they say that selling & moving house is one of the top things on the stress list. Right up there with death & divorce. Add to that, renovating.. well as you can imagine, tempers are snapping here.. tension between the gorgeous dutch husband and moi... but they flare and go down just as quickly which is a good thing. But I tell you.. there are moments when I feel like running away. to be by myself.
*sigh* such is life.
a disorganised house with half packed boxes.. stuff in piles to go to the bin. more piles to go to Vinnies and amidst that, I am supposed to keep the housework done. I walk around looking at all I have to pack & wonder why the hell i have all of this stuff. why? why collect bits & bits & bits..
a mother who is ready to move into aged care, but there is a delay. so I have her on the phone every day telling me that her whole life has been disappointment, after disappointment.. and this delay is just another one.. she is used to disappointments.. she never expects anything else. so she tells me.
my head is going to explode.
a 21yr old daughter, who believes she is a princess and thinks that packing and moving is just going to 'happen'.
I look at the garden at Inglewood & wish i could go outside to bury my hands into the earth. But it is freezing [well freezing for Australian standards]..so I stay inside.. still feeling like I want to run away somewhere. to be alone. somewhere sacred, where I can lay on Mother Earth & be enveloped by her earthiness, by her peace & tranquility. hugged by her arms. I imagine a deep forest, where rain is falling gently & the smell of wet leaves... I just want to be there. surrounded by ancient rocks.. anywhere but here in the midst of chaos.
& have lost my wedding ring after taking it off to rub Arnica cream into my poor hands
I could cry.