rock gathering.. signs from the otherside & the syncronicity that goes with that... a spiritual story

we have been asked to collect 5 rocks..for the Artists Way - week 6
~ something about rocks signifying abundance in our life (and if the amount of rocks I found on the weekend are anything to go by, then my life is surely abundant! ~ except I couldn't carry all those that I found!!)...

taking full advantage of my time beside the sea over the weekend.. I grabbed dutch husbands hand and we walked along the beach to the rocks.. splashing through the waves like two children and laughing ourselves silly when the waves washed up to our waists as we waded to the rock pools.... we both kept saying how the sea was good for our souls.. me collecting coloured glass and sea shells to make a wreath for the Gypsy Caravan... and dutch husband just enjoying the time spent wandering along the shell graveyard..(we call it that, because truly, there are millions of shells.. like a graveyard for deceased sea animals, who once called the shells their home)... and as I gathered, I thought of my friend Sr.K ~ across the ocean and how she gathers flotsam and jetsam for her Seahorse clay figures..and how she loves to find Hearts along the shore...and how she had a friend called Cindy who is now on the other side.. and I thought to myself.. how wonderful it would be if I could find a heart shaped stone to send to Sr.K...

and no sooner was that thought out, than I looked down and there in the sand was a stone looking very much like a heart..
I clapped my hands with delight, said thankyou to Cindy as I picked it up... putting it carefully into my hat which had now become a carry bag for shells, rocks and sea glass... on I went gathering shells and bits of driftwood and just loving walking through the cold water.. and as I gathered, I started to think about maybe the heart was a co-incidence, started to doubt and question.. and I said in my head to Cindy 'ok, just to let me know that the rock was not just a fluke, how about another?' ~ feeling a little greedy and guilty for not trusting

but as soon as the last word was out, there on the sand was another rock!!
I said a huge thankyou with my head bowed and was in total awe at that moment of my connection to the spirit world. At that moment, I felt totally at one with Mother Earth, the Ocean, the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks, the water lapping over my feet. all as one.
so on I went gathering and found a funny little spot with a spiral type pattern on the rock and knew that i had to stand there.. immediately I felt grounded. It was like a power spot for me and I got a kind of voice message/feeling that my life was on the right track, that what I was doing with my day to day life was exactly what I am supposed to be doing.. and that Spirit was always giving me messages and signs and guidance... I just had to be aware of it and have faith. believe. trust.
Honestly, sometimes when things like this happen.. makes me wonder where I have been or rather where my head has been, all this time.

I was also lucky enough to find my stick for the MinMia workshop in November.
I have been looking for the stick for ages.. we need a stick to make ourselves a story totem.. and you know how it is, once you need to find something, every stick or twig becomes 'is that it?'.. i have constantly been told during meditation that the stick will find me.. and lo and behold it did. I had completely forgotten about it and while walking on the rocks, a stick just made itself know to me, not sure how, but there it was.. perfectly twisted and turning for a life journey stick!!

a blessed and insane Spring Equinox in Woodford.

the world where i live has gone mad. today, Mother Nature is not a happy soul where I live. yesterday we were given a warning for gale force winds overnight.. what they forgot to tell us was that the wind was moving the Middle of Australia, to where I live. The middle of Australia consists of desert. red dirt. I think much of Uluru is now in our backyard pool..
not only that but severe weather in another state, bush fires in another and earthquakes in the state south of me..
here in Woodford, last night the winds were howling out of control. I thought the world had come to an end and all the demons in hell had been let loose, just like someone had predicted (I think it was John DeBosco, not sure though).. I thought those demons were having their one last chance before God pressed the delete button... but this morning, I was still alive... and when I looked out of the window, I thought that there had been an atomic bomb dropped in Woodford.. it was a very eeerie orange. yes, the sky, the air, everything was orange.. including my floors and every single surface in my home. Even the monk across the road looked more orange than usual. You see, there had been a dust storm overnight, the winds whipping up out west and bringing the red dirt into the coast via Woodford. And dumping it as it went, all over my home. The pool looks like a day spa.. all muddy.. with flower petals floating on top.. it looks like you could just jump in and have a body treatment..and of course, I am not happy. Not only does wind affect the chi energy in the body, it also governs the liver and anger.. plus, last week I did all my spring cleaning... my Spring Equinox plans went out the window .. I planned on having a lovely wander around my garden, welcoming in the Equinox but instead I vacuumed and washed floors...
but I did have a little chance to play this afternoon.. I made a Springtime crown for myself.. I just allowed myself to cut, glue, paint and decorate - I tried hard to shut my inner critic up..and now Buddha welcomes in Spring

I think I have done it! unveiling my new piece of art....

meditation is helping me alot the past few days.. either that or I am really listening to my in-tuition...
the other night I was just sitting in front of my altar, trying not to expect any ground moving moments.. just trying to focus on my breathing and stilling my mind.. when I heard 'paint your own story' and I saw, once again, the Goddess shape that I wanted so desperately to paint.. and it was all in ochre and Aboriginal style.. and I knew then, that I had been trying to paint Ruth's story..not mine. Her art was to inspire me, not for me to copy...

so I got up and sketched what I knew I had to paint, what I felt that I had to paint
and left it at that.

talking to dutch husband about his mother's art, I asked if she had ever had difficulty with water colours.. and he said he remembered her once saying it was the most difficult medium and she tried to stay away from it.. preferring to work with oils.. so that made me feel a little less incompetent.

I had been using a small set of tube watercolours and they just did not work for me.. and I remembered that somewhere,

I had a stash of dry pallette watercolours that Soph had used in high school
so I seeked them out, sat down, brush in hand and I started..

the paints flowed quite smoothly..the stress levels were still a little high, so I centred myself, put Shamanic Dream on and went with the flow of that trance music...

of course, I didn't know when to stop with the background and I am not sure if I am 100% happy with it..

and not sure if I like the pen outline that I did nor the colourful background, but it does make my soul smile when I look at it.. so I guess that is pretty good for a first attempt.

a letter from the future

the Artist's Way asked us to write a letter from our 80year old selves to our selves now... mine seems to be very wise.. so please take this letter as some wisdom from the ages.. my inner wise woman.. who is there in my future.....

Dear darling Miss*R,
here I am 80yrs old!! And I am looking back at our life and at you who is the younger me. On the threshold of your wisdom years. the first thing that springs to mind is to tell you to love yourself. that is the most important thing. each and every day, enjoy the journey ~ laugh and take time to enjoy the moment ~ don't look ahead to the future or back to the past ~ have no regrets ~ thank life experiences and let them go. Take time to listen to others but more importantly to listen to your inner voice, the intuition. and always take time to nurture and pamper yourself. forget rules and create !! write poetry, splash paint, blow bubbles, meditate. study astrology, mythology, herbs and flower essences. enjoy the study, have fun with it. visit sacred sites, hold sacred circles, go on retreat and dream. eat well, drink lots of water. love, love and love
but as it says in Desiderata
above all be gentle with yourself
may the Goddess be with you on your journey
~ much love from your older self

yes, I am willing to learn to let myself create!! of course I am..damn it!!!!

I am not going to harp on about how I can't paint.. no .. but I am gonna sift through stuff to try and work out why I have this block.. over the past week, I have had so many, many supportive emails and comments, telling me I can do it!!
yes, I know I am creative, because I created these paintings last year.. (but there was much angst in my soul as I created these)

(spiritual shrine a gift from Gemma)
give me fabric & I will create a work of art - a woollen bag, a quilt,

a cushion
give me a plot of ground

& I will make for you a Garden of Eden

or a sacred space where your soul will sigh with peace..
give me a house

and I guarantee I will create a home full of whimsy and joy

wooden spoon & mixing bowls? tagines, olive oil, parsley... give me anything from a kitchen and I can whip up a storm!
but give me paint, paper and a brush and I freeze. my mouth goes dry, my mind blank and I dither.
right, I am going to paint.. I put paint to paper, look at it, hate it and rip it up. and on and on this goes, til my rubbish bins looks like that of a frustrated writer...I have no idea whatsoever why I do this.. but I am ready to change

the voice in my head tells me to forget about.. yes, I could do that. I could ignore the urging of spirit to get this picture down onto paper out my head, I could ignore the promptings of what you call my muse - and I could do those things that I do best, but damn it, I don't want to. I WANT TO PAINT !!

I want to lose myself in watercolours. I want to see with my heart and paint from my soul... I can see in my mind what I want to paint.. but I just cannot get it down on paper...take the leap I hear you and Spirit say... *sigh* I wish it were that easy... I gotta delve into my past to see where this is coming from.. my inner critic seems to have a very loud voice.