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"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)


Friday, 5 March 2010

to everything there is a time and a purpose

my appointment today with the breast specialist ~ I am now booked to have a hook biopsy done on the 18th March [the day before dutch husband & my anniversary] ~ then it will be another week until I find out the results.

no use pretending that i am ok about all of this, because I am not. I am damn scared. I try so very hard to be positive but there is this little voice inside me that keeps wondering 'what if'... I am going through a gammut of emotions. crying, sobbing at times. then I realise that I have not been told I have cancer.. then the voice says 'yet'... then I remember that the odds of it being cancer are slim, then the 'what-ifs'. then I am off again, crying. then I calm down. I am scared.

there is a lesson to be learned here for me somewhere... I know it. I know that i must slow down, I must take time to do some yoga everyday, to walk more, to sit with spirit more. i must make time for all of this. I simply must.

many of you who read here are healers and I ask for healing to be sent to me.. many pray.. prayers said for me too ! anything that you do for me please let me know in a comment as I am going to print them out and carry them with me in a pouch.. so I am surrounded constantly by your energies of healing.
but oh how I just wish that you, my blogging buddies were here with me at Inglewood, to hug me.

21 comments:

mxtodis123 said...

What you are feeling now is normal. This waiting is just plain awful. Why make someone wait so long? To me, that's just callous, but that's what our medical care has come to. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Crying is good for you. It's very healing.
Mary

Carol H said...

please know that I have you in my Rosary prayers, being scared is normal and I know the waiting is horrible. Put your fears into God's hands and know the angles are all around you giving you angel hugs and so am I. stop by and visit soon,
www.blog.carolannsgallery.com

Carol H said...

please know that I have you in my Rosary prayers, being scared is normal and I know the waiting is horrible. Put your fears into God's hands and know the angles are all around you giving you angel hugs and so am I. stop by and visit soon,
www.blog.carolannsgallery.com

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hold on tight while you're riding the emotional rollercoaster! Here's a virtual ((hug)) for you!

Diva Kreszl said...

continuing to hold you in my prayers dear one! worry accomplishes nothing, it simply robs today of it's joy. nothing has ever been changed due to worry so let it go and give it to God!

Fire Byrd said...

Thing is we are with you. Our hearts love soars across the seas and land to hold your hand or hug you whilst you're scared. To cheer you on when you can cope. Love is circumnavigating the globe to reach you and hold out it's care for you dear friend.
xx

spirit said...

In those quiet moments of waiting 'what ifs' can be so frightening. Just to let you know i'm here praying for you and sending healing positive thoughts and hugs xxxx

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

We are there with you, darling. We really are. {warm sisterly hug}

Moncha said...

I'm thinking of you Robyn and sending positive, healing thoughts your way !!!
Hang in there !!

Angela said...

I'm praying. I have the linen hankie you sent set up with a little shrine to the earth and the goddess. You have something coming in the mail that is blessed with a lot of love. Hold tight, my dear. It ain't over yet.

Janet said...

I wish I could be there at Inglewood to give you a hug but I'm doing the next best thing....I'm keeping you in my thoughts daily and sending you lots of positive vibes.

A bird in the hand said...

Waiting is stressful. Take deep breaths when the what-ifs start nipping at your mind. I think of you in my nightly prayer for my family and friends to be safe and well.
xoxo

gemma said...

I will eMail you a picture of your prayer flag, words and intentions.
xx

Jackie said...

I wish I could take away the fear and uncertainty for you. Big Hugs and Im thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.
Jackie

DollyLo418 said...

Many prayers from me and my three kitties in Tennessee!

Wendy said...

Lots and lots of cyber hugs, Robyn. Think positive. Think healthy breast, healthy breast, healthy breast. Your body is free and clear and happy.

We are all here for you, Robyn - your blogging sisters. Sending you lots of healing white light, as we wait together.

Pam said...

Dear Gemma gave me an idea about the prayer flags recently and hope she does not mind if I join in too, making these for you.Of course she won't mind - we are your sisters here who love you and our prayers reach out. Stringing the little flags up for you now as we speak. Will send you the photos tonight. The playful wind is making them dance. Imagine the winds of hope and care travelling across our broad land, the heated plains of South Australia, all the way to where you are dearest Robyn. Sit quietly outside to let the loving thoughts from us reach you, and catch the breeze whispering that we are in fact there with you through all of this. xxxxx

Linda said...

Still praying and wishing that everything goes well for you Robyn♥

Tina said...

This waiting must be so awful. I do so much understand how scared you are. But I am sure you will get good news! My thoughts are with you and I would so much love to be right there to hug you in real.

It's ok to cry said...

I am thankful you found my blog as well as me finding yours. My heart is with you as I myself continue to find the journey is alot of wait. I feel that us facing this horrible monster within must be true to ourselves or else we are not true to those around us..You have enspired me just by finding me and I believe we will become good friends...You have my prayers..always Judy

Kori said...

I'm playing catch up on my blog reading and I saw this is several days old. I hope by now you have gotten some news back. My thoughts and prayers are with you! I hope you will be healthy! Good luck with your new home!

(((HUGS)))
Kori