last Wednesday, the day I took my 'break', I finally lost it....- I had been to the Plaza to buy some wrapping paper for Christmas and the few gifts that I had to buy and I was in the $2 shop with a million other people. Damn carols tingling in the loudspeaker - telling us 'it is beginning to look alot like christmas'.. people with faces that were either red from frustration or angry from just having to be there. Stupid santa hats jumbled up with rudolph noses that blink oddly from under a pair of bent, felt antlers, cards covered with snow... fake snow in spray cans.. on and on it went. The final straw was when I had to carry the tubes of wrapping paper and they were hitting everything in my wake... and I just lost it. I thought I had protected myself very well from other peoples energies but apparently not. While other people were having the religious experience of what is commonly known as christmas shopping, I snapped. I felt drained, I felt ill.
I yelled at my husband and blamed him... and I just got into the car and came home. with, well, not much at all except for a headache and a deep brooding sadness.
at this time of year, I get even more confused than I am usually - my human Self knows that it is summer solstice/midsummer/litha but I am being told by the media that it is Yule-time. I am supposed to hang a yule-tide wreath on my door. I am supposed to decorate my tree with snow covered cottages. I am supposed to be all fuzzy and loving towards my fellow man.
after a cry in my Sacred space, feeling totally alone, I got to thinking again... I believe that the Southern Hemisphere astrological signs are wrong.. they should be reversed.. I am not sure if I am correct in thinking this and I am going to ask someone... but it makes sense... Capricorn is a winter sign, but not down here... it is a summer sign.... but if I were born in the Northern Hemisphere, I would have been a winter baby, which sits very well with my soul, thankyou very much.
today begins the silly season... we are off to our first of many 'christmas' parties... where I have to get dressed up in fancy dress, leather and lace theme and take a gift worth no more than $5... and will receive something in return that is worth no more than $5..... god help me. I will probably drink way too much champagne and feel as bad as I did last weekend...I cannot wait til December 22 where I will attend a Summer Solstice circle..
so welcome December, where somewhere it truly is beginning to look alot like Yuletide....