"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Thursday, 9 October 2008

yes, I am back... dealing with stuff and trying to love myself (simply, the mutterings of a mad woman)

I am home safe n sound.. have been for a few days but I have been dealing with 'issues' that arose from things that happened on the trip....I don't like that I sent anger and negativity out into the Earth.... She does not need it.. there is enough grey energy around without me adding to it.. so now I must sit and meditate sending love & peace out and work through stuff. The past few days I have realized that I don't love or appreciate myself and now I am working on that as well... I am dreadfully hard on myself and it is time to cherish the wonderful person that I am... to work on and heal issues that I have....

we rode through my ancestors country.. and I truly felt them around me. It was an amazing experience to be on the back of the bike, seeing huge trees and feeling as one with them, feeling my ancestors there with me. I don't think I could ever explain exactly how it felt. Connected and belonging. I thought of my great-grandmother, Viola and how she had fallen in love with & married a fettler on the railways and was banished from the family for 'marrying down'.. I saw her as a young girl, falling in love with someone 'beneath her'.... thinking he was the man of her dreams.. sadly, he ended up an abusive alcoholic.. a very sad life for her.

all in all the time away was fun - we saw lots of gorgeous magickal rainforests, I decided to have a tattoo and am now in the process of choosing a design - heavily leaning towards a Celtic Tree of Life and maybe a small Daisy (although I think I will save that til I get to Cornwall, SweetPea had one done when she scattered Daisies ashes)..... I danced to a rock band at a night concert and ate lots of yummy food... so the time was not all bad.....

my garden here at Inglewood is an absolute delight right now... the ancient apple tree is incredible - so many blooms and the buzzing of the bees can be heard inside!!

my Rhubarb is huge right now and my citrus is also laden with flowers... my lilac is in full bloom too. I think this must be the best it has ever been. I adore the perfume of Lilac... kinda takes me back somewhere.

I am really looking forward to starting 'Soul Journey' with Jamie in November and have created a new blog for it.. will put a link soon.

My dear friend Mari-Nanci has discontinued comments :

"PLEASE READ... Thank you
Comments have been discontinued on my blogs, for a while.

I hope no one will be offended by this.

I need to spend less time on the Net. My choice.

And I couldn't expect people to comment on my blogs, when I'm not returning those comments, in their blogs. :-)"

and I am thinking of doing the same... blogging takes up alot of time and I am in Spring Cleaning & Gardening mode as well as needing to spend alot more time on my spiritual life..... still not sure what to do.... however if you come one day and find comments disabled please understand the reasons...


smilnsigh said...

Glad you had a mostly lovely time away.

Please, don't be too hard on yourself, for anything. We walk our path. Sometimes we fail at it. But then, we begin again. Always mortal. And I like it that way. {always being mortal is a comfort to me} :-)

I love lilacs too! Enjoy your beautiful Spring time for we, in the Northern Hemisphere. We enjoy our Autumn now. But know that Winter follows and we have to hunker down and get through that. To come again to our Springtime.

I wish you well with finding what is best for you, now... with your Blogging Life. I continue to be mostly happy with my decision. It was a bit hard, at first. One mises the interaction.

But I do know {from the Site Meter thing} that some people are still stopping by my 'Smilnsigh.' So that eases the possible sadness. :-)

And my Blogging Life is actually being more joyful for me! So that is what tips the scales for me.

I wish for you, to find that which will make your Blogging Life just right for you, right now.

And we can always change, can't we? We decide our own way, in Blog Land. :-)

Gentle hugs,
Miss Mari-Nanci

Anonymous said...

You know Robyn, you are loved by this community, so I'm pretty sure it would be alright with all of us if you didn't reciprocate comments but left yours open (so we can tell you how we love you :-)).

Honestly, there is enough fodder for finding obligation and guilt in a woman's life without adding blog commenting to it! No-one would think any less of you if you didn't comment back. I know I don't comment in the expectation of a return comment - this is meant to be an enjoyable pastime!

Sorrow said...

As long as you are taking good care, we shall think of you and wish you bright fairy dreams...
be good to YOU!

Winterwood said...

robyn - have a tatoo done in cornwall only - that will make the trip oh so more poignant for you and whnever you then look at your tat it will always you of your magikal trip to cornwall!

my dd had one done in europe - and although I dont part like tats..I can empathise with hers and why she had it done.... you never know maybe one day I too will have one done!! (if I'm brave enough!!)

I do also agree with the comments thing... its a trap and so is reading thru all the blogs - I'm addicted and spend far far too much time here on the net!!

Tina said...

Good to read you enjoyed most of your trip. Hope you`ll get over those “issues” soon. Don’t we all have more important things to do in our lives than blogging? I think everybody’ll understand.

Ruth said...

Hello Robyn. It sounds as if you and I are both going into a similar phase. I want to be out of doors a lot at the moment, and spend time really getting to know myself more. And I feel a bit the smae about blogging too.

Anonymous said...

Hello gorgeous one! I worked with an incredible life coach last year - she's based in Melbourne, so we did most of our work together over the phone.

Her website is

Also, so has a an eCourse that you can sign up for on her site - I also highly recommend that too.

I'll do your reading later tonight - keep an eye out for it on my blog.


Sacred Suzie said...

I am just so happy that you're back but it sounds like the time away has been intense. I often find we need time to recover from our holidays. I will be doing that all November, I leave in two days.

Whatever you need to do Robyn, we will understand.

Wendy said...

I'd looooooove to see a pic of your tatoo! Oh the Celtic tree of life sounds wonderful. I think I'd get that if I ever get a tatoo.

Poor Viola - she needed family support, not banishing, for marrying the man of her dreams. Especially since her dreams turned sour. For all that, she was your great-grandma, so must have given birth to your grandma, then your mother and then..... YOU. Good thing she did!

Ah yes, we all go through this "too busy to blog" state. And then get drawn back into it again.
It does take up time. I don't blog as often in the spring and summer either. Too much "real life" out there to live.
Beckie at Dragonflycorner blogs only once a week, as she also is feeling time constraints.

Love and hugs to you in your spiritual quest. This is valuable time you need to spend on yourself.
Blogging can wait - and I'll be happy to read your blogs when you can write them.
Blessed Bee

Pam said...

For sure I will Robyn. Good that you are back safe and sound though, and people seem to regularly take long breaks. It's all good ,as they say. Just know that it is always great to hear from you, and know that you are continuing on what is for me, a very interesting Tales of Inglewood journey.I think your garden calls...and a few more things besides.While missing you, I for one would understand completely!Having said that,you are a delight to read, you know that!

Anonymous said...

Hi Robyn,
please don't discontinue the comments. If you like reading the comments it would be something you would take away from yourself. I wouldn't mind if you didn't visit my blog, I just want you to know that I love reading your posts and love to tell you so ; )
I am really looking forward to your other blog. Please keep us posted !!
Enjoy your garden and take care of yourself.

hugs from the other side of the ocean

peppylady said...

Oh I’m sorry your having negative thoughts and energy. But least you’re aware of it.
Not saying I have any answer for you but I don’t.
I resent did the tarot cards for my self and one of the cards was four of wands which represent “completion”
In a lot away I could spit shine something and I would always in my own self come up short, not good enough.
Your lilacs are very pretty.
We’re having a great fall here in North Idaho.
I’ll be looking forward to soul journey with Jamie in November.
I hope you take a few minute and read my tarot reading of October 07. Called
Coffee is on.

tinker said...

Your lilacs are lovely, Robyn - one of my favorite scents. We all ebb and flow with life and this blogging thing - and sometimes there just isn't enough to time to comment everywhere at once. But I try to leave them whenever I can, just to let the other person know I'm still out here, reading. I hope you keep the comments open, even if you decide not to comment elsewhere for a time, so we can keep the connection open - but if you decide not to - I understand. Sending you loving thoughts~xOx

Anonymous said...

Hello Ms*Robyn, You know what? You are a wonderful person. You are a very wise soul who is very helpful and forgiving. For the many years that I have known you.. you have always put others before yourself and carried the weight of the Earth on your shoulders. Perhaps it is time to shake it all off and concentrate on what you need the most.. whatever that is. You are a truly amazing woman and I cherish having you as a friend dearly. With love, Nicole xox.

Gemma said...

Dearest Robyn, I do understand about being able to connect with your ancestors. There is a place I know in Southern New Mexico where my grandmother lived for awhile. She left a bit of herself there and I enjoy strolling up Friday Canyon with her.

Journey Through Life said...

I am also in the same place of working on loving myself and not being so hard on me. I like your meditating sending out love and peace. Let us know how you go with that.

Sheila said...

Hi Robyn, hope you are okay.
I wish I could grow rhubarb like yours, I love it.Have you ever tried strawberry and rhubarb pie...wonderful.
Sounds like the trip was good, Viola was on back of the bike with you..emotionally speaking.
Tattoo sounds interesting. Where will you have it placed..?

solsticedreamer said...

hello lovely :) good o see you back and you know what to do~what is deep in your heart and for you, not us :)

Kathryn Knoll said...

In hopes of getting a message to you... I haven't been able to pick up my e-mails or get on the net til today and this will have to be short.I have been away taking care of dad again and have not been able to e-mail on this computer. I will be back sometime on thursday the 16th of Oct. hope you get this. I send my love and lots of hugs! Sr. K