come 2010

I will be back come 2010...
my birthday, the very first day of the year, the year I turn 52.
The year that I have deemed the one that I will find the Sacred in My Ordinary ...finding beauty and soul in the little things at Inglewood to share here..
my birthday Jan 1st... when the Moon comes into Fullness at the EXACT, same moment that I came into the world 52yrs ago.....

I have decided to take an extended break from Inglewood. Most probably until next year.
I can feel myself slipping into a state of depression and it terrifies me as usually I am a strong person, emotionally and mentally. The past month has pushed me over the edge. I need to find my way through this.

if you would like me to visit your blog please leave a comment here and I promise that I will come by and visit from time to time..

otherwise, please feel free to email me if you would like to keep in touch.

I am also on facebook, a place that I look upon as being totally silly and pointless - a place to escape the madness that is life.

see you when I get home!

tomorrow, Dutch husband and I leave for our two week adventure riding around Tasmania.

I have decided to leave the laptop at home and just enjoy the holiday for me.. sitting on the back of the Harley getting into the Zen zone....

catch up with you all when I get home!

Mother Mary come to me ~ speaking words of wisdom ~ Let it Be

picture from gnostic.org
this morning as I sat journalling, trying to sift through a whole gammut of emotions and thoughts, words tumbled from my fingers. Words that I knew were not mine...

"we are all waiting to help you ~ pray ~ and give us energy to open up the lines between us ~ praying raises your energy vibration, bringing you close to us. In praying you must allow yourself to let go of your problems, if you hold onto them it hinders us in our mission to help you. The ancestors and spirit guides have you surrounded and believe us when we say there is a beautiful future ahead of you. Look at everything through the eyes of love"

and as I sat writing in my journal, I was told to help my adrenals with amazonite.. to lay the stones over my adrenal glands to bring them back into a healthy balance. Looking them up in my book of stones, confirmed that what I had been told was correct and surprisingly, these are some stones that I have in my collection. I am being helped from beyond. I know it.

When I sit in front of the altar and pray, I see a blue flame within my heart chakra.. is that Mother Mary? or is it my inner altar that Ruth talks of?

This life change has bought many past issues up for me and even though I am in a sheer state of fear and panic for my son, I know that I am surrounded by my ancestors and being guided by them. I have felt the presence of some of my ancestors this past week.. I am trying to let go and detach.. I have always felt the need to be in control and I do believe that life is showing me that it is not possible.. so I am on a learning journey of letting go... Let it Be

a mothers heart-ache while being surrounded by roses

Queen Adelaide rose ~ one of the first 'royal' roses that I planted. The perfume is divine..
I woke this morning knowing that i must try to get my life back to some kind of normalcy.. to take myself in hand and create that sacred haven I had until last week. I am driving my self nuts with the constant worrying & fretting.

But how does a mother separate herself from her son's pain. Could Mary do it? I look at the photo from my post a few days ago and realize that she felt her son's pain just as I am feeling my own son's pain. I feel grief just like she did. I sit near my son and feel his heartache washing over me, consuming me and I don't walk away. I cannot separate myself from his pain, I am taking his pain on. But how does a mother separate herself from the hurt that one of their children are feeling? is it possible? .. when you have children your emotions no longer stop at yourself - they stretch around your children, wherever they are. It is amazing, and beautiful, and it can tear your soul at times. It is a special bond, and I don't think that even Fathers feel the same thing (words of a wise friend). He wanders around our home, lost, displaced from a family that he adored, wondering what life is all about. I want to put a bandaid on his hurt and kiss it all better.. and tell him it is ok, that mum will fix it for him. But I can't. there is not a thing I can do except let it all take it's course and allow him to go through the process of all the emotions. Knowing that it will all work out in whatever way it is meant to...and I know I must look after myself. My adrenals are shot to pieces right now. I must begin to nurture myself too.

Queen Elizabeth rose ~ a favourite of my Dad.
I sat this morning journalling my thoughts, trying not to rehash what has happened over and over. I don't want to continue giving it energy that I really don't have. Sitting contemplatively, looking out onto my garden.. the roses kind of made their presence known to me. Standing out, to remind me that I am never alone that Mother Mary is with me always. I have felt comfort from her presence this past week, having my rosary beads in my pocket and touching them whenever I needed some solace...

Our family changed last week and whether we like it or not.. that is the fact of the matter. My spiritual life came to a grounding halt. Going from a Sacred ritualistic day to nothing. No morning blessings, no cleansing & protecting my aura, no meditation. And I know that I must return to this as it is so very important to me.

when I sit and look out my window, this rose takes me to an English garden.. even though I have never been there
So today, I reorganise my home around so that I can do my prayers and blessings in the privacy of the little room that I call Sacred Space. Usually I did this in front of my main altar in my dining room, but now, I feel like I am exposed, or rather on show, so I must take myself to a private place. I know that I must spend time in my garden ~ the peace and tranquility that I find there will be balm for my soul..

"Comprehend and know, my youngest child,
nothing should scare or concern you.
Don't worry.
Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety or pain.
Am I not right here who is your Mother?
Are you not under my shadow and protection?
Am I not the foundation of your being
your sustenance, your happiness, peace and effortlessness?
Are you not in the fold of my mantle?
Do you need anything else?
Don't allow anything to disturb you any more."

Mary the Virgin of Guadeloupe to Juan Diego, December 12, 1531
right now, my heart is breaking in two as I watch my son, my first born, go through the absolute raw grief of a marriage breakup. I sit each morning, watching him get ready for work, worried that he may do something silly.. worrying throughout the day, constantly. There is nothing I can do except grab tightly to Mother Mary's mantle and be consoled by her peace.

at times like this, I always seem to turn to Mary.. last night, I fell asleep clutching my rosary beads to my heart... just wishing She could take the pain in my heart away.

is there hope for reconciliation in the marriage? I don't know.. at this moment, my focus is getting him through his grief. Time will tell what happens elsewhere.
I ask each one who visits me here, to wrap him in a cocoon of love...

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to you do I come, before you I stand, sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.

Heaven was missing an angel... a faery tale come true ~ my time at the Manor Ball.

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
when Pam first invited me to THE MANOR BALL, I had absolutely no idea who to ask, until John Lennon contacted me and said he had heard that I needed a partner and he was willing to come back from Spirit just to accompany me!! i was in heaven, let me tell you.

I cannot believe it. he also said that i was not to worry my pretty little head, about what to wear as a dress was on its way to me at that very moment. All I had to do was worry about my hair!! My youngest daughter Sophie is truly a hair dresser extraordinaire.. and she styled my hair like this..

perfect for the flower child that I am

the dress arrived late yesterday and when I opened the silk lined box, I was in awe of what John had chosen for me.. it was perfect. He knows that I am not into pomp and ceremony and we all know that he does not give a damn about rules and regulations...

I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people.
so he chose a dress that is nothing like the normal ball gowns..and I am honoured that someone as wise as he is , knew exactly what I would want to wear...

You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!
quickly dabbing Patchouli oil behind my ears, I stepped out of the door.. to see what had arrived to take me to the Manor Ball:

oh, my. I giggled like a school girl as I climbed in beside John. He had a grin from ear to ear..and as he leaned over to kiss my cheek, he handed me something to remember him by..


All we are saying is give peace a chance
as we arrived, we could hear strains of music..would you believe if I told you that the Beatles actually reformed?


oh and they had a little help from their friends, too.

food was simply elegant. simple as in organic, fresh and simply prepared. elegant in presentation. Jesus even arrived to turn the water into wine!!! And of course it was organic.


I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind
the venue was absolutely divine... no pomp and ceremony.. just simple candles, flowers and pure magick.. I felt like Cinderella or maybe I was really in heaven and this was all a dream.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
all the words in italics are taken from those words that John spoke throughout the night...

what wakes me each morning, lately & I am so excited, I am off to a ball !!

"INGLEWOOD" ~ home of my heart. a place where I can escape the madness of the world. a place that cocoons me in peace, love and security
this is the front of my home.. steps lead up to the front verandah. two gargoyles scare evil spirits away.

"SOPHIE'S WALK"the side path - you can just see a window on the right.. this is my art studio.

another view of my front garden, overlooking the pool. The large birdhouse was made by dutch husband for my 40th birthday - a copy of one found in the UK.

during spring and summer here at Inglewood, I attend a concert each morning. I am woken by the chorus of our magpies, carolling. they are nesting at the moment and it is like they are singing lullabies to their babies...
I took a video with my new camera ~ still learning all about that so I hope it works for you as I would love you to know just how beautiful my life is here in Woodford:
Magpies carolling at Inglewood(follow the link)
this was taken from my outside deck.. at about 7am.. it had been raining all night and the blue sky was beginning to peek through..make sureyou have your sound on!! (and if you enjoy that, I will try to take some while walking around my garden and home! - like I said, still learning though)

the atmosphere around here has been odd to say the least, especially after that stupid attack on the Moon.. yesterday while I worked in my garden, I could feel a very odd energy, still & quiet... like Mother Earth was resting after a traumatic experience.. maybe She has picked up on our distress??
But as I garden, I came to yet another phase of peace... it seems to be up & down for many of us lately... so at least I know I am in good company with many of my soul sisters around the globe.. thanks for holding my hand!

and my friend Pam has invited me to a Ball. Manor Ball. She has a spare ticket for me & a partner..will tell all on Tuesday!

question mark ?

what the hell is going on? I have heard last night that NASA is going to 'bomb' the Moon with a rocket and that some idiot in Europe is going to try to split the atom(again).. neither of these actions to me, are very intelligent. Here I sit a long way from both places, cocooned in my safe little home in my safe little town, in a land that is considered very safe but, I am concerned. Not for myself.. but for Mother Earth..

Earthquakes not far from our shores are Mother Earth's rumblings of concern I am sure. What other way can she re-act to the silliness of the beings she allows to dwell on her surface? She is reacting like we do when we have an irritant on our skin.. we use lotions and potions she uses the only way she knows how, what we call natural disasters.

there is something afoot here in my country... people are out of control, in a frenzied state (I was yesterday.. ) people are angry, in a confused state, driving like absolute lunatics. Behaving like animals do when a cyclone or other natural disaster is ready to hit.. and I am wondering if we are all picking up on some kind of natural earth disaster.. with all this tetonic plate shifting in the Pacific Rim.

the Earth Healing group that I started is needed right now & if you haven't joined up please do! EARTH HEALERS

Yesterday

yesterday I closed Inglewood. I needed to gather my energies. My inner child is crying out for some comfort and I need to work on this.. I felt lost, desolate and truly soul weary. So I just closed the blog... but now.. after a few emails with friends, I know there are things that I must work through and I am going to do this here.. honestly.. funny that. Because yesterday I received an award for being Honest and I thank, from the bottom of my heart, LAOI for seeing that I am honest in my writings..

I don't usually accept awards for blogging.. for the simple reason that over the years.. I have felt left out when I didn't receive one (my inner child insecurity I think) and I hate passing them on in fear of leaving someone out and them feeling 'not good enough' to receive the award.. but now, because my inner child is hurting.. I am gonna grab this award and put it proudly on my blog - but I am not going to pass it on for those reasons I mentioned. I believe that each and every one of my friends here deserves this. we all write from our hearts and when we do that, we are being honest. well, that is my belief.

this is what the award said:
As honest bloggers we:

* Speak our truth from the heart and tell it like it is
* Share openly and honestly our true feelings without fear of judgement, Blame or shame.
* We write to share our achievements so others can also share our joy.
* We write about our bad times too, knowing that the love and support of others is around us and perhaps heal another’s pain in the process..
*We are human beings will real feelings and emotions and REFUSE to hide behind a mask.
* We dare to be different
* We are Free Spirits
* We realise that by spilling out, we lighten our load.
* We acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses and don't see them in terms of success or failure.
* We laugh together and cry together
* We are all following our own journey in our own unique way
* Above all else, we may lie on the floor, screaming and kicking, or feel like life is collapsing around us once in a while….but at the end of the day, we drag ourselves up, dust ourselves off and rise to fight another day.

For we are Warrior Women and we write not to please others, stroke our own egos or be judged, we blog because we care! Our blogs are our therapy, and through sharing SHIfT HAPPENS!

Full Moon wishes & affirmation for my week

this month has been crazy for me with various family issues... and I have realized that i need to set boundaries on just how much of myself I can give away.. I do have difficulty doing that.. i tend to give much of myself to others and end up having nothing left for myself. a product of my upbringing I guess.. but my soul journey is important to me and I am at a point where I must find a balance .. so this Full Moon I ask: to find a balance between pleasing others and staying true to my soul journey path; to honour the yearnings of my soul. This and more comes to me with perfect ease & grace..

and my affirmation for this week:
I am worthy; I love myself unconditionally and accept the energy of the Creator within my being

a virtual circle for wise, wild women.. wanting to play the wanton..(updated)

remember that virtual Circle I mentioned awhile back? I have finally created it!

circle of wise & wild women of the web

to join you will have to sign up with Ning. I have made it private as a courtesy to members, so will have to 'approve' those who join... look forward to seeing you!

and who is Ning, I hear you ask?? Ning is another social network.. easy to sign up with..

rock gathering.. signs from the otherside & the syncronicity that goes with that... a spiritual story

we have been asked to collect 5 rocks..for the Artists Way - week 6
~ something about rocks signifying abundance in our life (and if the amount of rocks I found on the weekend are anything to go by, then my life is surely abundant! ~ except I couldn't carry all those that I found!!)...

taking full advantage of my time beside the sea over the weekend.. I grabbed dutch husbands hand and we walked along the beach to the rocks.. splashing through the waves like two children and laughing ourselves silly when the waves washed up to our waists as we waded to the rock pools.... we both kept saying how the sea was good for our souls.. me collecting coloured glass and sea shells to make a wreath for the Gypsy Caravan... and dutch husband just enjoying the time spent wandering along the shell graveyard..(we call it that, because truly, there are millions of shells.. like a graveyard for deceased sea animals, who once called the shells their home)... and as I gathered, I thought of my friend Sr.K ~ across the ocean and how she gathers flotsam and jetsam for her Seahorse clay figures..and how she loves to find Hearts along the shore...and how she had a friend called Cindy who is now on the other side.. and I thought to myself.. how wonderful it would be if I could find a heart shaped stone to send to Sr.K...

and no sooner was that thought out, than I looked down and there in the sand was a stone looking very much like a heart..
I clapped my hands with delight, said thankyou to Cindy as I picked it up... putting it carefully into my hat which had now become a carry bag for shells, rocks and sea glass... on I went gathering shells and bits of driftwood and just loving walking through the cold water.. and as I gathered, I started to think about maybe the heart was a co-incidence, started to doubt and question.. and I said in my head to Cindy 'ok, just to let me know that the rock was not just a fluke, how about another?' ~ feeling a little greedy and guilty for not trusting

but as soon as the last word was out, there on the sand was another rock!!
I said a huge thankyou with my head bowed and was in total awe at that moment of my connection to the spirit world. At that moment, I felt totally at one with Mother Earth, the Ocean, the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks, the water lapping over my feet. all as one.
so on I went gathering and found a funny little spot with a spiral type pattern on the rock and knew that i had to stand there.. immediately I felt grounded. It was like a power spot for me and I got a kind of voice message/feeling that my life was on the right track, that what I was doing with my day to day life was exactly what I am supposed to be doing.. and that Spirit was always giving me messages and signs and guidance... I just had to be aware of it and have faith. believe. trust.
Honestly, sometimes when things like this happen.. makes me wonder where I have been or rather where my head has been, all this time.

I was also lucky enough to find my stick for the MinMia workshop in November.
I have been looking for the stick for ages.. we need a stick to make ourselves a story totem.. and you know how it is, once you need to find something, every stick or twig becomes 'is that it?'.. i have constantly been told during meditation that the stick will find me.. and lo and behold it did. I had completely forgotten about it and while walking on the rocks, a stick just made itself know to me, not sure how, but there it was.. perfectly twisted and turning for a life journey stick!!

a blessed and insane Spring Equinox in Woodford.

the world where i live has gone mad. today, Mother Nature is not a happy soul where I live. yesterday we were given a warning for gale force winds overnight.. what they forgot to tell us was that the wind was moving the Middle of Australia, to where I live. The middle of Australia consists of desert. red dirt. I think much of Uluru is now in our backyard pool..
not only that but severe weather in another state, bush fires in another and earthquakes in the state south of me..
here in Woodford, last night the winds were howling out of control. I thought the world had come to an end and all the demons in hell had been let loose, just like someone had predicted (I think it was John DeBosco, not sure though).. I thought those demons were having their one last chance before God pressed the delete button... but this morning, I was still alive... and when I looked out of the window, I thought that there had been an atomic bomb dropped in Woodford.. it was a very eeerie orange. yes, the sky, the air, everything was orange.. including my floors and every single surface in my home. Even the monk across the road looked more orange than usual. You see, there had been a dust storm overnight, the winds whipping up out west and bringing the red dirt into the coast via Woodford. And dumping it as it went, all over my home. The pool looks like a day spa.. all muddy.. with flower petals floating on top.. it looks like you could just jump in and have a body treatment..and of course, I am not happy. Not only does wind affect the chi energy in the body, it also governs the liver and anger.. plus, last week I did all my spring cleaning... my Spring Equinox plans went out the window .. I planned on having a lovely wander around my garden, welcoming in the Equinox but instead I vacuumed and washed floors...
but I did have a little chance to play this afternoon.. I made a Springtime crown for myself.. I just allowed myself to cut, glue, paint and decorate - I tried hard to shut my inner critic up..and now Buddha welcomes in Spring

I think I have done it! unveiling my new piece of art....

meditation is helping me alot the past few days.. either that or I am really listening to my in-tuition...
the other night I was just sitting in front of my altar, trying not to expect any ground moving moments.. just trying to focus on my breathing and stilling my mind.. when I heard 'paint your own story' and I saw, once again, the Goddess shape that I wanted so desperately to paint.. and it was all in ochre and Aboriginal style.. and I knew then, that I had been trying to paint Ruth's story..not mine. Her art was to inspire me, not for me to copy...

so I got up and sketched what I knew I had to paint, what I felt that I had to paint
and left it at that.

talking to dutch husband about his mother's art, I asked if she had ever had difficulty with water colours.. and he said he remembered her once saying it was the most difficult medium and she tried to stay away from it.. preferring to work with oils.. so that made me feel a little less incompetent.

I had been using a small set of tube watercolours and they just did not work for me.. and I remembered that somewhere,

I had a stash of dry pallette watercolours that Soph had used in high school
so I seeked them out, sat down, brush in hand and I started..

the paints flowed quite smoothly..the stress levels were still a little high, so I centred myself, put Shamanic Dream on and went with the flow of that trance music...

of course, I didn't know when to stop with the background and I am not sure if I am 100% happy with it..

and not sure if I like the pen outline that I did nor the colourful background, but it does make my soul smile when I look at it.. so I guess that is pretty good for a first attempt.

a letter from the future

the Artist's Way asked us to write a letter from our 80year old selves to our selves now... mine seems to be very wise.. so please take this letter as some wisdom from the ages.. my inner wise woman.. who is there in my future.....

Dear darling Miss*R,
here I am 80yrs old!! And I am looking back at our life and at you who is the younger me. On the threshold of your wisdom years. the first thing that springs to mind is to tell you to love yourself. that is the most important thing. each and every day, enjoy the journey ~ laugh and take time to enjoy the moment ~ don't look ahead to the future or back to the past ~ have no regrets ~ thank life experiences and let them go. Take time to listen to others but more importantly to listen to your inner voice, the intuition. and always take time to nurture and pamper yourself. forget rules and create !! write poetry, splash paint, blow bubbles, meditate. study astrology, mythology, herbs and flower essences. enjoy the study, have fun with it. visit sacred sites, hold sacred circles, go on retreat and dream. eat well, drink lots of water. love, love and love
but as it says in Desiderata
above all be gentle with yourself
may the Goddess be with you on your journey
~ much love from your older self

yes, I am willing to learn to let myself create!! of course I am..damn it!!!!

I am not going to harp on about how I can't paint.. no .. but I am gonna sift through stuff to try and work out why I have this block.. over the past week, I have had so many, many supportive emails and comments, telling me I can do it!!
yes, I know I am creative, because I created these paintings last year.. (but there was much angst in my soul as I created these)

(spiritual shrine a gift from Gemma)
give me fabric & I will create a work of art - a woollen bag, a quilt,

a cushion
give me a plot of ground

& I will make for you a Garden of Eden

or a sacred space where your soul will sigh with peace..
give me a house

and I guarantee I will create a home full of whimsy and joy

wooden spoon & mixing bowls? tagines, olive oil, parsley... give me anything from a kitchen and I can whip up a storm!
but give me paint, paper and a brush and I freeze. my mouth goes dry, my mind blank and I dither.
right, I am going to paint.. I put paint to paper, look at it, hate it and rip it up. and on and on this goes, til my rubbish bins looks like that of a frustrated writer...I have no idea whatsoever why I do this.. but I am ready to change

the voice in my head tells me to forget about.. yes, I could do that. I could ignore the urging of spirit to get this picture down onto paper out my head, I could ignore the promptings of what you call my muse - and I could do those things that I do best, but damn it, I don't want to. I WANT TO PAINT !!

I want to lose myself in watercolours. I want to see with my heart and paint from my soul... I can see in my mind what I want to paint.. but I just cannot get it down on paper...take the leap I hear you and Spirit say... *sigh* I wish it were that easy... I gotta delve into my past to see where this is coming from.. my inner critic seems to have a very loud voice.

me at 80yrs of age ~ the time traveller

travelling to the future.. here I am, 80 yrs old (no, time hasn't speeded up *well, not that much*.. this is a task for the Artist's way)...

JoiE de viVrE
I am full of love for life!! I am finally comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with my life journey, comfortable with my soul journey. During my 50's things seemed to settle down and I started to blossom. I started to come into my own power. I started to paint those soul pictures and I created pottery pieces after I took a class... I am a sprightly old thing, with a twinkle in my eye. my white whispy hair is pulled back in a bun with wisps escaping to gently frame my face, which is wrinkled from age, soft wrinkles which make people see the wisdom of the ages. I am full of energy and good health. each day I still perform little rituals to bring the sacred into my day. I bake bread and I bottle fruit. I make all my own herbal tonics, something I have done for quite awhile now, growing my own herbs as well...my garden is still a delight, the Sacred Space looks like it has been the many hundreds of years and I even have a Holy Well that Joe made for me on one of our wedding anniversaries.... he is still my rock, my soul mate.. we often sit outside sipping tea, knowing that even though our journey in this life is nearing the end, our souls will never part.....

(we had to write a letter to ourselves too.. but that is another story.)

art/manifesting/syncronicity & dreams... all part of my life right now

I don't usually buy other people's art works. Most of the bits hanging on my wall are vintage flowers or art by dutch mother-in-law..old mirrors and catholic icons or saints...

but just recently I felt an urge to buy a piece of art from a soul sister ~ Ruth wise woman gallery . Not sure why.. I tried to resist but I kept coming back.. so I followed my in-tuition, and bought it...

the other day, when it arrived in the mail, my fingers tingled when I touched it.. like an energy was being awakened.. of course, i took no notice and put it down to co-incidence...I mean, art does not make your fingers tingle.. sometimes it can make your soul sing.. but tingling fingers?? so said my sensible, worldly self....

so I put the art on my altar along with the other piece that Ruth had included as a gift for me.. (which is another story - it is a tree and she painted it at about the same time my Wise Woman group disintegrated - the group was named: The Wisdom Tree).. any how.. I put the art on the altar and promptly forgot about it.. until a day or two later when I finally found time to meditate.. and I sat on my bohemian style cushions and closed my eyes... candle flickering, incense burning and soon I was off on an adventure along a path.. I was dressed in green and I was entering a forest, then I was standing on a large rock with arms outstretched and raining down around me was stars & moons but even more odd: paints and brushes... colours. And I saw myself drawing and painting.. and then I saw what i need to draw but it worries me. It was very similar to what Ruth had sent me.. a round goddess type figure but where Ruth's are mauve, mine is green.. Ruth's arms are up, mine are down.. I have stars & moons around me and where Ruth has a spiral in her belly, mine has a light/sun... so as I meditated I pushed that away.. and got up to journal.. and I ended up drawing this figure... thinking that would be the end of it.... but no.
Last night I dreamed about this Goddess again - but this time, it was finished and framed.. in the same frame as Ruths. Side by side. around these pieces of art was a mat of vintage newspaper and in the corner.. one small ladybird...Ladybird messages is that a sign that I must do this? Or is it just my sub-concious playing on what I have seen on Ruth's blog? I don't know

I desperately wish to paint and draw - but it was never ever encouraged when I was a child. My parents were not creative. Hell, we didn't even have a thing hanging on our walls.. not one painting or piece of art. Not one....

another thing I wish to do is learn pottery and this is how the manifesting and syncronicity come into my post... I am working through the Artists Way and the other day we had to write down what we think it would be fun to learn.. I didn't get to write a list at the time, but I thought to myself I would love to learn pottery. ( I so much wish to create a bowl for my upcoming MinMia Workshop...).. no sooner had that thought gone out then I opened our local paper and there in the public notices was an add for Pottery classes, not far from my home, affordable, perfect time !!!! so it seems I am manifesting as I think. .. which also means, that I must be very careful and aware of what I am thinking

and of course, with this post - I expect wisdom from my Blogging Circle of Wise Women - maybe we could have a name: the Web Circle of Wise & Wild Women... hmm, let me know what you think of this idea....a little button could be created I am sure.

no reading??? oh lord

'we gobble the words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own'
not sure if many of you know, but I am working through the Artists Way with a group of online fellow searchers... this week we have been instructed by Ms. Cameron herself to deprive ourselves of reading.. simply I said to myself... easy peasy.. til the voice of my conscience mentioned blogs... surely not I said .. blogs are ok...until I visited my dear soul sister Gemma:no reading - the voice of my conscience in writing... so from now until next Wednesday I am not visiting blogs... I am already starting to have panic attacks.. like a crack addict without a next hit.. but deep down, I know it will be good for me - because I know that I get lost in reading about other peoples lives, its fun. call me a blog voyeur... I don't care, I admit I love reading about other peoples beliefs and searches. I love to see what they cook for dinner or where they go for walks.. .. but by taking a break, I will get back in touch with who I am. I can begin to meditate again, I can go for those long promised walks, hell, I might even go and buy myself that big tin of Derwent pencils that I have been promising myself for ages and take my SELF to the Everglades gardens to draw.. I just might even be able to do some shamanic art, something that i have been wanting to do for a long time..I might just sit on the swing and think. I might people watch, I might get all my parcels sent off, I might do nothing. I might smudge myself and do a chakra balance... cause lord knows, I am going to have plenty of time. (don't think I have abandoned you, I am just on a forced break for my creative soul self)

as Gemma says: wish me luck!! see you next week.

introducing a new little member..

Charlie Alexander ~ half an hour old
my fourth grandson born Sunday, September 6th. coming into the world at a hefty 9lb 5oz...

my daughter was in labour for 8 hours and they ended up having to do an emergency caesarean section... all are doing well after the ordeal. Grandma is very tired and still sifting through my emotions.

Full Moon manifesting and the results are in!

after the folding of my Wise Women group, I sat in grief and alot of pondering and then realized it was Full Moon and remembered Jamies Full Moon dreamboards.. and decided to take the plunge and create one for myself this September Full Moon:

September Full Moon in Pisces. I ask the Universe to help me to uncover the intuition of the Ancient Astrologers that is deep within my genetic memory so that they may help me to study Astrology and learn how to apply it to my life journey. I ask that the right way is shown to me and that I see and accept that offer. Namaste.Last night, I put this board on my altar, lit a candle and put my wishes in the DREAM BOWL that I bought from Sr.K and now is gathering energy to manifest in the near future.

and my test results are back.. normal and that is over and done with for yet another year. Thankyou God.

thankyou and now the walk

Katoomba Falls... there are flocks of white cockatoos nesting at the moment and their raucous call echoes across the valley. To stand on Juliets balcony, way above these birds as they are in flight, is soul inspiringthankyou for the wonderful comments of support over the disbanding of my Soul Group. I have since read an article which helped me alot ~ (all to do with planetary goings on and ascension.. it seems that what happened to the group is happening to many and I just have to sit this out, go through the grief and trust that all is as it should be). That plus emailing a few of you back and forth.. it was like having a circle of support. For that I thank you.

yesterday, I took myself off for a walk along the cliffs of Katoomba and up to Juliets Balcony, a favourite place of mine to sit and meditate. I have been going there for a few years and yesterday, I discovered something that I had never noticed before. A clearing at the end of the balcony..as I walked around the rock, I saw an opening between the two guardian rocks and a little clearing opened up, surrounded by bush. It was if it was created just for me.
I then went past the witches leap and up alot of stone steps to another place, where I sit sometimes.. and I found an old tree that i had never noticed before and I sat down and munched on my apple, glancing around for sticks to be used as a wand and a spirit stick at my upcoming Aboriginal workshop with MinMia..

and as I looked around and up, I saw 3 trees that seemed to be my spirit guardians.one seemed to speak to me.. the one on the left, so I wandered over and stood.. taking a photo for my soul journal:

there was definately a face.. can you see it? and when I got home and uploaded the picture, there was more than a face ~ can you see the purple circle of light? This was taken with my brand new camera, a week old. Not the same one that I captured orbs with previously. Plus the light was behind me. so, it seems I have company with me all the time.