"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

3 years ago

3yrs ago
Daisy came to visit me in my dreams.. I saw her standing beside my bed as if she was at the beginning of a road, her hair was blowing gently in a wind and she was surrounded by a white mist..
little did I know where that road was taking her.. until I woke and turned on my computer.. reading frantic email after email from friends telling me to go to her blog.. some saying how sorry they were.. and of course, what had happened, was that my best friend, my soul sister, one of my tribe had passed away during the night. I was absolutely gutted.. at that time I was prepared to fly to the funeral.. but looking back, I am so glad that I didn't.. I spoke to her daughter Sweet-Pea on the phone a few times during that week .. grasping at straws trying to make sense of it all.. it was surreal. 3 years have passed..

oneday, i am going to visit Daisy's family at Dene Cottage.. where I will meet her new baby grandson, Oliver.

it has been a long, long grieving process for me and I am still not 'there' yet.. nearly every single day i think of her - sometimes with such a raw grief that it is like yesterday..

a week or so after Daisy died, I stopped blogging at Wednesdays Child and moved to Tales of Inglewood.. where I went through alot of 'morphing' to where I am today. I still miss her many daily emails, I still miss her Sabbat gifts. I just miss knowing she is there... but good always comes from sad.. and I have met other new friends.. and cemented quite a few others to a lovely strong friendship.. and to each and every one who visits here, I say thankyou.. for being here for me when I have needed you.
grieving for Daisy ~ oh god I miss her blog posts

today, I have felt lost and an underlying sadness is in my soul.. I fight that sadness.. but all I feel like doing is sobbing.. I pour a bath and sit, tears trickling down my cheeks.. how long does grief last ?


Lisa said...

I can feel your grief. I think with folks like Daisy, whose spirits are so huge, grief can take quite some time. Love you.

~Sheila~ said...

This brought that time back for me.
It was such a shock to us all.
She organised so many events and at that time I think it was favourite poems from childhood.
She is missed still.

Diva Kreszl said...

oh sweetie, I am so sorry that you lost such a dear friend but it would seem by your dream that she is still with you, watching over you, your own personal angel. Grief can take a very long time and when we think we're over the worst of it, it sneaks up from behind and takes us unaware. Try to remember that Daisy wouldn't want you to be sad, she'd probably tell you to enjoy each day for the gift it is.

amelia said...

It's hard to believe that it was three years ago already!
I didn't know Daisy too well but I knew you loved her a lot and that you still miss her terribly.
Time doesn't always heal but time is a friend who does let us carry on with our lives after a while.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hugs to you today. Three years is like a blink of an eye in the big scheme of things, really.

Angela said...

Hello, sweet lady. I don't get much computer time these days, but I wanted to stop by and let you know I think of you often and still cherish each item you sent me while I was in treatment. I hope to be blogging more soon and better able to keep up with you! Much love.

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

{{{hugs}}} Robyn♥ xxxx Linda

Wendy said...

Three years already? Can't believe it. Too bad I didn't know her. But I feel as if I did through your writings, Robyn. She is not gone, only transformed.
Blessings and hugs

Janet said...

I thought of you this morning when I saw the date. Daisy was such a special person and even though I didn't know her as well as you did, we still had our friendship and our emails and such. I miss her blog posts and her stories. We all hold Daisy in our hearts and in our memories.

gemma said...

We learn to live with sorrow. Most times we find joy to balance it.

laoi gaul~williams /I\ said...

oh robyn {hugs}

Anonymous said...

thinking of you

Pam said...

I don't think grief ever really goes away Robyn. It's a matter of adapting to it, working around it, living with it as best we can. I remember your posts at the time. Along with joys, there's been much over the years that has not been easy for you, and I think you have dealt with everything admirably, which is why I think it's necessary to allow relief through tears.Daisy would understand, as do we all here, but she would want you to be happy sweet lady, even though you miss her terribly.I understand how hard that is. Much love to you and a big hug, when at times like this the going gets

kim said...

I remember I had just sent her an e-mail and she responded. And then you posted the news a few days later.

I never got to know her as you did. As Lisa said, I can feel your, grief even today. It is so hard to lose someone that you have connected with like that.

And my words still seem to be empty. It is too hard to express how I feel for you.


Moonroot said...

I cannot believe it is three years already.Like others here, I didn't know Daisy but felt I did through your writing about her.

Ruth said...

I think a kind of grief is always there when you have known such a close friendship. But gradually it metamorphoses into a stange and beautiful joy, becasue the dead are all around us. They do not really go away.