"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Monday, 26 November 2007

missing the boat - so a bit of this and a bit of that

I went away on the weekend. We went to Mudgee - a wine producing area about 3 hours from our home.. so I missed the Full Moon... well posting about it anyhow. This full moon affected me in a very odd way .. much the same as a new moon does.. I felt lost and melancholy. But then I realized that it was 30 years since my first husband was killed in the car accident... and oddly enough, I dreamt about it on Saturday night... I think I may have a little grieving and forgiving of self to do on this.... even though it is a long time ago and I am very happily married... I didn't grieve when I was left a widow at 19 with a baby... and I also need to forgive my self for not allowing myself to grieve... I know it all sounds odd.. but that is how it is..

I also forgot to post my Sacred Life Sunday... but the way I was feeling last night.. not much was feeling sacred to me.. so I sat and meditated.... i think it was also a combination of no sleep and maybe a little too much champagne over the weekend. Being a sensitive.. alcohol doesn't do much for my spiritual self. But at least I danced the night away!
Below are some prayer flags in the colours of the chakras... they flap gently in the breeze just outside my bedroom door... these are sacred to me. I read the wise words and feel at peace. I sit under them while having my cup of tea and feel peace flowing down over my spirit.

this morning, when I realized that I didn't feel that there was alot that was sacred to me today.. I took myself off into my garden for a walk in the cool morning air and came across these flowers below.. Love in the mist... and immediately felt at peace.... like Love was in the mist around me... (yes, misty morning in Woodford today).... and then I thought of the white cockatoos that flew overhead yesterday when I returned home.. and how their raucous call has been reverberating throughout the bush during the past week... which always happens at this time of year...

and because of these cockatoos, I decided to call this Full Moon in November - the Cockatoo Moon.. I wandered around the garden some more.... feeling the peace descending on me.. I realized that I need a spiritual mentor... so I am going to manifest one.. call one in...

I realised that the Sacred in my life today is my garden and the peace I receive from it. A place to sit and ponder... a place to receive healing from Mother Earth.


amelia said...

Your garden looks like a wonderful place. Very peaceful.

Do you have peaceful neighbours? Can you be in your garden without being disturbed?

charlotte said...

Beautiful post! I found you through Sacred Suzie.


DAWN said...

Sometimes it takes me a bit to think of what is sacred in my life and other times I feel overwhelmed with sacredness. It is an ebb and flow like breathing, like life.

I wish you gentleness on your grieving journey for your first husband. All is as it should be.

Anonymous said...

I know how much you love being in your garden. Hope you are feeling better very soon.

Sending you hugs,

Krissie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krissie said...

I like the sound of that... - cockatoo moon, here the moon was glorious as there was a clear sky and a beautiful night on the weekend. It makes me feel very nostalgic and dreamy...the full moon, as I am a cancerian. sorry had to delete last post of mine as it had too many errors in it!! lol...bad typing day!

Sacred Suzie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your first husband, I didn't know that has happened to your family. That's so tragic. I guess you were in survival mode for you and your daughter, that is completely understandable.

It's been such a hard moon. I dreamed about all that I am going to lose around me and about how lost I am. There is truth in the moonlight that is hard to look at. I think we're doing a good job working through it and I can't wait to hear about your future mentor. I have to get me one of those.

Bimbimbie said...

I love that you chose Cockatoo Moon.
My two regulars have now become a little group of four. They've been visiting and playing since Friday and have left me a feather or two.

I'm echoing Dawn and saying be gentle with yourself in your grieving and allow your garden to nurture you Smiles & hugs *!*

Bimbimbie said...

I love that you chose Cockatoo Moon.
My two regulars have now become a little group of four. They've been visiting and playing since Friday and have left me a feather or two.

I'm echoing Dawn and saying be gentle with yourself in your grieving and allow your garden to nurture you Smiles & hugs *!*

tinker said...

Your garden always looks so lovely and peaceful. I love that you named your own full moon. I think that may make it even more meaningful and sacred, to have our own names for such things.

As for what you are calling into your life - it's said that when the student is ready, the teacher will come, and I believe that.
Wishing you everything that you wish for yourself, Robyn. Love and ((Hugs)) XOXO

Leanne said...

I think,like Tinker, that a teacher will becaome clear to yuo when its meant to be.

I love yuor chakra flags, I wonder if they sell them over here>

leanne x

Gemma said...

Oh Robyn...My first husband died too (He was the father of my son.)
Then I had 2 daughters just like you! Your prayer flags are so colorful...mine are faded tattered and torn from the sun!
Cockatoo Moon...beautiful you are an inspiration!

Tracy said...

Robyn, I'm sorry that you had to endure the loss of your first husband. May your soul find comfort and peace today. {{hugs}}

Carmen said...

My garden does the same for me.
I have my flags by a window and I am making my own for the next summer to display them in the highest roof in my house.

Pixie said...

the cosmic rays must be doing their stuff, cause as I read your post I felt a calmness come over me.
Good thing grief,as you know from my weekend!
I wish you ever more peace and tranquility in your life Robyn.
love pix xxx

Grace said...

It was a lovely full moon to be seen here in California...and there was alot of purging and releasing energy going maybe it's not just 'you', Robyn :) You seem to have been moved by what was happening on a universal plane, as well!

I spent the long holiday weekend, under the full moon, doing some cleaning and purging of my own and setting my intentions for the new...I also felt a little meloncoly at times, and posted about it last week...some of us seem pretty sensitive and THAT is a sacred experience, to me :)

I think it's awesome you're going to manifest a know that old saying!

Naturegirl said...

Posative energies from Mother Earth is always good for the soul and spirit! I will have thoughts of loved ones passed on at the most peculiar times! I actually get freaked out and have to sit and think "now why would he/she/pet...come to me today?"
I always come up with the same answer..their spirit is coming by to say "hello" least I like to think that!It is comforting for me to think that! Enjoy the energy that you recieve from your blissfull garden!
hugs NG

Anonymous said...

Love th Prayer Flags. You garden looks and sounds grand. My garden is my favorite place. Love Hugs and Blessings

A bird in the hand said...

It's been 30 years for me too. I grieved for 10 years. But you had a baby to take care of. We never forget, do we, because it's part of our life, our history, who we become.

Hugging you very tightly. xoxo

judie said...

Cockatoo Moon. I LOVE that! I caught the new moon also. Be happy Mz. Robyn. xoxoxo

Julie Marie said...

I have been so cranky and out of sorts lately, and not in the mood for Christmas, reading, blogging or anything. BLAH! Hope I get out of this little rut soon. I saw Carmen's and Gemma's soul collages and am going to try one tonight and see if that helps.

Monique said...

When I'm in a lot of pain ( heart wise) I always go to my garden and work. My hands in the ground, that is so calming. I have had some gardens and they all florished. The all transformed my grieve in beautiful plants and shrubs. I know what you mean !!!!
I wish you a great peaceful day !!