what a truly blessed Samhain - a little bit on the quirky side

[I walked among the graves today.. accompanied by many an ancestor I am sure.. some of them maybe wondering what the hell i was doing]

I woke very early this morning - [4am to be exact] to Moonlight as brilliant as the sun but not as harsh.. a softness and I sat and gazed out the window remembering how Daisy loved to do the same.. the ancestors had arrived for Samhain... dozing off to sleep for awhile... this time, I woke to bird call.. so got myself out of bed, wandered out to under the pine tree & did my morning greeting of the day and as I did.. a blackbird flew right past my face.. and sat in the tree - just looking at me.. as I spoke to her, she cocked her head this way and that..yes, the ancestors were with me today to help me walk my path [the blackbird has not been seen in my garden for at least 2 weeks... the blackbird is Daisy telling me she is here with me.. she may not have been blood related in this life.. but she is certainly one of my ancestors as she was part of my tribe].

[a home crafted celtic cross and an old rusted arch on one of the old graves in Springwood cemetery]
I decorated my altar with the gathered leaves from yesterdays walk, a few walnuts & a black candle.. and of course some photos of the wise women in my family.. plus an old purse & china tea cup to represent my Nan.. and a piece of jet. I burned my last stick of Samhain incense that Daisy had sent me before she died.. [she bought it from an online shop the Goddess & the Greenman.. a beautiful scent]. You know, I am not even sure why I do this kind of thing .. I don't understand the symbolism of it all nor do I know the history of it all or the lore of it all - but when I gather bits to put on my altar, it makes me feel connected to something alot older than I am. & it resonates with my soul.

then I went for the walk around the cemetery in Springwood. I gathered sticks, sometimes looking at the headstones.. noticing the various decorations that people do for their loved ones, wondering if it was really appropriate to be taking photos in the cemetery.. but maybe people would think I was tracing my family history & I wasn't doing any harm.. just following the wheel of the year..... & I spied this across the way:

a cross, marking an otherwise insignificant grave... it took my breath away.. [what a strong sign from Daisy that she is with me..]

the soft, cool, autumn early morning sun, shining on the colouring chinese pistachio tree, chicken with port & raisins for our Samhain dinner, my altar decorated for Samhain, the celebration of the ancestors, walking in Springwood cemetery collecting sticks for kindling for the coming cold weather.. meditating holding a honey calcite crystal.. this was my day.

[old man Banksia.. growing among the graves.. a native tree of Australia ~ even he is going into autumn time]

Chicken with Port and Raisins
1/2 cup dark raisins
1 cup port wine
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
4 breasts of chicken
1 leek
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 cup heavy cream, or evaporated milk
1/4 tsp grated fresh nutmeg
1 tbsp cornstarch mixed with 1 tbsp water
Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
Fresh herbs for garnish

Soak the raisins in the port wine at least 1 hour or, preferably, overnight.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a saute pan, heat 1 tbsp of the olive oil. When hot, saute the chicken breasts on one side until golden brown. Turn the chicken over and transfer to an ovenproof dish. Bake for 10 minutes.
In the meantime, in the saute pan, heat the remaining 1 tbsp olive oil. Add the leeks and sweat them for 5 minutes. Add the vinegar and reduce until almost dry.
Stir in the raisins and their soaking liquid. Cook until the liquid is reduced by half. Add the cream or evaporated milk, nutmeg, and cornstarch mixture. Cook for 2 more minutes, but do not bring to a boil.
Adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. Spoon the sauce onto serving plates, set a chicken breast on top, and garnish with fresh herbs.
I served ours with mashed sweet potato, steamed carrots and brown rice

an autumn stroll for Full Moon

killing a few birds with one stone...and taking a stroll today for the Full Moon, a weekly walk that I have committed to with Julia Cameron's 'Walking in this world' as well as coming up to Samhain tomorrow.

I was disappointed to find that the trees were not as colourful as they should be by now. O'yarrang covered the branches.. this can be used instead of sage to smudge and cleanse.. I gathered a little for tomorrow.

I wanted to collect an array of colourful leaves for my Samhain ancestral altar but all I could find were dry brown leaves. I suppose I could have picked leaves from the branches.. but I like to leave nature to take its course.. not interrupting the flow of things. so I gathered some dry brown leaves.. after all, it is the intention, is it not?

a far cry from the gorgeous & brilliant burgundys, clarets, orange and golds from last year.

Our autumn is very mild this year.. some days are still reaching record summer temperatures... I even spotted an agapanthus flowering in a garden today.. very odd indeed...but I can relate to Mother Nature.. she seems to be having hot flushes just like I am!

a soothing voice is all it takes

early this morning, I woke up and went outside to water the vegies - a beautiful time coming up to Full Moon today & then Samhain this weekend.... after tending my plants & going back inside, dutch husband was making me a cup of tea & I casually mentioned that we needed to weed along the neighbouring fence.. he didn't know which fence i meant.. and I could feel frustration inside rising up and coming out of my mouth in hysteria [actually, it was more like mass hysteria except there is only one of me].....
all it took from him to calm me down were the words.. 'shhh, relax'.... he is good at calming my storms.

the emotional rollercoaster.. a lovely mix, Full Moon and Menopause, going hand in hand to make a woman some kind of irrational being, totally out of control of not only her bodily functions but also her emotions.. today, I even got to the point of thinking i may need some kind of counselling.. but later tonight, when I had my bath.. soaking in the herbs.. I heard my inner voice say to me : I am enough..... a lovely mantra I think. I am enough.
I have also decided to work through a book i have had for quite some time.. Walking in this world by Julia Cameron.. it kind of fell from my bookshelf this morning while I was looking for something else.. and the page fell open to 'anger'.. I took that as a strong sign from someone. so back to morning pages, artists dates and weekly walks...

home made chai latte.. white light protection under the pine tree with my Earth healing disc, crystal and a rose ~ a Full Moon Earth Healing. a blackbird on a park bench. yoga to beautiful flute music, stretching those hip joints, a cleansing lavender and sage bath and a cup [or 3] of oatstraw tea... this was my day

this menopausal journey to becoming a butterfly

you know, much as I might complain about chin hairs and moan about hot flushes.. I am actually enjoying this menopausal journey.. it is taking me back to the wise women of old.. the wise women who use to brew their teas just like I am doing each night with my oatstraw tea.. where I measure dried oatstraw into a flask, pour hot water over it, seal it and leave it infuse overnight, to be sipped throughout the next day to help soothe my adrenals..

I love reading up on crystals that may help my anger & past life issues that are surfacing.. finding those crystals and healing myself much like the village wise women did in times past. And that bloodstone is actually a very good crystal to use for menopause.. so I tuck one into my medicine bag that I carry on my waist.

I love that my reiki healing is coming to use once again in the healing of my own body. I am sure that I am being prodded to use this healing gift that i have long ignored.

I love that I am discovering that my base chakra is actually linked to my adrenals & the solar plexus is the liver which are the organs often connected to menopause.. and that if I go and sit on Mother Earth each day, she will help me through my menopause as I can help her through her change of life that she seems to be going through at the moment too... very connected to each other...

I love finding that cedarwood and lavender essential oils may sooth my shattered nervous system and bring it into balance or to use dried sage and lavender in a bath.. or if really stressed, use an oatstraw bath to soothe the menopausal nerves.

and as I discover each of these and much more folk lore, I am finding that I am actually more intune with my body than ever before...

so instead of fighting this 'change of my life'.. why not embrace it? like my Nan use to say.. if you can't beat it, join it.. and my Nan is yet another wise butterfly in my life, even if she is on the other side

[I see myself walking through life, not as I look now, but as a village wise woman, with a bag of herbs and crystals on her waist. dressed in a brown robe with a rope tie around her waist.. going about her business, gathering herbs to dry]

[the first post is up at Villa Maria..dutch husband and I made a quick visit tonight, but it was overwhelming for me to see how much work we really need to do.. my first reaction was: 'what have I done?'.. but as I walked through the house, discussing renovations & design & colours, I could feel the excitement returning.. and once i go back in the daylight and see the garden, I am sure all will be ok.. sometimes, I wonder why I do this to myself.. but it is all good. all as it should be]

collecting butterflies

today we jumped on the back of the Harley and went south, for a ride.. to a little town on the seaside called Berry.

met up with friends, Carol & Rob who had ridden down to meet us.

[Carol, isn't she beautiful? she has the most divine brilliant blue eyes]
Carol is 10yrs older than me and is becoming a fast friend..another butterfly in my life. a wise woman.
[Susun Weed advises that a woman going through menopause should have female friends who are older, whom you want to grow up to be, who don't take hormones..Daisy was another and funnily enough the last thing she sent me before she died was a butterfly mobile.. she obviously knew I would be needing it]

[butterfly woman from Daisy's blog]

Carol and I wandered through the crystal shops.. I was looking for a lepidolite pendant. the crystals really affected my energies.. I needed something to eat, to ground myself. so lunch it was along with a glass of champagne [found out that was not a good idea for menopause, brings on hot flushes].. after lunch we went to another shop to try on a moonstone ring.. and the first one I tried on fitted perfectly! Plus they had a gorgeous lepidolite pendant... it was like I was led there by persons unseen.

the shop owner and I began to talk and our words got around to menopause [as it often does these days.. when others notice me fanning myself furiously].. and she told me that she had gone to see Amma,the Hugging Saint and that she had been sitting fanning herself furiously just like was and throwing off her clothes.. an old indian lady leaned across to her, didn't say a word and sprayed rose water on the inside of her elbows and proceeded to pour about a quarter of a cup of the water over her head.. she said it cooled her down immediately.. and she said that the indian woman had given her the bottle and it goes everywhere with her now.. [more butterflies in the guise of wise advice from women]... it seems that I am being helped alot in this kind of way.. and I like it. I like that I am accepting the wise ways of the ancestors.. hard as it is with these symptoms.. it kind of makes me feel like I am connected to a very big web of wise women.. YOU included

[tomorrow, I do believe we will be getting the key to Villa Maria.. finally it will be ours!]