how hard will it be?

to leave Woodford?
to say goodbye to Inglewood?
to close Tales of Inglewood?

Inglewood has been my heart home for 10yrs. the place where I found out I had cancer and went through treatments. the place where Sophie grew up from a girl of 10 to a young lady of 21- the place where my eldest daughter was married from. *wedding day*
the home which saw the birth of three of my grandsons.
the place where I started to blog at Daily parcels *cleaning timber floors* ..[how did I know back then that I would be needing a recipe for a wooden floor cleaner?]..Daily Parcels was a simple blog..my very first...
my home Inglewood: where I 'met' my online friends, where I lost & grieved for Daisy...
& what will I miss about Inglewood? I will miss the garden, the changing seasons. I will miss the birds: currawongs, choughs and my friend the Magpie with the sore foot. I will miss how the home wraps itself around me every time I walk through the door.

Woodford is a glorious mid mountains village. not much here except a post office. the general store closed years ago. 10 yrs in a life of a village in the mountains is alot these days. the roads have got busier and now there is a highway being built across the way.
the road where I live was once dirt, now it is kerbed and guttered.
next door to Inglewood where once stood a vacant block of land is a new home. *save faeries*
a home where city folk have moved. those kind who use airconditioning instead of wood fires to keep warm.
so much has changed.
what will I miss about Woodford? I will miss seeing a trickle of smoke coming from someone's home in winter time.. I will miss the eccentricity that is Woodford. the climate that is Woodford. I will miss the chilly cold days.. I will miss the mists that Woodford is known for. I will miss the magick of Woodford

and this beautiful blog. the blog where I moved to when Daisy died. where I have bared my heart and soul. .. will be sad to leave.. but it is really the end of this chapter in my life. I have grown alot. still searching, but a soul peace has settled over me. thank God....
[i may be without internet service for a time (dutch husband is organising the disconnection today).. not sure how long.. when I come back, I will be at Villa Maria full time - both online and in real life]

we move on Friday

yes, this Friday, the removalist truck will come and take all the large furniture to Villa Maria. Friday night will be our first night in our new home..

I am at the last of the packing.. you know all those bits that you really don't know if you want to keep or not. so you put them into a pile in the middle of the floor, stepping around and over them. trying to ignore they are there, but all the while knowing you will have to deal with it eventually.

I play on facebook for a little light relief and go to Avis & Bills place for a cup of tea and a break.

My spiritual life is suffering. badly. I am not taking time to sit in silence. I feel completely disconnected from the Divine. I am a mix of emotions - excitement & sadness. But most of all I am tired. absolutely exhausted.

forgive me for not visiting your blogs..

if I don't see you

at the moment, I am overwhelmed. with packing & renovating, cleaning & trying to stay sane amidst chaos.. burning lavender oil but no music because my iPod is down at Villa Maria

I wander around from room to room, trying to find a starting place.. overwhelmed with the mammoth task ahead of me, trying to keep Inglewood tidy so that my mind doesn't feel like a jumble sale... and I am tired. over whelmingly tired.. so if I don't visit.. you will know where to find me... amongst the boxes & tissue paper sound asleep.

[I am still blogging sporadically here.. and at Villa Maria as things get done.. but visiting even more sparsley. for this, I am sorry. *and I found my wedding ring, tucked under a little crevice in my lounge chair.]

tempers run high, lost things ..oh my ~ telling it how it is in my life today.

they say that selling & moving house is one of the top things on the stress list. Right up there with death & divorce. Add to that, renovating.. well as you can imagine, tempers are snapping here.. tension between the gorgeous dutch husband and moi... but they flare and go down just as quickly which is a good thing. But I tell you.. there are moments when I feel like running away. to be by myself.

*sigh* such is life.

a disorganised house with half packed boxes.. stuff in piles to go to the bin. more piles to go to Vinnies and amidst that, I am supposed to keep the housework done. I walk around looking at all I have to pack & wonder why the hell i have all of this stuff. why? why collect bits & bits & bits..

a mother who is ready to move into aged care, but there is a delay. so I have her on the phone every day telling me that her whole life has been disappointment, after disappointment.. and this delay is just another one.. she is used to disappointments.. she never expects anything else. so she tells me.

my head is going to explode.

a 21yr old daughter, who believes she is a princess and thinks that packing and moving is just going to 'happen'.

I look at the garden at Inglewood & wish i could go outside to bury my hands into the earth. But it is freezing [well freezing for Australian standards]..so I stay inside.. still feeling like I want to run away somewhere. to be alone. somewhere sacred, where I can lay on Mother Earth & be enveloped by her earthiness, by her peace & tranquility. hugged by her arms. I imagine a deep forest, where rain is falling gently & the smell of wet leaves... I just want to be there. surrounded by ancient rocks.. anywhere but here in the midst of chaos.

& have lost my wedding ring after taking it off to rub Arnica cream into my poor hands
I could cry.