"She seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if she had surprised a butterfly in the Winter woods"
(edith wharton)

Friday, 23 April 2010

yesterday.. is it all related to Pluto? oh - & Marion's boiled fruit cake recipe..

yesterday, I had a menopausal breakdown. I am trying so hard to cope with all the symptoms but I am not doing so well.. then I get blogging angst as we all do.. and wonder what the hell it is all about.. so I put a post up about taking a break and took it down again then went to bed.

You see, I am so dreadfully angry. I am irritable and sometimes sad. there is a rage inside me that bubbles beneath the surface.. sometimes I feel like running away from my responsibilities and living as a mad woman in a cottage... and I know it is all related to either menopause or else Pluto is in my chart somewhere which is bringing up repressed anger from times past.. whatever, I need to do something about it.. or else, dutch husband will no longer be a husband.. cause I am sure he must be getting sick of it all.. but he has the patience of a saint..thank Heaven. [if you have suffered menopausal madness.. pray please tell how you dealt with the anger & rage]

[anyhow.. blogging... comments.. they twist and turn my mind. I love to blog. yes I do.. but I do get the angst that we all get about comments & the followers.. I have followers who I have not a clue who they are.... & that is all I am going to say. ]

and here is Marion's recipe for
Boiled Fruit Cake [this is exactly how she told me to do it, have no idea what size pan to cook it in]

125g butter
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
2 cups mixed dried fruit
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp mixed spice

[heat the above ingredients in a saucepan until butter has melted. Marion adds 1/2 pkt dried cranberries]

400g crushed pineapple

then mix together [and add to the above mix when it has cooled slightly]
1/2 cup sherry
1 tsp bicarb soda

beat 2 eggs
and add to mix when it is cold

sift and add
1 cup self raising flour
1 cup plain flour

stir. put into greased cake tin

then cook in a moderate oven for 1 hour

hopefully tomorrow when I see my acupuncturist & herbalist.. I will get some help.. then next week I am going to an energetic healer.. please God, let me find some help...I don't like myself when I am like this


Winterwood said...

ps - I think its mercury in retrograde?

Winterwood said...

we are in the same boat.. only my doc put me on some lovely pills last week and now I feel fine.. well for now I do... all to do with the lovely menapause... arent we lucky! I hope you know who I am dear robyn?? LOL!

have a good weekend and hope you get stuff sorted with the menapause. maybe its called that cos we need a pause from men? LOL! I think my dh would love to have a pause from me sometimes!!

Told you the pills are doing a good job... my moods are greatly improved! dh is pleased!

I am on hormone pills which I vowed I'd never take but had to with what was happening to me last 3 weeks.

Imogen said...

Take care over there - from a woman trying to face up to the start of the menopause run to one in the thick of it; take care, take heart, as we all have to do.

Your day at your friend's place sounds fantastic; relaxing and stimulating at once, and full of nature and creativity...

& thank you for posting the recipe.

Fire Byrd said...

Menopausal madness is just vile.
I get so many women through my door thinking they are going completely mad. No -one tells women they will feel this batty.
And if it wasn't cause I've done it wouldn't know it was normal.
Just think of it as a bridge from fertile to wise woman. In the same way as the bridge from child into woman makes teenage girls impossible to live with.
And try tapping your first two fingers of your right hand against the side of the palm of the left.Don't know how that works, except it must be a meridian, but it amazingly calms you down after about 30 secs to a minute.
AND don't let the blog get you down, you know who your friends are and who cares for you.
Honestly if it's not you telling me this it's the other way round, what are we like!!!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I sympathize, Miss*R. Menopause kicked my ass big time too. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I took no medication to offset the symptoms (herbal, HRT or otherwise) but just accepted it as a natural process. It's a life-changer, all right. Find what soothes you. Be gentle with yourself.

Anonymous said...

Dear Robyn,
I sent you an email, can't say I am being much help!
Oh the blogging thing. Leaving comments and then feeling guilty if you don't get around to everyone's blog that left you one...
I have a few followers who I have no clue about either.
I hope you find some relief with your herbalist ~ I am interested to know more about an energetic healer.

Janet said...

Oh, Robyn - I remember those days and I wonder how HB managed to stay with me through it all! About all I can tell you is it WILL pass. I know that doesn't help right now. And don't worry about the blog. It will always be here when you feel up to it and your friends will still be waiting for you.

Thanks for sharing the recipe....I'm making a copy for my files.

gemma said...

Sorry you've been having such a time of it. I too wonder what it's all about. What are we doing here on this ball twirling in space? Glad you enjoyed a beautiful day on Mt. Wilson....with like-minded souls.
love you

Pam said...

Oh Robyn, you have my sympathy!I am half-way through an Eckhart Tolle book at the moment "The Power of Now", that helps us to be an observer of our feelings rather than identifying as a participant.I am finding the book fascinating. Physical struggles however, cannot be underestimated in the way that they make us feel.You've had a lot on your plate recently, so remember to be kind to yourself. It must all feel like a roller-coaster ride in the middle of an ongoing heat-wave! Big hug to you.Keep posting!

Cheryl@Gingerbread Crafts said...

You think that with the cessation of the menstral cycle that PMS would cease to but no. I went into early menopause last year and still get regular PMS symptoms. I know it's just not being regular angry or upset because I start thinking how better I would be alone and D.I.V.O.R.C.E. pops into my mind. Regular anger doesn't do that to me.

Maybe it was just Pluto, because Thursday and Yesterday I too was filled with anger and rage. But I think that was because of ineptness of those I now have the misfortune to work with. Was so mad I was crying. AND. I. FOUND. MYSELF. TALKING. TO. MY. MANAGER. LIKE. THIS. because she is such an idiot.

I love Boiled Fruit Cake - must find my Grandmother's recipe, it made a deliciously moist cake.

laoi gaul~williams said...

i did wonder where the post was!!!

i hope things get sorted for you soon robyn~what a nightmare :(
sending you some positive vibes from this ancient forest

A bird in the hand said...

There are some herbals combinations for menopause. And things like sage tea.

I don't know about the rage though. St. John's Wort might help there.

Pluck the offending hair, and release that stress about blogs. A woman has to do what a woman has to do!


Serena said...

It certainly sounds like you're having a dreadful time with menopause. (((Hugs))) The only signs of menopause I've had the past year or two have been missed periods. I'm hoping I'll be like my Mum who went through menopause with no symptoms at all apart from losing the monthly period.

I LOVE boiled fruit cake! I have a Margaret Fulton recipe that I love but will surely try this one too.

Leanne said...

dont let blogland stress or worry you robyn, i too have many many readers/followers and very few comment so there's a disparity for me too. Who's reading, who knows all about my life, yet i dont know them? Its something we sign up to when we blog, you just have to switch that off and accept your blog as an outlet for you, but remember not to give details that wopuld compromise your safety, ie adresses etc, photos with your street name in it etc

Leanne x

Sue said...

Well, let's see...I found you because someone I don't really "know" is in the same photo a week posting group as I. I looked at her blog, and she follows you, and I went down the rabbit hole and here I am! I also "know" Serena via the same method.
As to menopause - perhaps you are trying to do this strictly naturally, and an herbalist may help. Lord knows, I wish I could do it that way, but mine was surgically induced and I don't have any hidden resources :) Rather than the premarin pills, however, I switched to an estradiol patch, and it keep everything on a more even keel. I'm in my second marriage, and want to keep this one, so decided a hormone patch was a small compromise for happy golden years! I love my patch now - and change doctors when I get one that suggests it might be time to give it up at my age!

linda may said...

Menopause madness aaaargh. Yep I know it. I won't take medicines, I do run away though and going bush helps me. By myself, to somewhere quiet and green and just sitting, looking, smelling, thinking, feeling soaking in nature. I have had a bit of a read about what is what in appropriate diets, soy, grains etc. I never seem to stick with it though.Hahahaha.

linda may said...

P.S you don't have to answer me, I know you are out there and if you are busy or indifferent that's o.k. don't worry.