"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Monday, 18 February 2008

sacred life Sunday - one day late

yesterday, we had the baby shower for my daughter & Harry.... my mum came up for the weekend... which was wonderful... I love my mother, no doubt about that.. but she is negative and always has been and it made me realize that this is a family trait - I don't know where she got this trait from though, her mother was positive and so were both her grandmothers... i believe it is up to me to change this trait... I have grown up with negativity all my life. always as a child.. I heard from her 'woe is me' or how hard her life was... ( I do love her remember!).... and it continues through me...... more so when my mother is around me - she never says one positive word.. I asked her how she was feeling since her op - she replied: she has more energy now but she is never going to be any good at much at all.. if I mentioned someone and their health, it always came back to how badly off she was.. weather.. always negative about that - even the food.. negative because she can't eat what she wants due to her diabetes... even the new baby who is due soon.. a negative statement about that (that she won't be around much longer to enjoy him)...she even said at one time that 1. I was going to get arthritis and diabetes because it is in the family and 2. that i was going to fall off the bike and get hurt (talk about pointing the bone at someone - to this I just put protection around myself and did not accept her curse)
She drove me near insane and I must change. I cannot be like my mother.. I don't want to be a bitter old woman...I want to change - But I don't know how to do it. I don't know where to start... I am going to learn though! (any suggestions of course are always welcome) ~ I love my mother so much and it hurts alot that she doesn't enjoy her life, after the awful scare we had with her last year, I just wish she could be happy....
...anyhow this is not what my Sacred Life Sunday is about.. my sacred life Sunday is positive!!

4 weeks to go !!!! we had a little gathering of great-grandmas, great aunts & aunts.. friends....

we decided to do a brunch instead of afternoon tea - so we made miniature egg & bacon pies, zucchini slice & fresh summer fruit salad served with cinnamon & honey King Island yogurt! orange juice, cranberry juice - tea & coffee... perfect!

so there you go - my Sacred Life Sunday, one day late - and if in future I start to post in a negative way - you have my permission to point it out.. I may cry but I am willing to change! xo

oh & ps - I have done something to my left shoulder.. it could be stress but I am typing with one finger so I am a little behind in catching up on emails and comments... hopefully I can get to see a massage therapist today and will get some relief.


kim said...

You know, I love my mother, but sometimes she acts so paranoid. (Frank says Hi). Anyway, she always thinks her siblings are bashing her and talking about her behind her back and out to get her.

If one gets snippy, as siblings do, It's a conspiracy. I understand TOTALLY.

Looks like it was a wonderful party. I love you sunny yellow walls!

judie said...

Hey Robyn. Stay positive. Don't let her negativity get to you. Say a little prayer for her that she can find something in her life to make her postive and happy. xoxoxo

Krissie said...

what a lovely sunday you had! I love the blue dresser!

Lady Laurie said...

My husband's grandmother is like that, very hard to be around, which in my case I don't have to be because she doesn't like me and doesn't want me around!
Party sounded wonderful, how excited you must be about the baby ~ I noticed a picture of St. Therese on the wall, how neat!

Bimbimbie said...

Looks like you laid on a lovely spread for your daughter & Harry. You had me laughing about your mother, similar traits with my darling mum which I always forget she has until I've stepped off the plane and walked into her kitchen and then my fickle memory returns lol *!*

solsticedreamer said...

Golly i know someone like that~she is always more worse off than anyone at all and has no time for accepting other folks problems~it is always 'her'.
Robyn i too have worked at surrounding myself with protection from negative folk/thoughts, it does help!

you know i have always believed that just because we are a product of our people it does not mean we automatically take on their traits~i dont believe you will be your mother :)


kathyann said...

Robyn I totally agree with Judie's comments!
Your pary and the food looks wonderful!
Not long to go now ,once you're in the last month anything can happen but I bet you are all prepared!It We are excited for you and your daughter and can't wait to see this new addition to your famiy!
Love from Kathyann and the girls

Gemma said...

Hope little Harry got lots of nice things at the shower.
We all have positive and negative inside...the one you feed is the one that will grow....that is why we should think positive!

Kathryn Knoll said...

I have never heard of an egg and bacon pie, but it sounds yummy!How do you make it?

I think just the awareness you have and becoming conscious is a good sign for you. Once you are aware then you know you have a choice to move forward with a positive outlook. What you focus on is what you attract and enjoy. Once you are aware of the negative, then you can make a choice, without beating up on yourself. Things are not always what they seem... you see, Your mother can be your salvation. She shows you what you do not want so you can make another choice. Once my mother warned me that I, too, would become diabetic like she was and like her mother before her was. I rejected this and said "not me,I don't even like sweets!" I was so clueless about what the food I was eating was doing to make me insulin resistant and one day I, too, found out I was diabetic. Wish I was more aware back then, but, no matter, It is not the end of the world and I am becoming very creative about how to feed myself. I miss the rice and potatoes and bread, but, now I am learning to create a protein version of waffles and such. If you are aware of a negative thought you can say:" What could I create instead of this that is positive?" And when all else fails you can always draw a heart around it all and go on with what brings you joy. This was a good thought provoking post for us. Many thanks and blessings, Sr. K

A bird in the hand said...

It seems most of us grew up with negativity instead of positiveness. I've had to battle other people's negativity all my life. I'm in a much more positive frame of mind now, but I'll never understand why people are so negative, living through their wounds as it were.

Gorgeous spread, yum yum yum!


Anonymous said...

This was the post :-) It's me!!!!!

linda may said...

Yeah I identify about Mum's. My Mum lives with us now and sometimes she is soooo annoying. Even when she is doing nothing wrong. That's just her. I think if we can recognise negativity maybe we can learn from it and choose not to do it ourself. Your baby shower feast sounds great.

Gina E. said...

My Mum was a born worrier, and as a kid, I could feel myself turning into the same. When I was a teenager, I made a conscious decision that I wanted to be more like my father than my mother, so I bought all the self help books I could find (not many in those days - Norman Vincent Peale's The Power Of Positive Thinking was the big one back then) and took on all the advice they gave.
My hubby used to be very negative, and still can be, but 30 years of living with bubbly me has mellowed him somewhat! I don't allow his negativity to get me down, and I believe my positive side has helped turn him around.