pondering, wishing and healing.

I have been away. I went to the gypsy caravan over the past weekend and feel refreshed and less exhausted and I have changed.

I have been pondering and to be truthful, sometimes my thoughts astound me. I have been taking time to mark the changing of the seasons ~ the leaves here at the moment are breathtakingly divine.. sometimes I gasp at the colour! the air is crisp and sometimes, I can smell woodfire smoke.. I love it! The first snow drop has burst from the ground...this sign always heralds the start of my cold weather. Today dawned really cold, with a gale wind coming of snow. I lit my fire, just thinking of my ancestors doing the same many years ago.

I have been reading a book that has helped me in a way that I didn't think would happen ~ about a young girl during the plague of the 16th century, she helped to heal with herbs and was a village wise woman... when the plague broke out she scrubbed her home, cleaning it just like I do mine.. she placed rosemary and lavender around her home to purify it and talked of many different herbs and potions and I thought to myself 'that could have been me'. The book helped me to realize that scrubbing my home is ok. You see, many have made fun of my obsession with cleaning my home. I love it to sparkle and have always had a routine but always felt a little odd being like this but to read that centuries ago, a girl like me may have scrubbed like I do.... well, it just helped me alot. Today, I scrub my bathrooms with a new energy, and then I will cut myself some rosemary and lavender and hang it over the bath, to infuse the hot water when the taps are turned on.

I have realized that now is important not the past or the future... the past has made me who I am and the future...well we shall see. I realized that I am an earth healer, maybe an alchemist... and all those workshops that I have done over the past years, all the walking that I do, all the gardening and composting... is healing our earth with my energy. And I am happy that I can do my little bit to help. we must.

the perfume that I mentioned is still here. The most exquisite, un-earthyly smell. Is it Daisy? Is it my ancestors? Mary Magdalene? I guess I will never know, but each time I smell it, I just say a quiet thankyou, knowing that I am not alone.

I decided to stop fighting where I live. To stop wishing I lived in the UK. My homeland here is a gorgeous ancient land and for me to grow, I need to embrace it with both hands, my heart and my soul... and I know that I can do this and I will most probably uncover the mystery of why I am here.

I have decided to work on my own health, using tinctures and decoctions, salves and poultices. Using my own herbs. But to do this, I must research a little. I don't want to go and get a degree in herb science. I don't want to do biology. I want to heal with herbs as I did many lifetimes ago. Simply. No degrees, no tests, just learning with delight. So I am going to put it out there and believe that my ancestors will guide me to the right person who can help me with this.
Tonight I begin a six week art workshop ~ called 'Paint your canvas' - a group of women will get together and share their journey through art... I cannot wait.. this is something that I have been wishing for, for along time.

so here I am dear friends, back to blogging - different but the same.