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"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)


Thursday, 18 February 2010

the sacred in my simple day..today

this morning when i woke up, the sun was struggling to come through the clouds.. kind of mirroring how I was feeling. a little apprehensive with the events of the coming day.

gardenias picked from my garden. I have quite a few bushes in my little courtyard and the whole garden is perfumed by them at this time of year...

I started to wash up, trying to still the fear inside. trying to stay in the moment and not gallop into the Land of Whatifs..... then the text messages started to come on my phone

'hope the tests go good today, I will be thinking of you' ~ Caine
' mum, I love you!' Louisa
'good luck today' ~ Sophie

then Joe arrived home with a loaf of organic spelt and made me a simple egg sandwich for lunch.
in my world here at Inglewood, I am surrounded by angels. angels in the shape of my children... that is all one can ask for, is it not? [and dutch husband of course, but we all know he is my absolute guardian angel]

today I had tests done on the breast lump and it was not found! after a harrowing 40mins or so of the nurse going in and out with my scans.. Dr requiring even more.. me nearly on my knees in the room praying while I waited. topless. nurse coming back in.. 'we need another, there is a lump we want to take a closer look at just in case' [just incase? I thought to myself at this stage]... by this time my blood pressure must have been rising.. and the 'oh you have had a lump before.. and cancer too? - well with that history we must make sure that there is nothing sinister going on' [going on? thought to myself.. what the hell does that mean?]
after 4 scans, they finally got what they needed.. I still don't have all results back yet, but no biopsy had to be done so that is a good thing. .

thankyou for all your comments and emails.. it really does help to know that I am surrounded by angels on the internet too.

10 comments:

Imogen said...

No biopsy? Yay, that's very promising!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

What wonderful news! Such a relief -- celebrate!!

Tinker said...

Sending good thoughts your way, Robyn. May all be well with you~xOx

Fire Byrd said...

fingers still tightly crossed for the results.
So good when are families just are there for us at these frightening times.
Those gardenias BTW are beautiful I can almost smell them from here.
xx

mxtodis123 said...

My grandmother always had daffodils growing about her yard. Smelled so wonderful. Well, looks like that is some good news at the doctor, but I am, oh, so sorry the torture you had to go through. You're a very strong lady, and I am so glad to call you a friend.
Mary

Beatnheart said...

Oh my darling girl,
Even though you are a new friend my heart lurches for your pain...I work up last night at 3am(Long Beach,California time and said a prayer for you...I know in my gut that you are ok...now the work begins for you, with self love ...stop thinking cancer...think health,healing...what you think about manifests itself..all of that is the past..Do you know of the book "You can heal your life"?? Louise Hay? Fear in your thinking comes out somehow,settles in your body someway...I am no expert nor have I been through what you have been..but i do believe that what we think,becomes...so think health for yourself...we are with you...Cynthia at Beatnheart....

Holly said...

Reiki has been coming at you and at you...I'm so relieved to hear that you are happy....Blessings on you....

Linda said...

Oh Robyn that is fantastic news and such a relief to hear. xoxo

Angela said...

I just know everything is going to be fine, but I'll pray anyway. :) I think your lent give-up is wonderful. I, too, suffer from the feelings of "ohmygod, who is that in the mirror?!?!?" Whatever. We're perfect. :) Much, much love as always.

Janet said...

That is great! I'm continuing with the good thoughts and I just know the outcome will be more good news.