"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Saturday, 1 December 2007

breaking point ~ bah humbug

I am back... sometimes, I've just got to take a day or two away. to let things settle in my soul. And that is what I have been doing... letting a few thoughts and feelings settle into where they belong
last Wednesday, the day I took my 'break', I finally lost it....- I had been to the Plaza to buy some wrapping paper for Christmas and the few gifts that I had to buy and I was in the $2 shop with a million other people. Damn carols tingling in the loudspeaker - telling us 'it is beginning to look alot like christmas'.. people with faces that were either red from frustration or angry from just having to be there. Stupid santa hats jumbled up with rudolph noses that blink oddly from under a pair of bent, felt antlers, cards covered with snow... fake snow in spray cans.. on and on it went. The final straw was when I had to carry the tubes of wrapping paper and they were hitting everything in my wake... and I just lost it. I thought I had protected myself very well from other peoples energies but apparently not. While other people were having the religious experience of what is commonly known as christmas shopping, I snapped. I felt drained, I felt ill.

I yelled at my husband and blamed him... and I just got into the car and came home. with, well, not much at all except for a headache and a deep brooding sadness.
at this time of year, I get even more confused than I am usually - my human Self knows that it is summer solstice/midsummer/litha but I am being told by the media that it is Yule-time. I am supposed to hang a yule-tide wreath on my door. I am supposed to decorate my tree with snow covered cottages. I am supposed to be all fuzzy and loving towards my fellow man.

after a cry in my Sacred space, feeling totally alone, I got to thinking again... I believe that the Southern Hemisphere astrological signs are wrong.. they should be reversed.. I am not sure if I am correct in thinking this and I am going to ask someone... but it makes sense... Capricorn is a winter sign, but not down here... it is a summer sign.... but if I were born in the Northern Hemisphere, I would have been a winter baby, which sits very well with my soul, thankyou very much.

today begins the silly season... we are off to our first of many 'christmas' parties... where I have to get dressed up in fancy dress, leather and lace theme and take a gift worth no more than $5... and will receive something in return that is worth no more than $5..... god help me. I will probably drink way too much champagne and feel as bad as I did last weekend...I cannot wait til December 22 where I will attend a Summer Solstice circle..

so welcome December, where somewhere it truly is beginning to look alot like Yuletide....


Pixie said...

Bah humbug to you to!!!Enjoy the party

On a more serene note. I want to tell you what I'm telling the other three bloggers I feel this about. You have made a massive impact on my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart dearest robyn.

peppylady said...

I'm not sure if I should say Merry Bah Humbug or Merry Christmas.

I never thought of what sign I would of been or what the star what lined up if I was born in Southern Hemisphere.
I'm an Aquarius, with pieces raising and my moon in Leo.
So would it mean if I was born in Southern Hemisphere my sun sign would be in Leo, my raising sign would be Cancer and then my moon sign would be Aquarius.
So anyway you looked at I'm still mess up.

A bird in the hand said...

It's hard to get all jolly and happy and all that when in fact Nature is preparing to hibernate, the days are darker, the trees and plants are going to sleep, and we should be slowing down too. It took me a long time to understand that if you're in tune with the earth and the seasons, pretending otherwise is bound to get you down and blue. So, I'm trying to avoid the frenzy. xoxoxo

Journey Through Life said...

I understand the shopping thing. I can't stand all the crowds and the commercialism. So, I just keep away until absolutely necessary!

I'm a Sagittarian, I've had my charts done. And I feel like a Sagittarian!! I don't think the hemispheres makes a difference to our signs. But I would be interested to hear anything you may find out about it.

Glad you are feeling better.

Tinker said...

I don't know much about astrology, but I think you may be on to something with that astrological/hemisphere reversal thing...
As for the seasonal commercialism, and the forced celebrations in situations you don't care for - there was a poem I read earlier tonight, that seems somehow appropriate. I'll see if I can find it, and send it to you...
It doesn't feel much like Christmas here really either, though at least it isn't 90 degrees anymore, it's finally pouring rain - which we need. Just hope it's not so much that we have mudslides now after all the fires.
Sorry I'm babbling - I'll stop and
send you ((hugs)) instead~xOxO

Krissie said...

lol...your description of shopping at christmas is so hilarious as its accurate. We live near the shops and today cars were parked half a mile down the street for the shops..I dread to think what the mall was like inside...seething with people all trying to buy rolls of xmas roll!!! lol...I avoided the shops and went to the beacj which was soul nourishing and empty!!

solsticedreamer said...

i am a winter baby too...born the begining of february and i am so much an Aquarian it's silly!
i love winter, it is my best time of the year...a time i look forward to during the summer, on those odd hot/warm/sunny days.
my excitement builds in autumn when we start getting our log supply in, i flourish through winter and come spring i almost enjoy the prospect of a litle sun for the land, but find my face turned to winter again!

so glad to see you back!

judie said...

Many of us feel that "breaking point" Robyn. You are not alone, and you are loved. xoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Oh Robyn I feel for you. I might be beginning to look at lot like Yule/Christmas only because of the decorations. I am in the Northern Hemisphere But as I type this I am in shorts. Soooooo it doesn't feel much like Yule to me. Love Hugs and Blessings

Sacred Suzie said...

Christmas depresses the hell out of me too Robyn. It's all too overwhelming and I can not stand the materialism aspect of it at all. I hope that you've managed to recover OK and are having more fun now that you will be hanging out with people who truly adore and cherish you.

BTW, your Father Christmas is now on my blog!

Dandelion seeds said...

oh I understand so much. Our western culture (I am from the US) has taken a holiday and turned it into a shopping extravaganza that has infected (yes, that's the right word) the entire world it seems.

you know what? You don't HAVE to do anything-including being thrilled about this 'holiday'

thank you for speaking of this-I think there is so much expectation of this holiday that we forget what it's supposed to actually be about.

Rowan said...

I hate the crowds and the commercialism of this time of the year which is why I do most of my shopping in November or online. Just forget about the commercial aspect of it all and concentrate on your Summer Solstice and your own idea of the season.

Julie Marie said...

Oh, I sympathize with you!! I don't blame you a bit for getting stressed. What madness. I am trying to avoid it.

I am glad you were able to re-group. Real, natural things and people help us do that.

It seems some from Down Under call this the first day of summer. If so, happy first day of summer. It snowed here today, real snow, and made the world pretty. Now I can enjoy the outdoor Christmas lights. It wasn't "right" before.


Leanne said...

I also hate the crowds and the madness of some people at this time of year.

I really feel for you over the geographical confusion of the seasons and celebrations. big hugs robyn.

Leanne x

amelia said...

I am also a Capricorn and just LOVE winter and I'm lucky because winter is what we've got!!! Lot's and lot's of snow.

If it were in my power I'd change the seasons so you could have some snow there for Christmas but I can't so you'll have to dream it instead! I will send you some snowy pictures to make you feel a bit better!

Gemma said...

Christmas in the desert doesn't feel like winter either. I have only had a few white Christmases in my life.
sending love!

Sheila said...

Hi Robyn, I hope you enjoyed the party last night, and didn't over indulge..hehe!
It is snowing here, and is very wintery. The first Christmas was spent in a climate not unlike yours, so this snow is only the ideal because the Victorians depicted it this way, in their illustrations.
I sometimes wish it was a little warmer here, and just snowed for the 25th..!

Bimbimbie said...

What is it with the silly season here? It seems to have been building up from late September silly women getting their knickers in knots because they are "late" and don't have their tree up in November! Shopping center madness and then there are the pre Christmas sales and the Boxing Day sales when everything seems to get returned by ungrateful people. Smiles *!*

Monique said...

I can imagine it must be very strange to you, in the middle of Summer putting up a Christmas tree and lights. I don't get it either.
I hope you can hang on until the
22nd and I hope it will be a lovely solstice gathering !!