bird in the hand has got the feeling exactly as I feel it!! wow that is powerful stuff about an empty space.I am now wondering how this relates to me. Off to think. Thank you so much BITH for that insight. Its helped me...what else did that thereapist suggest for it? I am, so interested you too Robyn?

Gemma said...

Well I can say that I understand the disconnectedness....I feel that way sometimes....I march to my own drum beat...Also there are times when I feel connected to it all! Guess I'm trying to say that I can relate to this Robyn....
probably you are normal LOL

Bimbimbie said...

I'm beginning to think it's an age thing too a re-wiring of our brain and something within. I know I sometimes look back to those early teenager years when those hormones rushing around made me feel unsure but loud now these hormones have me feeling introspective and quiet *!*

..... I just remembered something Eric Idle said in his interview about religion - that to early man the night sky, the mystery of the cosmos as we know it was "God" but then along came the churches and places of worship and they put roofs on blocking that connection.

Jeanne said...

Love and hugs