this afternoon, I had a nap. then I sat and read Under the Tuscan sun, trying to get my mind of tomorrow's appointment with the breast specialist. being very much like an ostrich, putting my head into the sand, by escaping to Italy via the book...snuggling under a blanket, trying to take away the inner cold. yes, I am scared. as I read, my mind started to wander as it does tend to do.
[this is my hand, worn from working in my garden. worn just like the wedding ring that is on my hand. aged & worn from time and use. and I love it]
I looked down at my hands and noticed that i had old lady hands. you know, those crepey looking hands that old ladies develop with age. they have a certain translucence..it took me aback and at first I felt a little disappointed that my hands looked so old, [why is it that I don't hesitate to love and adore and even be passionate about old furniture and other such stuff, but I find it difficult to love and embrace my aging self?]
then remembered that these are the hands that lovingly tend my garden. they are workers hands. I noted to self that i must make the effort to massage more hand cream into them.. they reminded me of my nan. They reminded me that I come from a long line of strong, tough women. women who have faced all kinds of things during their lives and I am part of that.... I am still scared, but I know I am in the company of strong women. I will face whatever comes my way. with acceptance and love. it has been said, that it is all about love...every single thing, the good and the not so good, is all about love.