"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Monday, 28 April 2008

pondering, wishing and healing.

I have been away. I went to the gypsy caravan over the past weekend and feel refreshed and less exhausted and I have changed.

I have been pondering and to be truthful, sometimes my thoughts astound me. I have been taking time to mark the changing of the seasons ~ the leaves here at the moment are breathtakingly divine.. sometimes I gasp at the colour! the air is crisp and sometimes, I can smell woodfire smoke.. I love it! The first snow drop has burst from the ground...this sign always heralds the start of my cold weather. Today dawned really cold, with a gale wind coming of snow. I lit my fire, just thinking of my ancestors doing the same many years ago.

I have been reading a book that has helped me in a way that I didn't think would happen ~ about a young girl during the plague of the 16th century, she helped to heal with herbs and was a village wise woman... when the plague broke out she scrubbed her home, cleaning it just like I do mine.. she placed rosemary and lavender around her home to purify it and talked of many different herbs and potions and I thought to myself 'that could have been me'. The book helped me to realize that scrubbing my home is ok. You see, many have made fun of my obsession with cleaning my home. I love it to sparkle and have always had a routine but always felt a little odd being like this but to read that centuries ago, a girl like me may have scrubbed like I do.... well, it just helped me alot. Today, I scrub my bathrooms with a new energy, and then I will cut myself some rosemary and lavender and hang it over the bath, to infuse the hot water when the taps are turned on.

I have realized that now is important not the past or the future... the past has made me who I am and the future...well we shall see. I realized that I am an earth healer, maybe an alchemist... and all those workshops that I have done over the past years, all the walking that I do, all the gardening and composting... is healing our earth with my energy. And I am happy that I can do my little bit to help. we must.
the perfume that I mentioned is still here. The most exquisite, un-earthyly smell. Is it Daisy? Is it my ancestors? Mary Magdalene? I guess I will never know, but each time I smell it, I just say a quiet thankyou, knowing that I am not alone.

I decided to stop fighting where I live. To stop wishing I lived in the UK. My homeland here is a gorgeous ancient land and for me to grow, I need to embrace it with both hands, my heart and my soul... and I know that I can do this and I will most probably uncover the mystery of why I am here.

I have decided to work on my own health, using tinctures and decoctions, salves and poultices. Using my own herbs. But to do this, I must research a little. I don't want to go and get a degree in herb science. I don't want to do biology. I want to heal with herbs as I did many lifetimes ago. Simply. No degrees, no tests, just learning with delight. So I am going to put it out there and believe that my ancestors will guide me to the right person who can help me with this.

Tonight I begin a six week art workshop ~ called 'Paint your canvas' - a group of women will get together and share their journey through art... I cannot wait.. this is something that I have been wishing for, for along time.

so here I am dear friends, back to blogging - different but the same.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

taking a break

I need to take a break. I am tired... I am not depressed but just this physical tiredness has overcome me the past week or so. I think the past year is catching up ~ Daisy's death, Mum, Christmas, being the shoulder for everyone.... and I need to rest. I need to look after myself so that my immune system does not get depleted again. I can't bring myself to blog or even think about visiting other blogs. All I want to do is nest. I want to go through my home, room by room and have a good sort out. I want to weave magick into my home. I want to create meals and be in my garden... truthfully, I may be away a day, a week or a month. I just don't know but I do know I need to take the pressure of myself with blogging. Plus, the past week, I keep smelling this gorgeous 'perfume' around me. Not all the time but it is the most exquisite waft and I don't know what it is.. sometimes I think I am imagining it but then I smell it again. Daily. I want to sit and discover what it is.
so my friends, I am off on a 'pilgrimage' I guess... stay well. xoxo

Thursday, 10 April 2008

connecting - the autumn part of my self

I woke early this morning, wondering why I didn't have alot to say here on my blog. Then I realized that my body is going through the autumn... settling down in readiness for winter. I felt a very real connection with Mother Earth - the Goddess. This connection started a few weeks back. Remember when I mentioned Mary Magdalene and how I felt her presence? well, I am sure my settled-ess, my satisfied feeling, my contented-ness is due in part, a big part, to her. I am part of the Mary Magdalene clan, part of her tribe, I am sure of it. My great-grandmother Laura, my cornish connection is also a Magdalene. I just know it...... and since 'discovering' this, I am feeling so much more settled. It is like my search has settled, the jigsaw is nearly complete. And I feel wonderful. I am content...... still wondering why the hell I am here in Australia instead of my soul home... but as dear Sr.K says : "all will be revealed"

My garden is slowing down too.. a few weeks ago, I planted parsley and lettuce and both are thriving. I have been watering them with my comfrey tea and it is certainly working and making them look healthy. My persimmon tree is heavy with fruit and the birds are enjoying it at the moment. Last week, Rudy, an old german man came by and picked a basket.. he is wonderful to talk to. So full of knowledge. He told me a few old folklore rememdies and dropped off some of his notes for me to read. Yesterday, the currawongs were in the my garden and their calls were haunting ~
Listen to the Currawong ~ I love it !!! once I hear these birds, I know that it is truly autumn and my soul feels at peace. Maybe it harks back from my life in the UK - the cold and mist.. not sure but it makes a lot of sense to me..

I am going away for the weekend for a ride on the bike... up to Morpeth, in the Hunter Valley. My maternal great-grandmother was born there and I hope to find some information.. It should be a fun weekend, hopefully it will stay dry !!

so what is it now since I visited your blog? a week? or two?..... once I have been away on the bike & blown the cobwebs away ... I will be over to visit.... then I am sure it will be back to normal to my chatty self!

Monday, 7 April 2008

this is what has been keeping me from my blog....

I am a besotted grandmother.... my daughter and her 'family' came to visit on Sunday and this darling child, looks around at something we cannot see. I am sure he is seeing his angels and guides and the look on his face is as if they are giving him instructions... and he is only 2 weeks old.... but like I said, he is a wise old soul.

I gardened alot over the weekend too, which did my own soul alot of good. At the moment, I just don't have alot to say....I have been weaving magick in my home, doing housework and enjoying my quiet self right now. My garden is slowing down a little and I noticed the leaves are starting to turn.... ahhh, those autumn faeries are getting ready for the Autumn Ball again! remember from last year?......
Autumn Ball 2007

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

continuing on through the alphabet.. my own little version

Suzie had a post the other day wish I had some words of wisdom.. that I commented on - words for her.... the post got me thinking and after a few emails between us, I realized that I am very good at giving 'advice' to others that alot of the time would help me as well, if only I would listen to my own words.....which to Suzie were "you know, sometimes I think we can focus too much on being spiritually enlightening and forget the real stuff (like salads) in our lives... the real stuff can be spiritual too, I think" and then in an email: "while creating that salad, you were in the image of the Goddess.... we are here, right now for whatever reason and I am beginning to believe that we must be 'here' in the moment... I strive hard to be spiritually enlightened by meditating etc.. but all the while, I am not in the moment doing whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. oh and while I am doing 'chores' or cooking or gardening, I feel at peace, so it must be right."....

Yesterday I spent about 5 hours in my garden, I ignored the housework and I put my boots on and got to work... I weeded, planted, raked leaves, turned compost and thoroughly enjoyed every minute, just like I am supposed to... enjoy every moment of my life.. and as I was gardening these words came to my mind:
"I love to watch the miracle of blossoms, bud & grow... I am nearer to God's heart in my garden, than any where else I know..."

each Wednesday I have been taking part in ABC Wednesday, the baby of
MrsNesbitt.... I find it difficult to follow the rules so I have opted out, I guess it is probably not fair on those people who do follow the rules if I just do my own thing... .... I think ABC Wednesday is a wonderful concept though !!!!.. I have fun walking around my garden each week, looking for bits for the letter of that week.. it gives me something to do on Wednesdays! So I am going to continue along the same lines.... my little take..... continuing on through the alphabet..we have K.....

first we have KOALA - this little one is mine... my dad bought it for me when I was about 8 or so... I remember him giving it to me and there was a big red bow around the neck... these were very popular in the 1960's and are now collectors items... it is made from kangaroo fur.. these days, they are made from synthetics and are made in China... and of course we should all be boycotting anything made in that country!! We all need to do as much as we can to let them know that the world will not put up with their inhumane treatment of the Tibetan people.

then we have KOOKABURRA... this one was my dads. It is a rattle and made from celluloid and I am guessing around 70 years old.. it is quite brittle and doesn't make a noise now but very precious to me....KOOKABURRA is an Australian kingfisher renowned for its harsh voice and call resembling human laughter.... then we have KWAN YIN..

a statue that Joe gave me for our anniversary last year... she sits in my bathroom on my altar...
next we have Harry Kewell.. who doesn't live in my home and I have never met him... but I think he is quite a 'dish'... he is an Australian soccer player who plays for the English Premier League and his surname starts with K..

but I think my own little Harry is even cuter.... and oneday, he may grow up to be a famous soccer player... when his dad was a teenager, he went to England to play for Middlesborough and could have become famous except he missed Australia.. so he came home.... my little Harry has his first soccer ball already, even if it is a soft one!
here he is at 10 days old... look at his dimples!!