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"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)


Saturday, 27 October 2007

I AM a wild woman!!

so much has happened over the past few days.. and this is a post that I just had to get out, then no more until the 31st...

Last night when I was Moon gazing and sending my wishes out to whoever takes care of them... I sat, looking out at the Moon which was hidden behind the dark storm clouds... and I asked Her to show Her face... then I felt a presence beside me.. it was me, yet not me and we sat together looking at the Moon.. was it the Goddess? was it Daisy or was it my Wild Woman who I had lost contact with many moons ago? as we sat there together, in perfect peace... the clouds parted and the Moon shone in all Her glory, surrounded completely by clouds.. shining down on 'us' for a few minutes and then disappearing again. It started to rain.

I dreamed last night of the angels and how they have been leaving me feathers and coins quite alot lately... and I dreamed I was outside thinking this very thing and how I hadn't had a feather in a few days.. feeling very greedy... and I looked down and there was a feather on the ground... I picked it up... thinking another one! Then I woke up... and realized that the angels are even leaving me feathers in my dreamtime.

For a few years now, I have heard of the book "Women who run with the wolves" and I asked a friend about it awhile ago and she said - 'don't bother, it won't help'.... so I listened to her and not to myself. Until a few days ago.. it started popping up on blogs and other places and something started to niggle at me...
I bought that book today. And just now.. I had a bath... taking the book, my glasses and a huge drink of water with me...and I started to read... crying, gasping.... really gasping for breath. Was this book written for me? I felt like shouting ! I was actually crying and gasping so much from familiarity, I think. I felt loved.
"the longing for her comes when one happens across someone who has secured this wildish relationship" Page 5 ~ yes....Ruth
"searching...... for a sign that she still lives, that we have not lost our chance" Page 6.......
.... "for we are not going on without her any longer" page 6....
"once women have lost her and then found her again, they will contend to keep her for good" and "this wild teacher, wild mother, wild mentor supports their inner and outer lives, no matter what" ... THANKYOU Clarissa Pinkola Estes!!!!!!


there is hope. I am a wild woman!!! oh my .. this is such a wonderful feeling.. it is like I have discovered myself... I am afraid this will slip through my fingers... but I will be brave and strong... my Wild Woman will not desert me..
and yes.... my Wild Woman group will come... I just know it !!!! I could cry with happiness.... you know what? I think I will.

I wrote a poem last night while looking at the rain...

loving being me
in this present moment.
the rain drizzles down,
soaking deep into Mother Earth.
quenching the soil, quenching my soul
bringing to fruition, seeds that lie waiting.
the Goddess sends the rain of love to the seeds of my soul,
I bloom and blossom, into the wise woman that I am.
shedding my safe cocoon.... and flying free,
like the butterfly
who I am meant to be.

32 comments:

Connie said...

Dear Robyn,
You sound so very happy. It is wonderful to finally find something in print that you connect with...I have a few books that I will go to when I am needing comfort just to read certain lines.
I wish you all the love and happiness your heart can hold.

Hugs, Connie

Pennie said...

Dear Robyn,
"Women Who Run With The Wolves" is one of my favorite books of all times!!! It changed my life...I saw so much of "me" in her writing and like you, felt she had written it for me.
I read it slowly...letting each bit sink in...knowing how much I had missed out on and could now recapture. I was sad when it ended, but it did so much for me I bought a copy for my daughter.
I'm glad you're feeling better and sound so much happier.
Your poem was lovely and your story of sitting out watching the moon reminds me of what I myself sometimes do.
Brightest blessings as you continue your journey...

motherwintermoon said...

I LoVe the book WWRWTW!! It and all my favorite quotes from it, was the honored topic of one of my Divine Feminine posts. It's a deeply empowering book for woman, that goes right to our root.

Hello butterfly...you are as beautiful as ever with your wildly colorful and glorious wings!

Beautiful post! I'm right beside you. It's lovely to see your happiness glow. Big LoVe, MW

Grace said...

Hello Sweet WildWoman!!! :) Oh, I'm SO VERY happy for you! You may have noticed that much of my blog is themed from this extraordinary book! (I have a couple of pages dedicated to it, in fact, where I've found wise and wild men and women in Blogland, and use it to post their quotes!)

Like Pennie :) (Hi, Penny) I'm reading it very slowly - almost like consuming a very rich meal full of delicacies beacuse it is so FULL!! I have cried, laughed and felt so UNDERSTOOD and (finally) UNDERSTANDING of my own Wild Nature.

Welcome to the Pack, Sister :) There are many of us here to embrace you!

(and, as a side note...thank you for commenting on my blog about the fires. Just so you are aware, I go back and respond to each comment within that comment - highlighted in bold. So I've left you a note).

BLESSINGS!!

Sacred Suzie said...

I'm so happy you had that blessed moment under the full moon and that your life is filling up with coins and feathers. How beautiful! That is truly a wonderful book and the great thing about it is it is a slow and deep read. It isn't something you will rush through, it takes time and patience and really can change a life. I am so happy to hear the wild energy in your writing voice! You are a wild woman, roar Robyn! Roar!

Krissie said...

love the postive slant that your life is taking you on...I can hear that roar too.....robyn continue to roar and run with the wolves, you wild thing you!! It takes a lot of courage to do what your doing....dont stop now!

Leanne said...

Robyn, I bought that book on a boot fair a little while ago, I mentioned it in a blog post!its on my pile of 'next books to read'!! I think I had better move it to the top!!

Leanne x

Kate said...

Glad you found the book it is wonderful. Good luck on your journey with it. I love the image with the wolves.

Kate

Pixie said...

Oh some cyber twining going on here!
I'm reading at the moment, and i can only tell you, it gets more inside you, as you get deeper into it.
Go well fairy butterfly
pxx

Tracy said...

Robyn, I was trying to remember the name of that book. I had heard of it a few months back and wanted to read it.

Love your poem and the picture of you with the wolves!

kathyann said...

Robyn,You are a BRAVE AND STRONG WILD WOMAN,you are on your way back! All our love and blessings are with you. Kathyann

Julie Marie said...

Dear Robyn,

I am a Wild Woman too. There are women out there - not Wild Women - who have tried to hold me down and hurt me - but they have not succeeded, because in the end they are afraid and we are not afraid.

Your last two posts have overwhelmed me.

Julie

Julie Marie said...

Dear Robyn,

I was going to leave a comment on your full moon post but found I could not. I KNEW that you could not let a full moon go by without posting - so I am very glad you came out of "hiatus" to do so. I am so much more aware of the phases of the moon since I "met" you.

By the way, I forgot to tell you that I got your Blue Mountains postcard recently and they indeed look like a special, truly magical place.

Hugs,

Julie

kim said...

I am back and I am here for you. I hate that I wasn't able to be here for you before....

Bimbimbie said...

I love your new header Robyn - looks as powerful as the words you have written in these last two posts ... those cicadas are singing at the purple moon here too .... now I know where those butterflies are coming from Smiles *!*

tinker said...

I've loved that book for many, many moons - didn't realize you hadn't read it - it does have some wonderful ideas in it - heroine's need their stories to be sung, just as much as the heroes tales we always hear. It's one of those books that doesn't collect much dust here, it's one I can return to every so often, and take a tale as needed.
Glad you're finding so many wonderful signs - I'm finding another synchronicity here, but I'll wait to chat about it with you a little later. Have a wonderful weekend. xOx

Nicole said...

Oh sweetheart... you sound so very happy. I am so very pleased. I hope this full moon has indeed shone on you. Take care.

Dandelion seeds said...

so glad I found this blog!! I bought Women who run with the wolves years ago. Picked it up, put it down, picked it up, put it down. Could never read more than a few pages without falling asleep-which is often a sign that your body is resisting and not ready for something. It is only recently that I have been able to sit and read it with new eyes. I think maybe I am ready. Many blessings on your journey! (and love the look of the blog too!)

Gemma said...

Many moons ago, I too found and read this book. So glad you discovered it and are getting the benefit of it's wisdom. HOWL Wild women of the world!

Sheila said...

Robyn it sounds as if this book really touched you. That is wonderful, I'm so happy for you.
As for feeling the presence of someone with you in the garden that is good, you know you are never alone. Would have been nice to have a inkling of who it was though.
I'm glad you are feeling better.
hugs xx

jumpinginpuddles said...

thanks for your words and for visting yes it did help what you wrote so many thanks

Peggy said...

sounds like you had a perfect evening. The book does sound like it was written for you. Loved your poem.

sorrow11 said...

So glad to read that you have found a path to help you along life's winding roads. A beautiful post, as always. Just wanted to let you know I have passed an award your way , and you may come and get it when your back from your Samhain retreat. Walk easy

Moonroot said...

This is such a magical, inspiring post! Thank you for coming out of hiatus to share your magical experiences with us.

kim said...

This would be a good read for all of us! I think I will get this book. I was always curious about it.

solsticedreamer said...

Oh Robyn!
Sounds like things have been amazing since last week!
I am so pleased!

solsticedreamer said...

oh yes and I love the new bits added to your blog!

peppylady said...

Sometime I have trouble shedding my cocoon complete afraid of what one my thinking of me.

Grace said...

I've left you something at my blog.

Namaste, Wild Woman :)

Monique said...

That is so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing !!!

Gill said...

Robyn, I love your poem! Just to say that you need to be ready for Women Who Run With the Wolves- The first time I read it it didn't resonate me at all.

Carmen said...

You are indeed a lovely wild woman!
xxooxx
One day you will be surprised, I will give you a big hug in person.