my appointment today with the breast specialist ~ I am now booked to have a hook biopsy done on the 18th March [the day before dutch husband & my anniversary] ~ then it will be another week until I find out the results.
no use pretending that i am ok about all of this, because I am not. I am damn scared. I try so very hard to be positive but there is this little voice inside me that keeps wondering 'what if'... I am going through a gammut of emotions. crying, sobbing at times. then I realise that I have not been told I have cancer.. then the voice says 'yet'... then I remember that the odds of it being cancer are slim, then the 'what-ifs'. then I am off again, crying. then I calm down. I am scared.
there is a lesson to be learned here for me somewhere... I know it. I know that i must slow down, I must take time to do some yoga everyday, to walk more, to sit with spirit more. i must make time for all of this. I simply must.
many of you who read here are healers and I ask for healing to be sent to me.. many pray.. prayers said for me too ! anything that you do for me please let me know in a comment as I am going to print them out and carry them with me in a pouch.. so I am surrounded constantly by your energies of healing.
but oh how I just wish that you, my blogging buddies were here with me at Inglewood, to hug me.