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"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)


Tuesday, 19 February 2008

bare with me ~ on blogging.....

since receiving an email yesterday from someone whose blog I use to visit... informing me that she is no longer feeling the need to blog, no longer feeling the need to document her life and was going out to live life, to enjoy life.. in her words: "I am giving energy into some deep dreams of mine ~ ..... writing books, gardening and also being more conscious of my precious moments. More love, more be-ing, more allowing. Less to-do lists, less needing to be something else, less documentation.
What this means is also clearing away those things that don't nourish and give energy to these dreams of mine. One of these offerings back into the earth is releasing the need to blog. After three years of documenting my life, it is time to spend that energy in new and beautiful ways........"

and I got to thinking... why do I blog? I have struggled with it for quite awhile now and I am beginning to believe it may be an addiction. I live my life for my blog... whenever I am doing something.. I am thinking constantly of how I can 'report' this on my blog.. to make it interesting for others to read... and all the while I am thinking, I am not living the moment.. I am not enjoying that moment of my life.. I am not really present in my life. I do my housework but I am not present... not in the moment. And I fear, that this is not normal
I know my blog is supposed to be an online journal... but why not record all of my thoughts into a real journal? a real paper one.... where I sit and write my thoughts and feelings in real life.... One that I can decorate and create in, one where I can discover me.
I wake in the morning and after doing my yoga & stuff, I turn the computer on to see who has commented or who has emailed me... then I leave it on while I dash around doing chores.. all the while peeking to see if someone has emailed or commented. I am not taking time to be with myself at all. I am even beginning to wonder if blogging has something to do with my emotional rollercoaster... as I was not like this before i started blogging..... I was sensitive and a searcher but not this up & down that has been happening over the past few years.


Like I said to a friend this morning: "I love blogging.... do i walk away fully or cut down on keeping up with everyone and only visiting those I have a real friendship with? I would hate to lose touch with some.. so how to decide? I don't know.
all I know is that it takes up way too much of my time and I tend to stay on the computer or rather, leave it on, just incase someone emails me or comments... I am sure you understand.
But blogging for me is also a contact with the outside world, really. I don't have alot of close friends, I tend to be a loner so this contact is important to me..
*sigh* I need a happy medium"

or is blogging something that spirit wants me to do? Is it part of the Divine plan - getting like minded people together across the vastness of the Earth? Linking us all up in the only way possible.....Do my chatter & thoughts help someone else?
I don't have an answer... when I think of not blogging, I get a panic attack... like I am going to lose a life line.... so I truly do not know what to do.

17 comments:

amelia said...

This is probabaly one of those things that no one can help you with except remember the old saying, 'If it feels good, do it'

I guess when it stops feeling good and you are worrying about it then it's time to sit back and think long and hard about things.

There are other ways to keep in touch....by pen and paper, the old fashioned way!!!

kim said...

I love reading about my frineds lives. I guess it is because I am a loner too. Some people do both.

I know there are certain people I would hate to not hear from anymore. And I would be sad to not see them blogging anymore. You are one of those people.

I know that if you stopped, we would still keep in touch other ways. But I do enjoy your photos and quotes, and how you change things up on your blog.

I learn a lot from you and your musings. I would have to print it all off and keep it in my treasure chest, if you stopped!

But like Amelia said, there are other ways to keep in touch.

XO my friend.

Krissie said...

I'm with you on this one Robyn, last week I was ready to give it all up, and now this week I'm not so sure! I know for a fact that I do spend more time on the net than I should.
Interestingly though....I have started to journal my blog...it was on one of those blogger pages/challengs... and I thought what a good idea..we are already writing stuff about our life, so all you do is print the post out and paste it into a real book/journal and then you can sit tehre decorating it! and if blogger goes bung as it has done, remember my fiasco with images?..then you wont worry as you already have it in your real book. Maybe you already do this?
I dont read the paper in the morning I read blogs...so much more exciting than a punch of political stuff!!!! keep at it dont you dare give up!!!

Gemma said...

Actually Robyn, You can do both. Have soul caring time, do your rituals,meditation, reading, writing, art... share any or all on your blog if you want. I think there is a balance and you can find it. Remember to take care of yourself first! Be good & true to yourself! Love yourself! Personally I enjoy blogging, have met some awesome people here and you are one of the most amazing !
Love you!

Sheila said...

Hi Robyn, sorry I have not been around much lately. I agree with everything you say about blogging. All I can say is that if people who come here are real friends they will understand. You don't have to be with someone 24/7 to be friends. My best and oldest friend I have had for 43 years, and I haven't seen her for the last 15 of those years.We live an ocean apart now. We write occasionally, share life's milestones, and know we are there for each other. I have cut back on blogging for the reasons you give, and I'm still trying to find balance. I'll let you know if I find it. Meanwhile whether I stop by or not, you know I am your friend..!
hugs
xx

Leanne said...

I was the same last week Robyn, needing to taker a break, but then been touched by all the caring messages i got, and realising the blog is a good vent for me, a good distraction from problems. I do keep a paper copy of my blog though, i print it all out to keep as a record for me, a paper diary of sorts. i would be so upset if my bloghost crashed or failed and all my blog entries were lost, so i have a copy, over 500 pages!

Hope yuo asre ok, and thank you for the email. my sprits are still so low, but we get through these times because we have to.

Leanne x

Ruth said...

I find that the thing is just to blog when you feel like it - don't let it take over completely. It can get very time consuming, but then again, as you say, it's a great way to make friends and keep in touch ;-) Maybe you could try only blogging on certain days, and having definite days off?

mrsnesbitt said...

We are very issolated and I appreciate the community of my blogging friends. Many like you I have known for quite a while. I tend not to blog every day but do look forward to our Wednesday ABC! I am just sorting mine out for tomorrow.

Hugs as ever.
Dxxx

solsticedreamer said...

like Kim i am a loner and peoples blogs are a way for me to 'join in'.

but i do also think that there is something bigger out there, directing in getting all of us like minded folk together to share our strong thoughts and ideas and spread them like a big weaving with all the threads, us, joining to make our world better.

xoxoxo

magicalmuse said...

I think you need to find a good balance maybe or set aside time in the morning to check email and blogs and do your own. The rest of the day no computer no thoughts on blogging just being in the moment.Then the next morning you can tune in again. Don't know if that's a good idea for you or not. But I think there's a balance there.
http://www.magicalmuse.typepad.com

A bird in the hand said...

I agree with Gemma. You can do both. But maybe also give yourself a day off? It might help to balance things out. xoxo

Kathryn Knoll said...

This blogging has been a new adventure for me because the whole world wide web is an adventure. I am new to the technology and such but, the process of reflection on life is not new to me. We nuns call this "theological reflection." There are more formal, and in my mind, stilted ways of theological reflection which I shy away from, but considering how my day and experiences are about a deeper, inner process that has to do with my relationship with myself, the Divine and the Oneness that I am coming to realize we are, is huge. People who blog and particularly women, are reflecting and therefore "harvesting the ways of the heart."These same women, you, me and the others whose blogs we visit and who visit ours could very well get lost in the business of life and not take time out to think about or consider what this means for them. I am finding, that by blogging, I am seeing themes and meaningful trends that mean something to me and to all of us. It is a way to stay conscious. The other thing is that this is on the web, what we are doing, not in the privacy of our notebooks or minds and therefore, we are creating a whole new nervous system for Gaia! It is all part of becoming globally conscious rather than individually conscious. As we traverse this dimension, we are also creating avenues that connect us with the other dimensions we have always operated out of but were just not conscious of. This is a new adventure that requires thoughtfulness and balance. By walking with one another as we move forward we are redefining our reality. We are compelled to do so now that we have begun. What you say on a blog matters for the good of the whole. It may not seem like much, but then, things are really not what they seem. More and more I am understanding that. Another aspect that I think is so important is that we are connecting we people we would never have been able to meet and we are seeing that the outer trappings of national thought through government actions and words do not in anyway represent what is really going on in the heart of the people of this planet. Once we know someone in another part of the world and get to know their heart, how can they ever be an enemy? Blog on if you are so moved. I know I'm in. Many blessings, always on your way, Sr.K

kim said...

Krissie~I like your idea. I have been contemplating doing some sort of art journal.

Sister Katheryn~Wise words. I am a huge fan of your blog also.

Everyone has such wise words and I know for me, if it hadn't been for this, I would not have found such wonderful people. Even if they are a part of my life and then move on, as I have had a couple of those too.

linda may said...

I probably blog because it is another creative outlet.
I might be a bit of a voyeur, looking at other peoples lives.
I want to share and receive comment on my life.
It is a way to tell some of the silly stories of my life's experiences.
For people who are in other countries I want to tell them what a great country this is and learn about how and where they live.
I think it is also a way for me to veg out and switch off what is going on around me at the end of the day. I.E. when my Mum is annoying me I come here as she doesn't like the puter. (Except when I showed her how to look at old Gardening Australia film clips and garden pictures).
I haven't got to the stage where I think it is time to cut back on my blogging activities. But maybe if I felt like that I would wind down, not completely though.
Yes I do think that getting to know people through blogging is a nice way to make friends. Some times I don't thinkj I have any friends but since I said we were moving from here there have been a lot of people tell me that I do matter to them as a friend.So maybe there are people that you hadn't thought of as friends that could be closer to you than you considered.

Dandelion seeds said...

I know who wrote that-miss gorgeous leonie :-)

it's something I think about too. I dunno, right now, I still feel it's healthy. But I totally understand when it's not.

much love.

starnitesky said...

I enjoy reading blogs and getting a glimpse into other peoples lives, it is also a wonderful way to link with people all over the world. I hope you will continue to blog for a long time.

Kim said...

I often have days when I think 'Why do I bother', but that can relate to any aspect of my life and not just blogging.

Since starting my blog, I've met some wonderful people who are more like minded and have a lot more in common with me than some of my close friends. The beauty of blogging is that we can share sooo much of ourselves, regardless of where we are in the world and we can fit it in with our normal lives as well.

I feel that like minded people are drawn together by whatever means available to the Universe.

Kim x