Tales of Inglewood

Farewell to Inglewood

2010-08-15T16:26:00.001+10:00

[the removalists arrived bright and early]
I was excited, at last, moving to Villa Maria! something i had dreamed of for weeks..

[piece, by piece they took the furniture to the truck]

[bit, by bit, they filled the truck with my treasures]

[and emptied the house]
and as the house emptied, I pondered on the magick that was Inglewood.. I realized that the magick was me... and I could take it wherever I go

[leaving nothing much of me, but the words I had painted on the wall...]
the last day as I gardened at Inglewood, it started to rain. was Heaven shedding a tear? wonderful rain, watering the garden as it had since before my time there & it will continue after I move on..

[yes, farewell Inglewood].....
and now I live here : Villa Maria taking a little while to settle in, but I know I will get there....

how hard will it be?

2010-07-21T10:08:00.003+10:00

to leave Woodford?
to say goodbye to Inglewood?
to close Tales of Inglewood?

Inglewood has been my heart home for 10yrs. the place where I found out I had cancer and went through treatments. the place where Sophie grew up from a girl of 10 to a young lady of 21- the place where my eldest daughter was married from. *wedding day*
the home which saw the birth of three of my grandsons.
the place where I started to blog at Daily parcels *cleaning timber floors* ..[how did I know back then that I would be needing a recipe for a wooden floor cleaner?]..Daily Parcels was a simple blog..my very first...
my home Inglewood: where I 'met' my online friends, where I lost & grieved for Daisy...
& what will I miss about Inglewood? I will miss the garden, the changing seasons. I will miss the birds: currawongs, choughs and my friend the Magpie with the sore foot. I will miss how the home wraps itself around me every time I walk through the door.

Woodford is a glorious mid mountains village. not much here except a post office. the general store closed years ago. 10 yrs in a life of a village in the mountains is alot these days. the roads have got busier and now there is a highway being built across the way.
the road where I live was once dirt, now it is kerbed and guttered.
next door to Inglewood where once stood a vacant block of land is a new home. *save faeries*
a home where city folk have moved. those kind who use airconditioning instead of wood fires to keep warm.
so much has changed.
what will I miss about Woodford? I will miss seeing a trickle of smoke coming from someone's home in winter time.. I will miss the eccentricity that is Woodford. the climate that is Woodford. I will miss the chilly cold days.. I will miss the mists that Woodford is known for. I will miss the magick of Woodford

and this beautiful blog. the blog where I moved to when Daisy died. where I have bared my heart and soul. .. will be sad to leave.. but it is really the end of this chapter in my life. I have grown alot. still searching, but a soul peace has settled over me. thank God....
[i may be without internet service for a time (dutch husband is organising the disconnection today).. not sure how long.. when I come back, I will be at Villa Maria full time - both online and in real life]

we move on Friday

2010-07-20T08:40:00.000+10:00

yes, this Friday, the removalist truck will come and take all the large furniture to Villa Maria. Friday night will be our first night in our new home..

I am at the last of the packing.. you know all those bits that you really don't know if you want to keep or not. so you put them into a pile in the middle of the floor, stepping around and over them. trying to ignore they are there, but all the while knowing you will have to deal with it eventually.

I play on facebook for a little light relief and go to Avis & Bills place for a cup of tea and a break.

My spiritual life is suffering. badly. I am not taking time to sit in silence. I feel completely disconnected from the Divine. I am a mix of emotions - excitement & sadness. But most of all I am tired. absolutely exhausted.

forgive me for not visiting your blogs..

if I don't see you

2010-07-12T10:36:00.005+10:00

at the moment, I am overwhelmed. with packing & renovating, cleaning & trying to stay sane amidst chaos.. burning lavender oil but no music because my iPod is down at Villa Maria

I wander around from room to room, trying to find a starting place.. overwhelmed with the mammoth task ahead of me, trying to keep Inglewood tidy so that my mind doesn't feel like a jumble sale... and I am tired. over whelmingly tired.. so if I don't visit.. you will know where to find me... amongst the boxes & tissue paper sound asleep.

[I am still blogging sporadically here.. and at Villa Maria as things get done.. but visiting even more sparsley. for this, I am sorry. *and I found my wedding ring, tucked under a little crevice in my lounge chair.]

tempers run high, lost things ..oh my ~ telling it how it is in my life today.

2010-07-05T07:51:00.005+10:00

they say that selling & moving house is one of the top things on the stress list. Right up there with death & divorce. Add to that, renovating.. well as you can imagine, tempers are snapping here.. tension between the gorgeous dutch husband and moi... but they flare and go down just as quickly which is a good thing. But I tell you.. there are moments when I feel like running away. to be by myself.

*sigh* such is life.

a disorganised house with half packed boxes.. stuff in piles to go to the bin. more piles to go to Vinnies and amidst that, I am supposed to keep the housework done. I walk around looking at all I have to pack & wonder why the hell i have all of this stuff. why? why collect bits & bits & bits..

a mother who is ready to move into aged care, but there is a delay. so I have her on the phone every day telling me that her whole life has been disappointment, after disappointment.. and this delay is just another one.. she is used to disappointments.. she never expects anything else. so she tells me.

my head is going to explode.

a 21yr old daughter, who believes she is a princess and thinks that packing and moving is just going to 'happen'.

I look at the garden at Inglewood & wish i could go outside to bury my hands into the earth. But it is freezing [well freezing for Australian standards]..so I stay inside.. still feeling like I want to run away somewhere. to be alone. somewhere sacred, where I can lay on Mother Earth & be enveloped by her earthiness, by her peace & tranquility. hugged by her arms. I imagine a deep forest, where rain is falling gently & the smell of wet leaves... I just want to be there. surrounded by ancient rocks.. anywhere but here in the midst of chaos.

& have lost my wedding ring after taking it off to rub Arnica cream into my poor hands
I could cry.

my first prayer flags ~

2010-06-29T21:26:00.000+10:00

in between packing, renovating Villa Maria and tending Inglewood.. I have finally made a start on my prayer flags.. so far I have made two with 2 others half completed. I was going to make 7 but 5 is the number I am to make. .. not sure why but 5 kept popping into my head.

the turtle was the first one I created.. trying to create these in the way of our indigenous people of Australia. my squares are 10" square & I will sew them onto tape to hang in my apple tree

[the fish is my second]

the other thing that I feel I must do is kick start the Earth Healing blog Earth Healing and Nurturing. Unfortunately, I lost the list of participants .. so if you were on my list as an Earth Healer, please email me [I will posting there soon..] ~ as well as creating flags for the Gulf, I have also decided to create one for Mother Earth..

and one more thing.. it looks like we may be moving in about 3 - 4 weeks so you can imagine how busy I am.. finishing the renovation is tiring work, i have aching muscles in my legs from up & down the stairs, my arms are becoming very fit & toned & my back aches dreadfully.. and then we have my mother moving to aged care in the next week or so & it is up to dutch husband I to do that AND we are selling our business.. dutch husband has to finalize over 30yrs of work in 6 weeks... I am trying to visit blogs & I am sorry if I don't get around as often as I usually do... and if I don't get to yours.. give me a prod..

working magick

2010-06-25T12:19:00.001+10:00

at Inglewood? ~ my snowdrops are flowering.. lots of lemons, oranges and limes. a list to take cuttings/seeds/& snippets from my garden: welsh onions, borage, feverfew, yarrow, comfrey, nasturtiums, calendula & russian garlic.

but onto the magick..

you know, I didn't think I was doing anything special when I posted the prayer for the Gulf.. nor did I even think that I could be working magick... but it seems I was [well, not me really ~ I was but a tool....] You see, Ruth posted it on her blog let's pray for the Gulf ..

she emailed me to tell me I was working magick..comments on her post:
Love, Love LOVE IT!!! Have sent it on to all my friends and will be recreating with the children tomorrow morning.
&
I belong to the Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids. I have copied your blog entry and posted it on the message board. It could now potentially be seen by 10,000 members!
I made my prayer flags today by gathering ribbons and writing the names of every creature I could think of along their length.
The children have drawn pictures of happy birds and fish on a card which I have laminated and added as a tag.
This is a fabulous idea. Thank you for writing about it.

and Ninnie ~ going through chemo herself for breast cancer.. still took time to sit with her grandchildren to create prayer flags.. Ninnie's prayer flags

so you see... this is really rippling out there.

and as Master Jesus said:

Again, I tell you that if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

draw a heart around the Gulf.

2010-06-23T15:57:00.007+10:00

when I first 'met' Sr.K through blogging, she talked about drawing hearts around people or events.. and I loved that idea.. I began to do the same.. and then I was taken with this blog : RIPPLE sketches & I decided to create a little piece of art along the lines of the Ripple project..

what I did was this: I found an old map of the Gulf [I used an old encyclopedia, but it is easy to find one on the net as well].. drew a heart around the area and then created a collage - postcard size.. I will put it in my Soul Journal along with the Gulf Prayer... magick happens when I do this.. things manifest even if I close that journal and forget about it.. Shakti Gawain calls them treasure maps...

wanna join me in this? draw a heart around the Gulf!!

prayer flags for the gulf ~ create for yourself.

2010-06-19T20:12:00.001+10:00

while having a shower this morning.. in gorgeous clean water.. [very much different to the animals & fish in the Gulf at the moment]..

my mind always wanders while showering.. off it goes! i was thinking about the Gulf prayer and how it was being said all over the world...probably one every moment.. constant prayer..and then prayer flags came to mind..

i have been wanting to make some for myself since I had the breast cancer scare [people made them for me all over the world & hung them in their gardens]..

I am going to make a string of 7 flags.. for the poor dolphins, egrets and many other animals & birds that are suffering.. the backgrounds will be in various plain ocean & seaside colours..on each flag a different sea animal or bird will be represented..[I am thinking maybe in an aboriginal style art] and there will be one white flag in the middle on which I am going to write the Gulf prayer ~ the whole string of them will hang them in my garden here at Inglewood.. and every time, the wind blows.. that prayer will be carried off.. when I go to Villa Maria.. I will take them with me..

wanna join me in this? make yourself some prayer flags to hang in the garden, on a tree or on a balcony.. share this on your blog... every prayer flag helps..

PRAYER FOR THE GULF - Dr. Masaru Emoto - Prayer WORKS!!! Let's perform a Miracle!!

2010-06-18T21:53:00.003+10:00

the following was taken from Godlike Productions, something I stumbled across while searching for info about the Gulf [I don't normally post things like this, but I feel so strongly about what I read.. we CAN do something.... [I think I might create some art for this]

'We do Know that prayer works and when 1 or more are joined it is stronger. May we use all the ways we can be helpful to help heal the earth and us.'

Dr. Masaru Emoto is the scientist from Japan who has done all the research and publications about the characteristics of water. Among other things, his research revealed that water physically responds to emotions. Dr. Emoto did experiments where words like love and joy were written on bottles of water and other words like hate and anger were written on others. The bottles of water with kind words formed crystals while the bottles with angry words did not. What does it mean? I believe it means that rocks and trees... and even the water out at sea responds to our intentions...
Many people have the predominantly angry emotion when we consider what is happening in the Gulf. And while justified in that emotion, we may be of greater assistance to our planet and its life forms if we sincerely, powerfully and humbly pray the prayer that Dr. Emoto, himself, has proposed.

I am passing this request to people I believe may be willing to participate in this prayer, to set an intention of love and healing that is so large, so overwhelming that we can perform a miracle in the Gulf of Mexico.
We are not powerless. We are powerful.

Our united energy, speaking this prayer daily...multiple times daily...can literally shift the balance of destruction that is happening.We don't have to know how...we just have to recognize that the power of love is greater than any other power active in the Universe today.
Prayer for Gulf ~ A beautiful, meaningful prayer from Godlike Productions:

"I send the energy of love and gratitude to the waters and all living creatures
in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings.
To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish, planktons,
corals, algae ... to ALL living creatures ... I am sorry.
Please forgive me. Thank you.
I Love You."

Please join me in often repeating this Healing Prayer by Dr. Emoto's.
Feel free to send it around the planet [post this on your own blog if you wish]. Lets take charge ... and do our own clean up.!

3 years ago

2010-06-15T20:07:00.004+10:00

3yrs ago
Daisy came to visit me in my dreams.. I saw her standing beside my bed as if she was at the beginning of a road, her hair was blowing gently in a wind and she was surrounded by a white mist..
little did I know where that road was taking her.. until I woke and turned on my computer.. reading frantic email after email from friends telling me to go to her blog.. some saying how sorry they were.. and of course, what had happened, was that my best friend, my soul sister, one of my tribe had passed away during the night. I was absolutely gutted.. at that time I was prepared to fly to the funeral.. but looking back, I am so glad that I didn't.. I spoke to her daughter Sweet-Pea on the phone a few times during that week .. grasping at straws trying to make sense of it all.. it was surreal. 3 years have passed..

oneday, i am going to visit Daisy's family at Dene Cottage.. where I will meet her new baby grandson, Oliver.

it has been a long, long grieving process for me and I am still not 'there' yet.. nearly every single day i think of her - sometimes with such a raw grief that it is like yesterday..

a week or so after Daisy died, I stopped blogging at Wednesdays Child and moved to Tales of Inglewood.. where I went through alot of 'morphing' to where I am today. I still miss her many daily emails, I still miss her Sabbat gifts. I just miss knowing she is there... but good always comes from sad.. and I have met other new friends.. and cemented quite a few others to a lovely strong friendship.. and to each and every one who visits here, I say thankyou.. for being here for me when I have needed you.
grieving for Daisy ~ oh god I miss her blog posts

today, I have felt lost and an underlying sadness is in my soul.. I fight that sadness.. but all I feel like doing is sobbing.. I pour a bath and sit, tears trickling down my cheeks.. how long does grief last ?

time out for a little bit of art

2010-06-14T19:59:00.002+10:00

according to ancient wisdom.. one must stop to smell the flowers, take time out... and I am doing that amidst packing & renovating ~ blogging is my respite, my time out from all the work that is to be done..

this morning while hanging the washing out on the clothes line.. i did just that.. I bent over and took time with the flowers.. a gorgeous little calendula - a pot marigold, self seeded between bricks and rocks.. oh this so reminded me of Daisy..not sure why.. note to self: must take some seeds for the garden at Villa Maria

the vegies are growing steadily at Inglewood.. celery, leeks, beetroot, peas and lettuce. I most probably won't get to harvest the leeks but might be lucky enough to get some peas and the beets will be ready soon.

remember the doll paper doll swap that I joined in a few weeks back.. well I forgot to show my doll.. she has flown across the sea to a place unknown to me as yet..

I also joined in Janet's 6 x 6 swap and these were finished last night and hopefully be put in the mail this week [among other various packages]..

and then there is my art studio here at Inglewood.. for Judie..

my art desk.. an absolute mess. i do tidy it up, truly I do.. but the creative frenzy starts and well.. this is what happens

I love the door. we found it somewhere once while trawling the renovation yards.. the coloured glass is brilliant. I hope to be able to have doors like this throughout Villa Maria when we eventually get around to renovating that part of the home.. I don't want anything to match. a mis-match hodge-podge magickal place to live.. that will be Villa Maria.

thoughts from today

2010-06-13T21:51:00.000+10:00

I love blogging. I really do. at the moment i am living two lives.
one at Inglewood, where I am taking things down from walls much like un-decorating a christmas tree. I wander around my garden, gathering bits - statues, wall plaques, pots & other things that dutch husband and I have collected over the years, and each one holds a memory.. I look at my garden with different eyes, a bittersweet time.. remembering when we first bought the house and all we have done to the garden.. but there is an underlying excitement of course with the life to come at Villa Maria. .. but like I said, it is really like taking decorations down at Christmas time
then I pack it all into my car and take it down to Villa Maria where it sits until I have time to find a home for each and every piece of garden art. what I cannot find a home for will be given away to friends..
Villa Maria, the other part of my life.. where I go each day and renovate.. pulling up carpet, cleaning out cupboards, pruning trees.. [and of course you can read about that at Stories from Villa Maria.....]

today at Woodford we had a frost.. and the oranges will be really sweet, ready to eat.. I will leave some on the tree for the new owners.. I can just imagine their excitement about picking their own fruit.. what a life they have to look forward to!

[I am visiting blogs, as I can ~ trying to run two homes at once and also moving my mother into aged care in the next few weeks, is quite a daunting task.. so if I don't visit please don't think i have forgotten you.. I will be by as I can.. ]

well, it has happened

2010-06-09T20:32:00.002+10:00

today, we received an offer on our home Inglewood.. and we accepted. Not exactly what we were asking but with the world market as it is.. we thought it is better to sell than wait .. plus the woman has fallen in love with the home.. and that is all that matters to me...
contracts were exchanged tonight and there is a 10 day cooling off period just incase minds are changed... dutch husband & I have 6 weeks to pack 10yrs of living at Inglewood.. and move it all to Villa Maria.. chooks and all.

today at Inglewood

2010-06-08T08:12:00.000+10:00

the real estate agent thanked me for the way I present Inglewood for showing prospective buyers... he just doesn't get it.. I do this kind of thing all the time for myself.

the little finches are back. the winter finches who flit from branch to branch in my garden, disovering insects that have been left exposed by the fallen autumn leaves. a winter finch breakfast delight!

the capsicum have almost finished only one more on the plant that I will use for pizza and then the plant will be left to rest until summer time.. for the new owners of Inglewood whoever they may be.

the bush peas have flowers, the swedes are slow, celery is coming along fine. the lime & lemon trees are heavily laden and the oranges are just about bursting off the tree.. and the tamarillos continue to supply fruit rich with vitamin C.

it is cold but sunny, the washing blows in the breeze. as I clean the bathroom, I can hear the currawongs calling in the distant valley.. my soul sighs with contentment.

winter is here and even St.Francis is kept warm.. a scarf of mine hangs around his neck, while he holds produce from the garden..

[don't forget to check Villa Maria.. I do update that often]

I'm gonna share some art..

2010-06-04T20:16:00.009+10:00

a few days ago, I had an urge to paint [and let me say here; I don't paint.. I have dabbled a little but faces or people are not something that i have been taught].. I wanted to do a child-like painting that I had done many years ago while at school.. you know, one of those people with big heads, little legs and colourful clothes.. so I started to paint.. starting with a background of gesso and stenciling etc, etc.. then I used a page from an old encyclopedia to make the face and painted over that with a kind of opal pearl paint. and a funny thing happened as I looked at it.. a face appeared.. the eyes and mouth were there but no nose.. so I played with some brown paint and filled in facial features.. then got going with the hair, dress etc...left it for the night & came back to it after dreaming that I had to collage 'something' to the piece of art work.. so I went through my gatherings of magazine cuttings that I have collected over the years and found a stone rose and a little bird [is it a robin?]... and this is what eventuated from my creative streak:

[it isn't 'perfect' [the crown is crooked among other things] I am my own worst critic.. but I like this piece of art that I created.. the eyes follow me around the room.. very odd]

had an interesting comment on my previous post about selling Inglewood
in part: 'Try to remember, you are selling a roof and walls - not a lifestyle.
Don't take it personally if your taste and ways are not to others liking. This is a business transaction and whoever buys it (even if they are your type of people) will still change things you would never think of. Inglewood will sell when you detach your lifestyle from the house and attach it to Villa Maria. De-clutter and give some one else a blank canvas.'

thankyou Carol C.. [and maybe I am on the defensive here] but unless you have either been here to my home or been following my blog for sometime.. you can't really know that Inglewood IS a lifestyle, not just a house & I cannot detach myself from it until I move - the garden cannot be detached from, it needs to be tended & nurtured & loved, until i leave it ~ our home here is being sold as a mountains cottage which lends itself to the clutter and decorating style & we have been instructed to leave it as is. I totally understand that people will change it when they move in - we always do. we put our stamp on our homes as most people do. Inglewood will sell when it is divine right planning.. not when I detach myself.

[new post at Villa Maria]

don't give up on me..

2010-06-02T20:43:00.002+10:00

at the moment.. I am in quiet time.. and I worry that my blogging friends will think I have disappeared and stop visiting Inglewood.. I have been journalling alot.. working through Walking in this World is bringing up alot of things to sift through & also opening up my creative self.. so I am painting and collaging, writing poetry and other such stuff.. and it feels good and is fun.. [I will share when I work up the courage to put that part of myself out here]
And, I have been occupied with a few online workshops..

story telling & collage with True North Arts..

I also joined Barb Kobe's Medicine Doll Workshop

& then joined an online Art community

so you can see that I have been busy, busy ~
working through Julia Cameron book always seems to open up a whole lot of new worlds for me.. and with my work at Villa Maria.. well, life is full.

I will admit I have also been a little in the doldrums with Inglewood still not selling.. it actually saddens me that no-one has come along and fallen in love with the home... I feel as if I have created something that only I like.. with Imagine painted on the wall, the extensive gardens and the eccentricity of the home, have i created an unsellable home? Dutch husband says no.. we made a silly mistake with the real estate agent.. the contract is up soon and we will go to one closer to Woodford .. I am trying so hard to remember that everything is being orchestrated as planned in the Heavens, but sometimes, I feel well.. i guess lost is the word.. does that make sense?
[thanks for not giving up on me xoxo ~ I love that you still come by even though I am not visiting you as much.. I will, I really promise.. but just right now, I must honour my soul]
[there will be a new post at Villa Maria tomorrow - I took photos tonight of some more work we have done]

it's been awhile

2010-05-29T20:41:00.001+10:00

it has been awhile, hasn't it? I have been going through a very quiet time.. maybe I am intune with the seasons..but I have been doing alot of inner work & learning quite a few things about myself.. lessons in life, you could say.
we had a lovely few days away & returned home to rain.. and it has been raining on and off ever since.

I have been taking part in a couple of online workshops - True North Arts 'storytelling collage' & have recently joined Barb Kobe's Medicine Doll workshop..as well as working through "Walking in this world" - it may seem alot.. but surprisingly or not, they seem to interlace with each other . I am still in two minds whether to share here or not.. I have learnt that I must trust my own inner guidance on the art work..

while we were away, I was in the company of some amazing trees.. complimentary of Mother Nature..

I went walking one morning and came across this tree.. I just had to take Joe back so I could get a photo of me hugging it. the bark was amazing

I actually gathered some of the fallen bark. it can be used in art work. the Aboriginal people of Australia, used the bark for many of their baskets and in many other ways. it is brilliant.

Goddess Tree. this tree stood out to me, as soon as I saw it.. a lovely, lovely energy

have my blogging days come to an end? I don't know.. I will visit as I can & my posts, well we shall see what happens.

off for a few days

2010-05-20T21:48:00.002+10:00

dutch husband & I are off on a little adventure.. riding up the north coast for the weekend..
I have been rather quiet as I have been working through Walking in this World.. & as Julia Cameron tends to do.. stuff has been coming up for me so I am doing a bit of inner work.. have joined the collage workshop as well as a medicine doll workshop with Barb Kobe..

I finally found a naturopath who I am comfortable with.. I had a long session with her today and she is of the school where no supplements are taken but heal yourself with whole foods.. a very positive lady who shares recipes and herbs from her garden with her clients.. I came home with an armful of kaffir lime leaves and quite a few recipe ideas! she also said to make myself a mix of clary sage & geranium essential oils in a carrier oil to rub onto my breasts and ovary areas to help with the night sweats.. and 'ordered' me to do yoga at least 3 times a week.. [she is yet another butterfly in my life now.. very compassionate and warm.. just what my soul needs at this moment in time..] oh and buckwheat pancakes for breakfast & home made sushi for lunch.. looks like I will be cooking quite a bit. fun. looking after myself with food, creating for myself.. treating myself with love & care..

busy, busy, trying to sell Inglewood

2010-05-16T20:32:00.002+10:00

the past week has been busy - we had an open day on Saturday at Inglewood and the past week I have been getting the home ready.. I tend to go a little overboard.. wanting everything to be perfect...
plus working through Walking in this World and the online story collage workshop.. well, I am sure you get what I am saying.

Inglewood has been on the market officially for 2 months and it is slow..
we have had about 5 viewings. the first one, I have my suspicions about.. a woman and her sister came to look and adored it and raved about the home & wanted to come back for another view with her husband [that is the feedback from the real estate] - when the real estate tried to contact her, she had given a false number.. I am beginning to believe that it could have been a reader of this blog, sticky beaking.. just a gut feeling I have.. a very strong one. and that bothers me. but not much I can do about it.

what I am trying to do is trust - trust in the order of things.. that it is all being orchestrated in the heavens to bring the new owner to Inglewood.

I am wanting desperately to move to Villa Maria and even though i keep telling myself that all will happen in divine time according to the divine plan.. my impatience is getting the better of me..
but then of course, if Inglewood sells right at this very minute, I would be panicking as our new home is no where near ready to move into..
I do believe patience and trust [as well as loving myself] are two of my biggest lessons in this life.. will I ever learn?

today as I drove up the road to Inglewood.. about 4pm.. the autumn sun was beginning to go behind the mountain and I gasped as I looked at our maple trees that line the road. the colours were absolutely brilliant...

the liquid amber is performing brilliantly this year. I will rake the leaves and take them to Villa Maria to enrich the poor dead soil.

this lipstick maple is brilliant. autumn is gorgeous in the mountains.. once the days become cold.. the trees put on an autumnal colour splash...
and now.. off you can go to Villa Maria & read about my Sunday there..

some collage art ~ journey work

2010-05-13T21:10:00.009+10:00

this is my first collage in the online workshop that I have joined ~ [at first, I hesitated to post this but sometimes, comments help me work through things]

[a call to journey]..
and my interpretation:
*the staircase reminds me of the one in my grandma's home. we weren't allowed to go up them & the door was always locked
*the little girl on the stairs is me, I know
*the quince on the stairs reminds me of a uterus, I wonder if this has any connection to the hysterectomy.
*have no idea why the bed, the old woman or the shirt are there in the picture nor do I know what the house signifies. the bed does remind me of my grandmas bed.
*the Goddess I had in my collection and had forgotten about it until I started gathering for this collage. after studying it, I saw the celtic cross made of wheat in her hand and realised it was Brigid. the celtic Goddess of healing, childbirth, inspiration & inner healing.

[the 'quince uterus' on the stairs. I seem to be ready to walk past it and leave it behind (the anger & bitterness that goes along with all that happened is going to be left behind too)].
I am going up the stairs towards the door and didn't notice until last night that there are lights behind the door.. and maybe the bed means that once I leave the anger & bitterness behind, I will be able to find rest [the bed]...

a few weeks ago, I went to my acupuncturist -..she said that the area where my uterus was is very cold & that alot of my anger is repressed and could be connected to my hysterectomy as well as the menopause.. and maybe I didn't grieve when I had the operation .. and suggested a ritual, although late, to move through it..so what to do?
how does one go about doing a little personal ritual for this kind of thing?.. I ask this because I know that one of you, my wise women friends will have a suggestion or even I can take bits from all the suggestions and come up with one just for me..

tugs at my heart?

2010-05-11T21:47:00.001+10:00

why is it that today while working in my journal for this weeks Walking in this World..
cutting and pasting into my journal,
playing happily..
that I get an overwhelming sense of loss and grief over Daisy... will I always grieve for her? it came from no-where.. she popped into my mind and my heart began to ache...I felt lost.

then later tonight, while watching River Cottage - [Hugh was cooking for some friends] & the word 'tea' was mentioned.. and it tugged at my heart as that is what my Pa called dinner...

these little feelings of loss have me perplexed.. why all of a sudden do these kind of things pop into ones mind?

jus' bits of my weekend

2010-05-10T21:42:00.001+10:00

not much happening here at Inglewood.. I worked really solidly in the garden, all day Saturday ~ just generally tidying up.. and some of today was spent in my vegie garden.. all the autumn vegies are growing well. Dinner tonight is simple.. roasted capsicum & pumpkin soup [both vegies from my own garden], served with Croque Monsieur [which is pretty much a toasted ham & cheese sandwich].. a perfect meal for a cool autumn night.. dutch husband came home late as he is doing some work at Villa Maria ..
an old, old recipe i had saved from when I first became a mum - 35yrs ago..

I have had such fun creating my little paper doll for the swap.. I spent quite a few hours, playing happily with paper and glue. I cannot share her just yet.. but once the recipient has received her, I will surely post a photo.
over the weekend, I tidied up my art space so that I had an orderly space to work through Walking in this World [and by the way.. Tales of Inglewood may, over the next few weeks, have glimpses into this journey.. hope you don't mind! but sometimes, I do tend to use my blog as a place to sort out my head stuff]

a new post at Villa Maria!

[oh and did you know, that it is now a year since Paul died? hasn't that gone quickly!PAUL]

synchronicity

2010-05-08T21:30:00.003+10:00

alot has been happening in my life or rather in my journey the past few days..

last week, I began to work through Walking in this World (Julia Cameron) -
visiting my friend Tinks blog, I noticed a gorgeous round robin she was involved with. my heart sighed with longing - I so wanted to do something creative.. but I am not good at getting started... so I emailed Tink, and asked her if she ever came across a round robin or a swap that she thought i might be interested in, then could she email me - I said please [of course].. and two days ago in my inbox was an email from Tink, telling me of a paper doll swap [funny, because just last week while journalling, I had remembered how I loved to play with those paper dolls. my nan would buy me a book of them.. the doll and a whole wardrobe of clothes - in paper and I would cut them out carefully and spend hours playing.. they were all kept in a little plastic suitcase - long gone]...

I followed the link and the swap is a Guardian paper doll swap [right up my alley!!] and of course I signed up..
.. but not only that, I discovered another world.. by following a link on the sidebar I found a collage group .. and I signed up for that too!!! - this is all absolute synchronicity.. no doubt about that.

and this morning, the anniversary of my dad's death - a kookaburra [my dad's favourite bird] sat outside my window while I did my morning pages...

and then, when I was eating my breakfast.. a magpie dug for worms outside in the garden, looking for his breakfast... him & I connected in that moment, by the simple task of eating our breakfast. I worked hard in my garden today at Inglewood.. but I can feel the garden pulling back from me.. kind of disconnecting.. that is a good thing.. I think Inglewood and all it is, is ready to embrace the next owners.. I trust that it is all under control & everything is being orchestrated, in the heavens.
[ps - something is working because my hot flushes and night sweats are lessening. but the joints are aching now.. but that is ok.. I can deal with that!]

whoa another hot flush

2010-05-04T21:10:00.001+10:00

today was a mixed bag of sorts.. I was supposed to go for a walk with my friend Bea, to Minnehaha Falls [an aboriginal women's sacred place] to do a little ritual to help me with my anger /rage that I have been feeling..
over the past few days, I have been doing alot of journalling and 'work on self'.. and Bea, being yet another one of my butterflies.. offered to do the ritual with me.. but upon arrival at her home, she was suffering dreadfully from menopausal women's problems, herself.. so we sat and had tea on her shady verandah instead.. and she proceeded to don her Feng Shui hat when I told her about the numbers thing with my home(s) - those 8's. 1's and 9's..... .. [I am not sure what I think of this Feng Shui business]..
tried to work out which element I am but became confused and ended up being either Earth or Metal.. still not sure. does it matter? but i did think twice when Bea exclaimed loudly 'don't paint your home pink! stay away from pinks and apricots!'... and of course now I will, me, being who I am .. don't like to upset the feng shui elements. so back to the drawing board on colours for Villa Maria... I am leaning towards a mushroom with either purple or blue shutters and door..

my plan for today was to take my inner little girl out after our planned walk and buy her a gift to celebrate.. but my inner little girl is not one who likes to sit and blow bubbles or draw alot [she finds it hard to play].. so I took her to the nursery and bought her an indoor plant.. very feng-shui -ish... [the little girl that was me long time ago, loved to play outside among the plants..and had many friends among the leaves and flowers]

while I was at the nursery choosing the plant and admiring the many water features and the gorgeous wind chimes, I could feel the heat building up inside, i flung my coat to the floor, exclaimed loudly 'menopausal flush'... and proceeded to fan myself furiously with one of their brochures... the woman behind the counter, who I know quite well, turned and said to me 'don't ya hate that.. it has been happening to me for years.. I don't think I will ever get through it'.... - thankyou very much I thought to myself.. - years ?! . I only wanted weeks or at worst case scenario, months... but years ? oh puhlease....
[today, while washing up at the kitchen sink, I looked out the window and the resident Magpie with the sore leg was digging for worms with his beak while 7 crimson rosellas nibbled at the grass seeds nearby.. each in their own little world but sharing it with others]

chasing Mary or the day I nearly burned down a mission

2010-05-03T21:18:00.001+10:00

I thought that because it is the month of Mary.. I would tell you of yet another time that I went in search of her..

I had read of Our Lady of Guadalupe somewhere once.. and decided that I would visit the shrine when I went to America. but silly me didn't realize that this particular Guadalupe was in Mexico.. I did find Guadalupe in California somewhere, though.. not the same..

so instead, we drove to San Francisco to see the missions that we had also heard about.. quite a funny scenario actually.. dutch husband, myself & 3 children age 12, 7 and baby Sophie in a pram .. traipsing to the missions - (it was more like me racing all over the place and them following behind wondering what the hell I was doing now), through some, let's say undesirable areas..
completely oblivious because I was on a mission of my own. to light a candle in an ancient church for my friend Bernadette who was dying of breast cancer at the time.. finally found our way to the mission and dutch husband took the children out into the herb garden while I prayed..
I bought a taper and proceeded to light a votive.. all went according to plan until I tried to blow the taper out and it would not go out.. it kept burning, with me blowing frantically on the flame.. shaking it and blowing.. I turned round to find dutch husband videoing me.. by this time the flame was quite big and all I could think of was burning this 200yrs old mission to the ground. so I threw the taper onto the floor and stomped on it... anyhow.. candle was lit and I went out and wandered the herb garden for awhile and then began the walk back to our 'home' - a hotel somewhere in San Francisco... back through the undesirable parts, [not knowing they were undesirable at the time.]. - a taxi screeched to a stop and the taxi driver said to us..'what the hell are you doing walking this neighbour hood? get in, I will take you where you want to go'... he didn't want paying, but we gave him a tip.... many times like that in our world travels.. being totally oblivious to the dangers of where we are.. not sure if I would do it now ... maybe Mary was protecting us.

and you know what? I cannot for the life of me remember the name of that Mission.
[hope you enjoyed that little story.. ]

the month of Mary

2010-05-01T21:52:00.003+10:00

May 1st, the month of Mary & my first full day at Villa Maria - .. well, not living there [that won't happen until we sell Inglewood], but working & renovating. there is a post at Villa Maria about my day [link in my sidebar]...

there are many similarities to Inglewood & Villa Maria.. this time 10yrs ago we received the key to Inglewood and began renovations. Inglewood at the time was no.81, Villa Maria is no.18...[and others which will come to mind over the next months I am sure]...
so to the month of Mary... Villa Maria will have a shrine built in honour of Mary [dutch husband is going to build it for me] and my plan is to crown her with flowers.. just like a road side shrine somewhere in Italy... but in the meantime, I will place flowers at her feet here at Inglewood, where she stands just outside my front door.

what a truly blessed Samhain - a little bit on the quirky side

2010-04-30T21:57:00.001+10:00

[I walked among the graves today.. accompanied by many an ancestor I am sure.. some of them maybe wondering what the hell i was doing]

I woke very early this morning - [4am to be exact] to Moonlight as brilliant as the sun but not as harsh.. a softness and I sat and gazed out the window remembering how Daisy loved to do the same.. the ancestors had arrived for Samhain... dozing off to sleep for awhile... this time, I woke to bird call.. so got myself out of bed, wandered out to under the pine tree & did my morning greeting of the day and as I did.. a blackbird flew right past my face.. and sat in the tree - just looking at me.. as I spoke to her, she cocked her head this way and that..yes, the ancestors were with me today to help me walk my path [the blackbird has not been seen in my garden for at least 2 weeks... the blackbird is Daisy telling me she is here with me.. she may not have been blood related in this life.. but she is certainly one of my ancestors as she was part of my tribe].

[a home crafted celtic cross and an old rusted arch on one of the old graves in Springwood cemetery]
I decorated my altar with the gathered leaves from yesterdays walk, a few walnuts & a black candle.. and of course some photos of the wise women in my family.. plus an old purse & china tea cup to represent my Nan.. and a piece of jet. I burned my last stick of Samhain incense that Daisy had sent me before she died.. [she bought it from an online shop the Goddess & the Greenman.. a beautiful scent]. You know, I am not even sure why I do this kind of thing .. I don't understand the symbolism of it all nor do I know the history of it all or the lore of it all - but when I gather bits to put on my altar, it makes me feel connected to something alot older than I am. & it resonates with my soul.

then I went for the walk around the cemetery in Springwood. I gathered sticks, sometimes looking at the headstones.. noticing the various decorations that people do for their loved ones, wondering if it was really appropriate to be taking photos in the cemetery.. but maybe people would think I was tracing my family history & I wasn't doing any harm.. just following the wheel of the year..... & I spied this across the way:

a cross, marking an otherwise insignificant grave... it took my breath away.. [what a strong sign from Daisy that she is with me..]

the soft, cool, autumn early morning sun, shining on the colouring chinese pistachio tree, chicken with port & raisins for our Samhain dinner, my altar decorated for Samhain, the celebration of the ancestors, walking in Springwood cemetery collecting sticks for kindling for the coming cold weather.. meditating holding a honey calcite crystal.. this was my day.

[old man Banksia.. growing among the graves.. a native tree of Australia ~ even he is going into autumn time]

Chicken with Port and Raisins
1/2 cup dark raisins
1 cup port wine
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
4 breasts of chicken
1 leek
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 cup heavy cream, or evaporated milk
1/4 tsp grated fresh nutmeg
1 tbsp cornstarch mixed with 1 tbsp water
Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
Fresh herbs for garnish

Soak the raisins in the port wine at least 1 hour or, preferably, overnight.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a saute pan, heat 1 tbsp of the olive oil. When hot, saute the chicken breasts on one side until golden brown. Turn the chicken over and transfer to an ovenproof dish. Bake for 10 minutes.
In the meantime, in the saute pan, heat the remaining 1 tbsp olive oil. Add the leeks and sweat them for 5 minutes. Add the vinegar and reduce until almost dry.
Stir in the raisins and their soaking liquid. Cook until the liquid is reduced by half. Add the cream or evaporated milk, nutmeg, and cornstarch mixture. Cook for 2 more minutes, but do not bring to a boil.
Adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. Spoon the sauce onto serving plates, set a chicken breast on top, and garnish with fresh herbs.
I served ours with mashed sweet potato, steamed carrots and brown rice

an autumn stroll for Full Moon

2010-04-29T21:59:00.005+10:00

killing a few birds with one stone...and taking a stroll today for the Full Moon, a weekly walk that I have committed to with Julia Cameron's 'Walking in this world' as well as coming up to Samhain tomorrow.

I was disappointed to find that the trees were not as colourful as they should be by now. O'yarrang covered the branches.. this can be used instead of sage to smudge and cleanse.. I gathered a little for tomorrow.

I wanted to collect an array of colourful leaves for my Samhain ancestral altar but all I could find were dry brown leaves. I suppose I could have picked leaves from the branches.. but I like to leave nature to take its course.. not interrupting the flow of things. so I gathered some dry brown leaves.. after all, it is the intention, is it not?

a far cry from the gorgeous & brilliant burgundys, clarets, orange and golds from last year.

Our autumn is very mild this year.. some days are still reaching record summer temperatures... I even spotted an agapanthus flowering in a garden today.. very odd indeed...but I can relate to Mother Nature.. she seems to be having hot flushes just like I am!

a soothing voice is all it takes

2010-04-28T22:32:00.001+10:00

early this morning, I woke up and went outside to water the vegies - a beautiful time coming up to Full Moon today & then Samhain this weekend.... after tending my plants & going back inside, dutch husband was making me a cup of tea & I casually mentioned that we needed to weed along the neighbouring fence.. he didn't know which fence i meant.. and I could feel frustration inside rising up and coming out of my mouth in hysteria [actually, it was more like mass hysteria except there is only one of me].....
all it took from him to calm me down were the words.. 'shhh, relax'.... he is good at calming my storms.

the emotional rollercoaster.. a lovely mix, Full Moon and Menopause, going hand in hand to make a woman some kind of irrational being, totally out of control of not only her bodily functions but also her emotions.. today, I even got to the point of thinking i may need some kind of counselling.. but later tonight, when I had my bath.. soaking in the herbs.. I heard my inner voice say to me : I am enough..... a lovely mantra I think. I am enough.
I have also decided to work through a book i have had for quite some time.. Walking in this world by Julia Cameron.. it kind of fell from my bookshelf this morning while I was looking for something else.. and the page fell open to 'anger'.. I took that as a strong sign from someone. so back to morning pages, artists dates and weekly walks...

home made chai latte.. white light protection under the pine tree with my Earth healing disc, crystal and a rose ~ a Full Moon Earth Healing. a blackbird on a park bench. yoga to beautiful flute music, stretching those hip joints, a cleansing lavender and sage bath and a cup [or 3] of oatstraw tea... this was my day

this menopausal journey to becoming a butterfly

2010-04-27T21:19:00.002+10:00

you know, much as I might complain about chin hairs and moan about hot flushes.. I am actually enjoying this menopausal journey.. it is taking me back to the wise women of old.. the wise women who use to brew their teas just like I am doing each night with my oatstraw tea.. where I measure dried oatstraw into a flask, pour hot water over it, seal it and leave it infuse overnight, to be sipped throughout the next day to help soothe my adrenals..

I love reading up on crystals that may help my anger & past life issues that are surfacing.. finding those crystals and healing myself much like the village wise women did in times past. And that bloodstone is actually a very good crystal to use for menopause.. so I tuck one into my medicine bag that I carry on my waist.

I love that my reiki healing is coming to use once again in the healing of my own body. I am sure that I am being prodded to use this healing gift that i have long ignored.

I love that I am discovering that my base chakra is actually linked to my adrenals & the solar plexus is the liver which are the organs often connected to menopause.. and that if I go and sit on Mother Earth each day, she will help me through my menopause as I can help her through her change of life that she seems to be going through at the moment too... very connected to each other...

I love finding that cedarwood and lavender essential oils may sooth my shattered nervous system and bring it into balance or to use dried sage and lavender in a bath.. or if really stressed, use an oatstraw bath to soothe the menopausal nerves.

and as I discover each of these and much more folk lore, I am finding that I am actually more intune with my body than ever before...

so instead of fighting this 'change of my life'.. why not embrace it? like my Nan use to say.. if you can't beat it, join it.. and my Nan is yet another wise butterfly in my life, even if she is on the other side

[I see myself walking through life, not as I look now, but as a village wise woman, with a bag of herbs and crystals on her waist. dressed in a brown robe with a rope tie around her waist.. going about her business, gathering herbs to dry]

[the first post is up at Villa Maria..dutch husband and I made a quick visit tonight, but it was overwhelming for me to see how much work we really need to do.. my first reaction was: 'what have I done?'.. but as I walked through the house, discussing renovations & design & colours, I could feel the excitement returning.. and once i go back in the daylight and see the garden, I am sure all will be ok.. sometimes, I wonder why I do this to myself.. but it is all good. all as it should be]

collecting butterflies

2010-04-26T21:20:00.002+10:00

today we jumped on the back of the Harley and went south, for a ride.. to a little town on the seaside called Berry.

met up with friends, Carol & Rob who had ridden down to meet us.

[Carol, isn't she beautiful? she has the most divine brilliant blue eyes]
Carol is 10yrs older than me and is becoming a fast friend..another butterfly in my life. a wise woman.
[Susun Weed advises that a woman going through menopause should have female friends who are older, whom you want to grow up to be, who don't take hormones..Daisy was another and funnily enough the last thing she sent me before she died was a butterfly mobile.. she obviously knew I would be needing it]

[butterfly woman from Daisy's blog]

Carol and I wandered through the crystal shops.. I was looking for a lepidolite pendant. the crystals really affected my energies.. I needed something to eat, to ground myself. so lunch it was along with a glass of champagne [found out that was not a good idea for menopause, brings on hot flushes].. after lunch we went to another shop to try on a moonstone ring.. and the first one I tried on fitted perfectly! Plus they had a gorgeous lepidolite pendant... it was like I was led there by persons unseen.

the shop owner and I began to talk and our words got around to menopause [as it often does these days.. when others notice me fanning myself furiously].. and she told me that she had gone to see Amma,the Hugging Saint and that she had been sitting fanning herself furiously just like was and throwing off her clothes.. an old indian lady leaned across to her, didn't say a word and sprayed rose water on the inside of her elbows and proceeded to pour about a quarter of a cup of the water over her head.. she said it cooled her down immediately.. and she said that the indian woman had given her the bottle and it goes everywhere with her now.. [more butterflies in the guise of wise advice from women]... it seems that I am being helped alot in this kind of way.. and I like it. I like that I am accepting the wise ways of the ancestors.. hard as it is with these symptoms.. it kind of makes me feel like I am connected to a very big web of wise women.. YOU included

[tomorrow, I do believe we will be getting the key to Villa Maria.. finally it will be ours!]

ANZAC day, ANZAC biscuits & earth nurturers

2010-04-25T22:06:00.000+10:00

today we attended the ANZAC march in Springwood...
here is a link to an older post at a previous blog.. ANZAC day 2007
[nothing much changed.. my heart swelled with pride as we clapped our heroes and the ladies still had ANZAC biscuits for sale and we bought a few packets.. yum. ]

here is a recipe for Anzac biscuits:

1 cup each of plain flour, sugar, rolled oats and coconut
4 oz butter
1 tablespoon treacle (golden syrup)
2 tablespoons boiling water
1 teaspoon carbonate soda (add a little more water if mixture is too dry)

Grease biscuit tray and pre heat oven to 180C. Combine dry ingredients. Melt together butter and golden syrup. Combine water and soda add to butter mixture. Mix butter mixture and dry ingredients. Drop teaspoons of mixture onto tray allowing room for spreading. Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden. Allow to cool on tray for a few minutes before transferring to cooling racks

now that life has settled down into some kind of normalcy.. I am going to re vitalise the Earth Healing collective .. some of you may know about it, others don't.. but here is a link to the blog..
Healers of Earth
every now and then I will post a prompt for some earth healing.. and of course you can always do the healing/nurturing of Mother Earth yourself at anytime..

great - call me hirsute

2010-04-24T21:54:00.004+10:00

not only do I have to battle rage, hot flushes, night sweats but now I have a hair on my chin, which I was horrified to read is yet another 'symptom' of menopause... I was sitting eating dinner and casually brushed my chin and felt an odd thing on my face.. raced to the bathroom and horror of horrors a hair was poking out of my chin!

Hirsutism (from Latin hirsutus = shaggy, hairy) is the excessive hairiness on female humans in those parts of the body where terminal hair does not normally occur or is minimal - for example, a beard or chest hair

I can remember when I was a little girl seeing a hair poking out of my Nan's chin.. it horrified me.. I wondered why she didn't either pluck it out by the roots or at least have a shave...she seemed so old back then.. but now I realize that she must have been around my age and suffering from menopause!

lord, what next? liver spots?

yesterday.. is it all related to Pluto? oh - & Marion's boiled fruit cake recipe..

2010-04-23T20:32:00.000+10:00

yesterday, I had a menopausal breakdown. I am trying so hard to cope with all the symptoms but I am not doing so well.. then I get blogging angst as we all do.. and wonder what the hell it is all about.. so I put a post up about taking a break and took it down again then went to bed.

You see, I am so dreadfully angry. I am irritable and sometimes sad. there is a rage inside me that bubbles beneath the surface.. sometimes I feel like running away from my responsibilities and living as a mad woman in a cottage... and I know it is all related to either menopause or else Pluto is in my chart somewhere which is bringing up repressed anger from times past.. whatever, I need to do something about it.. or else, dutch husband will no longer be a husband.. cause I am sure he must be getting sick of it all.. but he has the patience of a saint..thank Heaven. [if you have suffered menopausal madness.. pray please tell how you dealt with the anger & rage]

[anyhow.. blogging... comments.. they twist and turn my mind. I love to blog. yes I do.. but I do get the angst that we all get about comments & the followers.. I have followers who I have not a clue who they are.... & that is all I am going to say. ]

and here is Marion's recipe for
Boiled Fruit Cake [this is exactly how she told me to do it, have no idea what size pan to cook it in]

125g butter
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
2 cups mixed dried fruit
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp mixed spice

[heat the above ingredients in a saucepan until butter has melted. Marion adds 1/2 pkt dried cranberries]

add
400g crushed pineapple

then mix together [and add to the above mix when it has cooled slightly]
1/2 cup sherry
1 tsp bicarb soda

beat 2 eggs
and add to mix when it is cold

sift and add
1 cup self raising flour
1 cup plain flour

stir. put into greased cake tin

then cook in a moderate oven for 1 hour

hopefully tomorrow when I see my acupuncturist & herbalist.. I will get some help.. then next week I am going to an energetic healer.. please God, let me find some help...I don't like myself when I am like this

such a fun day at Mt. Wilson

2010-04-21T21:27:00.000+10:00

[my friend Marion, strolling through the autumn leaves at her sister's home in Mt.Wilson]
my friend Marion lives down the road a little from Inglewood. She is like a big sister to me. we share recipes, seeds and garden love.

I arrived at her home early in the morning and we drove the hour across to the other side of the mountain to visit her sister Ann. Marion had baked a cake.. her famous boiled fruit cake.

we arrived just in time for morning tea and Ann set up a tray of tea and cake and we went outside to sit on the patio amidst the autumn leaves and cool mountain air. [very good for those hot flushes that I kept experiencing throughout the day, tossing off my cardigan constantly - but they understood with knowing laughs]

[Wendy the artist friend]
after morning tea, we wandered up the lane. climbing over a barbwire fence, through a paddock of walnut trees [noting to selves to come back and gather the fallen walnuts] and went to visit Wendy. a very talented and zany woman

[Ann, watching Wendy as she finished off some knitted hats for a craft show on the weekend]
Wendy was a delight, a collector, a bower bird. She had old wares for sale too.. I bought an old door knocker for Villa Maria and two cushions for my Lloyd Loom chairs.

she had also gathered walnuts and had them drying in the sun.

like I said, Wendy is a bower bird. a collector of stuff. .. and she has shelves and cupboards overflowing with fabrics. her paintings hang around her home.

after a lovely visit, we wandered back home to have lunch. a simple feast. cheese, salami, avocado, crackers & Marion's home made hummus. washed down with a cup of my oat straw tea

after lunch a stroll through Ann's garden. five acres of pure bliss. absolutely brilliant autumn colour

and then

gathering walnuts
[here is Marion filling her bag with the fallen nuts]

mine are now on the floor in front of the fire.. drying out. then I will store them to make cakes, muesli or just eat them straight from the shell! It was such a fun day. 3 women. 3 menopausal women, sharing stories. and an artist who inspired me to be comfortable with who I am.

a fantastic day

2010-04-20T22:01:00.003+10:00

a long day for me today.. I am tired.. so a little bunch of flowers will have to do - these were on the artist Wendy's table, ready to be thrown into the compost

an early trip tomorrow.. nothing to say today

2010-04-19T21:59:00.000+10:00

nothing much to say today...but tomorrow, I am leaving early on a day trip with my friend Marion, to visit her sister at Mount Wilson on the other side of the mountains. [Marion's sister is lucky enough to live there].. will have lots of photos and stuff to tell tomorrow!
so you can see where I will be visiting.. here is a link : Mt. Wilson

lazy Sunday

2010-04-18T23:28:00.002+10:00

a short bike ride to the Ori Cafe for breakfast. The Ori Cafe is situated in an old hotel in Springwood and is an award winning restaurant.
poached egg, sauteeed mushrooms & baby spinach leaves served on a homemade sweet corn fritter. soy latte.
then home again to sort through the 40 odd pot plants I have scattered around my garden & courtyards.

[the Ori Cafe where our daughter Sophie wishes to have her 21st birthday party in August. celebrating with a champagne breakfast.]

an autumn day in April

2010-04-17T15:15:00.004+10:00

a long walk in Springwood, cup of chai latte with Phil & Wendy under their old persimmon tree, raking leaves, harvesting pumpkins, planting spring onions...

a few peeks into my life...

a gift

2010-04-16T22:42:00.004+10:00

tonight, we had dinner with our friends Phil & Wendy who are moving down to the coast to start a new chapter in their life, in their new home ~ I was sitting there, fanning myself furiously with my hands while having a hot flush.. Wendy reached into her bag and gave me a fan. "from one menopausal woman to another" she said... 'this is from Japan, I carry it with me always, would you like it?'.....
we both giggled and nodded, understanding each other completely... I am going to miss them alot..

[today we chose all the bathroom fittings & tiles for Villa Maria... ]

a few things

2010-04-15T22:40:00.000+10:00

[early this morning, I was hanging the first of my washing on the line, the cool autumn sun, shimmering through the colouring leaves and a bee snuffling amidst the borage, reminding me very much of the Lion among the poppies in Wizard of Oz]
I have two old flannelette pillow cases... what is it about them that is so comforting? the worn, soft pillow case against my face today as I napped in the sun in my sacred space...

[today, I had lunch with Avis and Bill & in return, I took a bowl of eggs from my chickens.. Avis was making zucchini fritters for their dinner and the eggs were put to good use]

I wrap my Avalon Wisdom oracle cards in an old hanky that was my Pa's. an old white hanky with 'P' embroidered in one corner. P for Percival. I wonder if that came from an Arthurian connection. I like to believe it did.

[the swedes have come up very well in my autumn vegie garden.. I hope we have enough cool weather to make them sweet for winter soups]

and I bless my drinking water ever day and place it on my altar.... because I read this recently:
Storing your water in and drinking from blue glass, restructures the water.
Sing into the water. Place it into a crystal bowl each morning and sound the bowl. Bless it. Put notes of intention beneath it. Speak your prayers to it.
And then drink it…..and feel it nourish and nurture you. That is the greatest blessing

so there is a little mix of my day today.

a little bit of blog housekeeping

2010-04-14T21:30:00.000+10:00

at the moment, I am going to have to withdraw my energies from visiting blogs so much. I will still visit as I can, but
with the task of keeping Inglewood like a show home, and the garden tidy & ordered
and the wardrobe! [oh the wardrobe.. if i venture in there, I may never be seen again]..but it must be tidied and clothes sorted through..
& other sorting of all manner of things to be sold..
needless to say. I am finding my energies scattered. very scattered. I did consider closing the blog for the time, but I find it is a creative outlet for me...

but of course, then I feel guilty about not visiting your blog and repaying the kind comments, so if you feel that you don't wish to comment here, please don't feel obligated..
I guess this is what is known as blogging without obligations. however, your comments are still very welcome and I will try to reply by email..

while I was writing this post, I remembered 'blogging without obligation' from a few years ago.. and found the post & badge and I have put it into my sidebar..

and some words that i remembered from Daisy's blog:

" Blogging without Obligation, to me it means we are all busy people, we blog to put our thoughts down, to make friends with other bloggers and to receive and reply to comments. Now some people are lucky and can do this on a day to day basis, but some whether through family, jobs or just plain business doing things we enjoy, are not so on the ball as every day. Then that horrid sense of guilt and obligation creeps in, oh I better not go to bed until I have commented on so and so's blog, they might think I am not bothering anymore. This badge showing on my sidebar means, I am still visiting you and commenting, some days and weeks more than others, I work up my list and down my list of contacts, so not everyone gets a comment everyday. If I am busy I won't be around as much, but if it was anything drastic that was happening and I was not going to be around for a while I would somehow get a quick posting up to inform people. Let's keep blogging heartwarming and not let it descend into stress and disenchantment my motto will be WE LIVE FIRST, THEN WE BLOG, otherwise we would run out of things to blog about."

gee I miss Daisy.

a day spent with Jack

2010-04-13T22:33:00.000+10:00

school holiday time here in Woodford..Jack my grandson came for the day.. and we did something fun, of his choosing . . .a trip into the valley via the Scenic Railway.

it all started here.. at the top of the stairs where Jack wanted his photo taken with the 3 white cockatoos that were feeding with the beautiful 3 Sisters behind him ~ we walked down the steps to board the carriage where Jack decided that he really didn't want to go through the tunnel into the dark. I promised him that i would hold his hand and used a reward of something at the shop if he was brave..

so we boarded the train, making sure we didn't get the front seat and off we went.. accompanied by Indiana Jones music and a multitude of tourists..

[he tried ever so hard to look brave]

arriving at the bottom we walked the short 10 mins to the other ride back up the mountain.. through ancient rainforests.

stopping every so often to look at the wise old trees and hoping to spot a native animal

[or even a lyrebird if you are very lucky]

and the promise of lunch...so what will we have?

Jack chose a pie and I thought the chicken wraps looked tempting... how very wrong I was. one bite into the chicken revealed a mouthful of fat. so it was promptly wrapped up and thrown into the bin.. I drank my soy tea in a paper cup.. amidst the legions of tourists and school children. oh how i hate those kind of places.. the things you do for your grandchildren!

but of course, no pies.. so what will it be? a sausage roll of course! which Jack ate with relish.. concentrating so very hard as he enjoyed every single mouthful.

following on from yesterday

2010-04-12T21:25:00.000+10:00

not much happening today in Woodford.. the day was chilly ~ but a blue sky..
so I thought I would share some photos I took at the place where we had afternoon tea yesterday..
it was an old stone inn.. called the Black Swan.. gorgeously decorated with old bits..
some things that caught my eye:

this was an old wooden table that had a flour drawer underneath.. I love the chipped green paint.. with the scrubbed pine top.

mirrors always catch my eye..

the big branch looked brilliant surrounded by old bits of silver..

and like i said.. it was afternoon tea.. the cakes were all home-made.. so much to choose from. I was heard at one stage saying ' I will have one of everything'.. but of course, common sense won.. and I chose a coffee tart.. it was deliciously sinful. dutch husband shared with me and our friends each had a white chocolate cheese cake. i tasted it and it was a moment of absolutely pure pleasure.

just wondering if you would like me to take you for a walk around my vegie garden? video it and a commentary just like in my chook house?
hope your Monday is as glorious as mine!

what does an australian girl do on a lazy Sunday?

2010-04-11T21:41:00.001+10:00

why, go on a bike ride of course!

for lunch,

via the beach road. [Austinmer Beach on an autumn day. Surf lifesavers sit and watch the swimmers and surfers]

with friends.[dutch husband & Fang (otherwise known as Rob) - not in the picture are Moi and miss Carol, Rob's partner who is a kindred sister soul ]

to a small village pub in the southern highlands..

'what would you like to drink?'... champagne cocktail for me.. thankyou.. so off to get drinks while we wait for lunch.

a quick look at the General store...

then back on the bikes to another little village for afternoon tea!

AND just what does it mean if you see two cars. two different cars. one in the morning and one in the afternoon. both had number plates with the letters GAB.. but numbers were different.. one had the numbers 111 and the other 444... I am thinking this is a sign from the angels.. GAB could mean Gabriel.. and triple numbers according to Doreen Virtue have a meaning... [tell me what you think]

a chandelier in the chicken house?

2010-04-10T22:40:00.001+10:00

[my girls today, enjoy the comfrey]
(and at the end of my post, is a little video of my girls. If you listen carefully, you can hear my voice ~ what do you think of that?)

I love vegetable gardening! I cannot wait to get the keys to Villa Maria at the end of this month and then I can start to build & prepare a new vegie garden [ with the help and muscle of dutch husband of course!] but for now, I lovingly tend the garden of Inglewood. which is a beautiful thing to do, don't get me wrong. just it is time to move on and my spirit is that of an impatient person.

I watered the vegie garden early this morning.. my swedes are just poking their little leaves up out of the ground ~ peas still not to be seen and the leeks are starting to stand up

but the blackbird has discovered that he can fit through the wire and caused havoc among my beetroot seedlings.. not sure what I can do about that.. maybe lay some twigs across the ground around my plants?

[today, dutch husband & I cleaned out the hen house & yard. I raked up all the spent leaves & vegie scraps from the past week. And I washed the chandelier. Joe cleaned out the nesting boxes and replaced all the straw with nice clean bedding]

[they love their greens]
I harvested my comfrey that i have growing along the fence and gave the girls a big pile of it.. very good for them.

[and yes, I do have a chandelier in the hen house]
[the hen house, by the way, is known as Villa Eggplant from now on]..
it is not connected to electricity, it is more to make the room pretty. because we all know that chooks love pretty things... and of course, this is not an egg production hen house where they need light 24hours a day to produce. oh no! this is more like a retirement house for old hens.. because most of my hens are elderly [I guess we could call them crones].. sadly one of my little bantams died just last week.. about 8yrs of age.

and the little home movie from Villa Eggplant:

(let it load first, then watch it.. you can hear dutch husbands voice as well!)

a world without honey?

2010-04-09T21:54:00.000+10:00

another beautiful day in Woodford... taking my grandsons to the movies to see Nanny McPhee. popcorn for me & lollies for them. then lunch with dutch husband. who might I add, turned up on his Harley, exciting Jack [age 7] no end.
then home to tidy up for an expected viewer [who cancelled at the last minute]...that was my day.

but on closer inspection.. I did notice flocks of finches flitting in the plum trees, through the vegetable garden and up into the apple tree. their tweeting making me lift my head from the task of hanging the washing out. magpies sticking their beaks into the grass to catch a worm or snail. apple leaves fluttering to the ground in their autumn undress. and bees, oh the bees.. lazily snuggling into the thai basil, the nasturtiums and borage. that lazy, autumn, fuzzy, snuggling that only happy bees can do... bees are in abundance in my garden.. but I have read that they are threatened in other parts of the world. sprays perhaps? or the mobile towers that seem to dot the worlds surface, everywhere.. or a virus? no matter what it is... a world without bees is a world without honey.

[an unused beehive in my garden. I was going to leave it here at Inglewood but have decided to take it with me. I have many unused objects in my garden, just for decoration. take the chandelier that I have hanging in the chicken house for instance. purely for decoration]

so, just what can we do to encourage bees into our gardens? plant a bee garden. a garden full of flowers that bees love: blue is a colour that bees adore so borage is perfect. lavender and thyme. citrus trees and flowering herbs. clove pinks and lemon balm. just to name a few.
but most important is to stop spraying. It breaks my heart to know that people still consider spraying bees.

[other things: I don't like the taste of nettle tea, oatstraw is actually nice. the hot foot-baths: still not sure if they work yet but I will keep trying. I have a bubble of excitement in my solar plexus area and I don't know why.. life has something exciting instore for me..I love my life. I am happy]

today, you say?

2010-04-08T22:04:00.002+10:00

what did I do today? well. I wasn't going to post at all. I like to post daily.. but it is becoming increasingly difficult to be entertaining.. and then I think well, who am I blogging for myself or others... the usual dilemma we all have..

the day was a glorious day .. one of those days where you can feel autumn.. a breeze blowing, enough to dry the clothes. bees buzzing lazily, gathering the last of the pollen ..

my friend Laraine called in with her 3 grandchildren and their 3 new chickens. they were so excited that they wanted to show me

I had a pedicure and foot spa in Katoomba at the Yindi day spa.. I sat and looked out the window at the most gorgeous view in the world while my feet were pampered
Yindi

so, you see, not much happening around here.. a very boring post. [nary a photo]
[one thing I do know though and that is I really need to re-connect with the Seasons.. I am so out of whack.. the past 6mths or so, I have neglected my wise woman & the Wheel.. (dealing with life circumstances and all of that)].. coming up to Samhain at the end of April.. a good time to begin again.. sometimes I feel like I am on a see-saw.

a dying art

2010-04-07T22:04:00.007+10:00

when I was a little girl, jam making & preserving was something that was part of my everyday. My grandma was a great one for making jams, pickles, chutneys and lemon butter. jars were saved, washed and stored for the day when she would make one or another.

today, I found an old CWA cookbook in a drawer
and as I browsed through the out of fashion recipes, [recipes like 'time saver stew', scalloped parsnips' & Maitland salad'] ~ I had a brain snap and thought I might join the CWA ladies and revive the lost art of jam & chutney making... however, I don't think I am quite the CWA lady type.

I do still have my vacola kit which I might get out when I move to Villa Maria.. I use to bottle preserves quite alot.. driving out to the country to buy boxes of plums or peaches from farms and bringing them back to bottle for winter...

I think it is important though, not to let these 'arts' die... knitting, preserving, jam making.... they take us back to simpler times, don't you think? times, when standing at the sink, washing up was a meditation. and that is what I hope to do at Villa Maria.. a smaller home & garden, will give me a little more time to live a simpler, more meditative life.

tonight, I soak my feet in the hottest water I can stand.. on direction of my acupuncturist ~ according to her, by doing this it will help my volcanic night sweats.. one can only hope.

sharing something hauntingly beautiful

2010-04-06T22:18:00.001+10:00

I don't often post youtube links.. but i would like to know how this music affects you ~ I discovered Deuter about 15 or so years ago and rediscovered his music just this year...[if you have 10mins to spare, let the video load and listen ~ then let me know what you think]

does it tug at your heart strings? or speak to something deep inside? does it make you feel as if you want to weep...do you feel as if the music is touching something that is a memory of long ago? it does all of this to me.. when I listen to this music, as I go about my day.. my skin tingles, the hairs on the crown of my head feel like they are being brushed by angels wings....as I listen to the music, it is as if I am caring for my soul.

a day off

2010-04-05T21:49:00.006+10:00

[photo taken at Leura Deli. their Easter egg display]
Easter Monday. I don't know what that means. maybe there is a religious significance. I don't have a clue.

here in Australia, it is a holiday... so what does one do on Easter Monday? a year or so ago, I would have been at work hard in my garden, tending the plants, mulching, gathering kindling for the coming winter. But today I woke feeling out of sorts... not quite right. so I did the best thing for my soul. Dutch husband lit a fire and I snuggled under an eiderdown ~ napping on and off all day. that is about it.

easter day & a simple orange cake

2010-04-04T21:32:00.000+10:00

today our daughters came to Easter lunch. so we had Louisa & Garth with their two boys~ Harry and Charlie.. and our youngest daughter Sophie and her boyfriend the plumber.. and yes, he has a name: Chris...
it was strange not having my son here.. our family dynamics have changed alot since he moved interstate.. and truthfully, we are all floundering trying to find some kind of balance ... but we continue to try with days like today. that is why a move to Villa Maria will be good.. we can begin afresh. I miss my son alot. my heart is a little heavy tonight.. I sent him Easter eggs but it is not the same without him here.. however, he is happy, healing and has a job now.. so that is all I can ask for. he is alive. Mary has him under Her mantle. I know he is safe.

I adore planning celebrations.. this year I bought 3 coloured candles in the shape of eggs, placed them on a vintage pressed glass cake stand and surrounded them with roses from my garden. I played Deuter, East of the Full Moon ~ a favourite, soul stirring piece of music. I burned incense that Daisy had sent me a few years ago.. for Autumn Harvest.. so today really, I celebrated both days.. Easter for tradition and Mabon for the wheel of the year, albeit a little late.

lots of Easter eggs and bunnies... all Lindt chocolate. none are left.

I cooked a leg of lamb ~ slow roasted with garlic and rosemary from my own garden. mashed potatoes and carrots, minted peas and sweet potato in a brown sugared glaze.
and a simple orange cake for afternoon tea. very simple, very tasty..

MOIST ORANGE CAKE
ingredients:
155g soft butter
2 tsps. grated orange rind
2/3 cup castor sugar
3 eggs
1 cup self raising flour
1/4 cup milk
ORANGE ICING
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp. soft butter
1 tblsp. orange juice ( approx )

grease a deep 20cm round cake tin; line base with paper
combine all ingredients in large bowl, beat on low speed with electric mixer until ingredients are combined. Increase speed to medium, beat for 3 mins. or until mixture is changed in colour and smooth. Spread into prepared tin. Bake in moderate (180C - 375F ) oven for about 45 mins. Stand 2 mins before turning onto wire cake rack to cool. Spread cold cake with icing.

to make the ORANGE ICING
sift icing sugar into small heatproof bowl,stir in butter and enough juice to make a stiff paste. Stir over hot water until icing is spreadable

enjoy! & HAPPY EASTER !

messages on pumpkins and other such stuff.

2010-04-03T21:59:00.007+11:00

this morning a trip to Katoomba to the co-op to buy some vegetables, teas & yoghurt.

[while I was paying for my co-op purchases, I noticed this pumpkin next to the counter.. apparently the grower 'writes' messages on her pumpkins when they are small, using a sterile pin and as the pumpkin grows, the words scab over.. very clever, don't you think? this message says :'don't treat our soils like dirt']

coffee at Fresh and then to the nursery to buy some seedling for autumn planting ~ I bought leeks, celery, spring onions, italian and curly leaf parsley and some lettuce. Pea and swede seed as well

a lovely time spent in the garden this afternoon..

I dug over the soil to plant the pea and swede seeds. constantly checking depth measurements with dutch husband ~ he is quite good at converting millimetres back to inches. [I still work in the old system of inches and feet.. centimetres I cannot get my head around] ~ [Joe does not garden, he is the chief cup of tea maker.. and when a big hole needs to be dug, he does that..the garden is my passion and he is my sometimes helper.]
once the seeds were planted, I marked where I had planted the seeds with some twigs, adding old jugs and bed knobs as a safety measure for the eyes.. I learned my lesson earlier this year.

[while I gardened, the bees buzzed busily in the vietnamese mint. I have no idea why I planted this as I have never used it at all, but the bees love it so that is all that matters really.. the more bees the better for the garden.]

a few hours spent planting the seeds & seedlings ~ and then Marion arrived with some beetroot seedlings, so they went in too.

it all looks a little bare at the moment.. but in a few weeks, the seeds will be up and the seedlings will have taken off [I hang quartz crystals in my vegetable garden and I talk to the nature divas, so my vegies do tend to thrive] & like I said yesterday, I may not get to harvest these vegetables, but I don't mind. I love to plant vegetables and if someone gets to enjoy the fruits of my labour, then I will be happy.
I hope you all have a fantastic Easter Day.. don't worry about eating any Easter eggs, I have eaten enough for everyone!

I will tend & love this garden until I move

2010-04-02T21:33:00.005+11:00

autumn is here and time to rake the pine needles. I didn't realize until last week, that the pine needles actually colour during autumn just like deciduous trees. [last week while resting in my bedroom, I looked out and noticed a vibrant yellowing of some pine needles...] I spent a good half hour raking pine needles today, they were the bane of my life at one stage until I discovered that they are actually good mulch for gardenias..

while I gardened, dutch husband spent some time fixing things up around the house. it is amazing how quickly things get done when the house is on the market.

these gargoyles usually sit by my front steps, but I have taken them down and now they sit waiting to move to Villa Maria.

the angel will go with me too.. with her broken wing and cracked hands.. I think she is perfect. I am hoping to find some kind of cement pedestal to put her on in my courtyard garden at Villa Maria.

[my trusty work boots]
I spent quite a few hours in my garden today. the tomatoes, cucumbers & beans had finished and needed pulling, to make way for leeks, beetroot, turnips & carrots. some winter herbs will be planted too.. and even if Inglewood sells before I get a chance to harvest, I don't mind. I simply cannot stop tending & planting the garden because I am moving on. Maybe the fruits of my labour will be enjoyed by someone else.

and the fruits of my summer.. capsicum, beans, lemons, potatoes and cucumbers.. some of which were used for our dinner.
for dinner tonight I made salmon rissoles using parsley from my friend Marion's garden and potatoes I had dug myself. I served it with fried brown rice using my own capsicum and welsh onions ~ very tasty... fish for Good Friday.. child hood conditioning never seems to disappear.

I still have more potatoes to dig, capsicums on the bush and pumpkins on the vine. lemons are abundant and the oranges look promising for winter. tamarillos are soon to be picked...Inglewood's garden is abundant!

easter thursday

2010-04-01T22:47:00.004+11:00

yet another simple day for me

* a blackbird sat in the old apple tree and listened to me as I talked to it
* I discovered more frogs eggs in my pond
* I ate too many easter eggs
* I endured at least 8 hot flushes during today and drank about 6 cups of oat-straw tea to try and counteract them. not sure if it is working
* ate too many easter eggs
* I wondered what to blog about and even contemplated walking away from blogging because I have nothing to say
* and I ate too many easter eggs

tomorrow, I hope the mental blank has disappeared or is this fog part of my life now?

the fog of menopause when you call your husband and tell him that the air conditioning in the car is not working, so you drive up the road in the heat, with the windows down, trying to get cool and when you drive into the driveway, you realize you have had the heater on. is this what happens in the fog of menopause?

the open house

2010-03-31T22:50:00.004+11:00

tonight was the official open night for our home.. where the real estate agent invites would be buyers to have a special preview before it is on the market..

expecting about 20 people to come through, I thought a nice platter of cheese to go with the 'champagne' would be a nice touch. and for the quirky part of my nature, I supplied a bowl of small Easter Eggs.[confession of sorts:I put the Easter eggs out early in the day.. and quite a few made their way into my mouth & I guess will end up on my hips]

it was a misty, rainy afternoon so the fire was lit & candles flickered throughout our home. Deuter played quietly in the background

dutch husband & I went out to a meeting and left the real estate agents to welcome people...

but no one came. not one person. at first i was disappointed BUT I know that the perfect person is out there to buy and love Inglewood just as I do and I know that everything will happen in perfect Divine time.. I know that because I keep 'hearing' it.

a simple day

2010-03-30T22:14:00.005+11:00

this morning, I called my friend Avis to say hello
'what's news?' she asked as she always does... we got chatting about my home and she asked me if I would like to go round for lunch ~ I took her a basket of eggs... Avis is in her 70's and is Jewish. I love to talk to her.. she has a rather different outlook on life than i do. we talk about all manner of things.. from my spiritual beliefs to hers.. about her childhood and how she is like a snail and wears her home on her back, never really feeling at home in any one country. she tells me of her life in England as a Nanny and how she is actually related to Jack the Ripper. an interesting lady for sure!

as we talked today, she gathered the makings of lunch. tomatoes, avocado, spring onions from her garden, leg ham, mustard & cucumbers.. all placed on a simple white plate. oat and honey bread. and rock melon for after. a pot of tea and she was done.

out onto her verandah and we sat with her husband Bill, enjoying a sandwich, a cup of tea and a good chat. all the important things in life.
[at Avis & Bill's home, the kettle is always on, there is always a home-made cake. a shoulder to cry on, an understanding ear to listen and comfort when you are feeling down. they are what my grandma called 'salt of the earth' people... so if you are ever in the vicinity of their home.. please do pop in, they love visitors, people are always calling past for a chat and a cup of tea and visitors are always welcome!]

making bolognaise sauce

2010-03-29T21:40:00.001+11:00

it is raining here in Woodford. what I wanted to do today, didn't happen because of the rain [I wanted to weed paths and mulch 'Sophie's Walk' garden]... but I did clean my bathrooms today, in readiness for our official open house on Wednesday night.

today the magpie with the broken foot, visited my bird bath for a drink. I ducked outside and opened the gates to my vegie garden so he could have the pickings of the last of the summer vegies and whatever else treat he might find in there.. the little finches flitted in and out of the branches of the apple tree, eating bugs... the choughs moved my soul with the call [does it every time].. and I wondered what to blog about...

[dutch husband is the cheese grater in our family. my grater is about 25yrs old and I always buy organic parmesan cheese from the co-op]

how do you make your bolognaise sauce?
you see, when I was two, we lived next door to an italian family and even at that young age, I loved Regina's spaghetti sauce, I have never tasted as good since and have never been able to capture the essence of her sauce..
so I make my own..

one onion chopped very finely, saute in olive oil with two [or more] cloves of crushed garlic ~ stir with a spoon and lots of love... when the onion is transparent.. begin to add spoonfuls of organic minced, australian beef.. about 1/2 kilo in all.. mashing with the spoon to break up any lumps.. cook on medium heat.. adding pepper and freshly grated nutmeg.. once the meat is browned, add an organic beef stock cube, a dash of red wine and cook for a minute or two.. then add chosen pasta sauce [i use organic basil & garlic tomato pasta sauce].. simmer for about 20mins to reduce the sauce down.. adding a handful of torn basil leaves towards the end of cooking time.
serve with chosen pasta and lashings of freshly grated parmesan cheese...
do you have a favourite spaghetti sauce?

what a very full weekend I have had.

2010-03-28T20:56:00.008+11:00

yesterday we spent the day at Springwood Foundation day ~ a day of celebrating the settling of the town of Springwood [where Villa Maria is situated]
a street parade is held as well as many stalls for various community groups.

[balloons are the order of the day!]

many people get into the theme of the day, dressing up in period costume. there is a Town Crier and all manner of costumes being paraded.

even a group of Red Coats

community groups walk among the crowds ~ this is the Rural Fire Service, our brave men and women who fight our bushfires

[and even though this is not France, someone loved Paris.]

there are buskers, drummers

and belly dancers

big bass drums, trumpets & trombones, all add to the festivies..

dutch husband & I rode our bike in the parade!

later on that evening, we took a twilight ride to the southern highlands for dinner... and today

baby Charlie was baptised at St. Thomas Aquinas church...

I hope you had a wonderful weekend too!

a quick few words

2010-03-27T23:13:00.001+11:00

so that I don't miss a post today.. I thought I would tell that Joe & I spent the day on the bike.
first of all to a festival day in Springwood then to the southern highlands for dinner..
photos tomorrow !

a very full day today

2010-03-26T21:50:00.007+11:00

.. washing clothes, going to Katoomba to collect my herbal medicine, travel agent for Sophie, inspection of Villa Maria [making me fall in love with it even more].. and lastly the breast surgeons appointment... he was running one and half hours late for his patients which made me stress just a little longer. although I did use that time wisely, I sat and prayed.

he took my stitches out and as he was doing that, he said casually,
'well, its good news...'
you have no idea how relieved i was when I heard those words.
he sat and underlined the words on my pathology report:
there is no evidence of in situ or invasive malignancy seen

there is NO evidence of cancer!!

Thankyou so much for all the prayers, love and support that you have surrounded me with over the past month. I don't think I could have made it without all of the support, emails & love.
I am exhausted. but relieved.

and of course, I promise to check my breasts monthly.

this time tomorrow

2010-03-25T21:48:00.003+11:00

[isn't she beautiful? My St.Therese]

yes, tomorrow I will get the results of the biopsy back. will it be cancer? I don't know.

today, the nurse called to put my appointment to an earlier time slot and I went into panic mode..
my mind going places of 'them needing more time with me to go through what will happen next'.
the first time all week I have been afraid.
the past week, I have embraced what is happening to me.
every now and then, I felt a fear, but soon brushed that aside.

I made myself some lunch and went outside to sit on my verandah. and as I did, a kookaburra flew past and sat on the fence. just looking at me. I haven't seen one in my garden since November. I always take this as a sign from my dad. he loved the bird and every time something happens in my life - good or bad, a kookaburra shows up.
I am scared. he is with me.

I sat and allowed the tears to fall, with that awful lump of fear in my chest. knowing that what will be will be, tears cannot change it.

the sensible self tells me that even if it is cancer, the prognosis is good as it is very early.

I look at my St.Therese picture and I feel reassurance that I am ok. ... but the human self is scared. I look at my St.Therese picture and hear whispers of voices telling me not to worry. that I am not alone.

I hate waiting.
I will be happy this time tomorrow, when at least I will know one way or the other. and I will go from there.

it's official

2010-03-24T21:37:00.005+11:00

it's official. Inglewood is on the market. I honestly never thought I would see this day..but the sign is there for all to see. The monk across the road was quite taken aback when I told him today. I think he will miss me. I think I will miss him too. he said to me that I would miss my vegetable garden.

just a thought:
reading a few blogs yesterday, some questioning why they blogged, why they wrote about their day, wondering if people really wanted to read about their garden or daily life, day after day...
I started to ask myself the same question. do people really want to know what I am doing? I mean, honestly. do people get bored reading about my daily life? sometimes it is difficult to be amusing.. sometimes life is just.... life.

a proud moment.

2010-03-23T22:04:00.004+11:00

our daughter Sophie, graduated from Hairdressing college tonight.
a four year course and she passed with distinctions, coming third over all.
our little Leo baby. a gorgeous girl whom we love very much.
Off to Holland in September to do an advanced hair colouring course.

look who is two

2010-03-22T21:19:00.000+11:00

I s'pose a few of you will remember two years ago when my grandson Harry was born... two years!! it has gone so fast.

[Sophie my youngest daughter and her nephews.. baby Charlie was asleep]
we had a little birthday celebration tonight. nothing fancy. we were allowed to take my other two grandsons Tom & Jack as well.. so that was good for all the boys to get together.

I cannot believe he is two already!
our home is on the market. officially. it is advertised on the net. INGLEWOOD
[if you follow the link, you will see some photos.. click on the + sign and you will open a new window with about 13 photos]

autumn equinox

2010-03-21T21:20:00.004+11:00

the last Autumn Equinox for me at Inglewood. I am going to miss the seasons here, Villa Maria is only 15mins away but at a lower altitude than Woodford and the seasons are not as pronounced. however, the growing season for vegetables is longer. The choughs and currawongs were in full song today.. and I will miss them too. I so hope that they come to live in the garden at Villa Maria.

Autumn Equinox was an unusually hot day.. a walk through my garden and not a sign of leaves changing colour.. but vegies and fruit nearly ready for harvest

I have two tamarillo trees. Marion my friend grows them from cuttings. I love the fruit. I love going into the garden and picking one. cutting it in half and scooping out the flesh they are also known as tree tomatoes. they are delicious!!.. and when i settle in to Villa Maria, Marion has promised me that she will visit and bring some new plants for my garden.

an heirloom pumpkin ~ potimarron. I bought the seeds from the Diggers Club in Victoria. this is a French pumpkin and I cannot wait til it is ready to pick. I wonder what it tastes like?

and chives. never fail to produce...always available year round to flavour my dishes.

I hope that you had a wonderful Equinox wherever you are. did you notice seasonal changes where you live?

come sit awhile with me

2010-03-20T22:09:00.000+11:00

today I felt a little fragile... like I was here, but not really here. so instead of a post I thought I would invite you to come sit awhile...

a statue of Irene tucked into a corner with a solitary black iron chair. a nice place to sit and ponder.

a spot in the autumn sunshinea beautiful white iron seat. this will be perfect for Villa Maria, with some vintage cushions and a jug of lemon & mint water..

a favourite spot in the shade. I sit here often with dutch husband, having cups of tea and chatting.

[I am slowly, slowy getting around to visiting blogs. Funnily enough I am at a real sense of peace now. I am embracing what is happening to me, whatever the results are. I know that I am surrounded by angels. thankyou for being my friend xo]

a special day

2010-03-19T20:53:00.000+11:00

today was dutch husband's and my 22nd wedding anniversary. no fanfare today but we will go our for breakfast on Sunday.. and when we move into Villa Maria, he is going to make me a Marian wayside shrine as a gift of our time together.. he is a carpenter.. much like the other St. Joseph. and a righteous man, much like the other St. Joe. he makes the best boiled eggs & toast.

so where did we meet?
I will tell you... at Parents without partners.. yes true! I had split up from my ex husband and my best girlfriend invited me along to a dance.. dutch husband had been single for a few years and one of his friends told him about a girl who was perfect for him.. so he came along to the same dance a few weeks later. that girl was me. he walked into the room, I spotted him and said to myself 'i am going to marry him oneday'.. he asked me to dance and we never parted.

we are one. I know our souls were one sometime in the past.. then that soul divided into two and went separate ways... completing soul journeys over many lifetimes and now we are together again. It feels right, you know. just feels so right. I cannot imagine life without him. I feel like part of me is missing when he is gone. he is just such a lovely, lovely man and yes, I am a lucky, lucky girl.

today is the Feast of St.Joseph. the patron Saint of selling homes. I will go to Sanctus, buy myself a medal and hang it by our door. I will ask St.Joseph to help us with a quick sale. I will ask him find the people who are next in line to living in this gorgeous old home.

today is my mothers birthday ~ she turns 74 . We hope that she will be moving up here to the mountains to live soon. this year hopefully.

today is the anniversary of me finding out I had cancer. 9 yrs ago. that is the past. this is now. and I celebrate it!

a quick post then off to bed

2010-03-18T20:52:00.002+11:00

I'm home. tired and sore.
the hook needle biopsy did not hurt one little bit. I didn't feel a thing. I am sure, make that positive, that the prayers, the angels, the love and good thoughts all put a protective aura around me.
the operation went well ...[although I will say that when the needle for the drip was going into my hand, the anaesthetist missed my vein and went right through it. he said 'oops I think I went right through the vein, bet you didn't want to hear that'.. so he had to insert the drip needle into my arm]
and the results will be ready next Friday. so we wait. but I not in the least worried

I came home today to hacked trees on my footpath. the council workers decided to prune the trees along the street. they are not arborists or tree surgeons so you can imagine what it looks like. these are my flowering cherries and my Manchurian pear.. not happy at all about that. I think I will light some candles for them tomorrow.

photo shoots

2010-03-17T21:01:00.000+11:00

today we had a professional photographer come to Inglewood to do the photo shoot for the advertising of the sale of our home..

I think he thought I was a little odd when I started to take photos of him taking photos...

my life kind of follows a pattern... 10 yrs ago, I had a photo shoot in my home here, for a home magazine, the next day I had my hysterectomy to remove cancerous cells..
tomorrow, I am booked in at 10am to insert the hook needle then 10.30 to have the operation.

I am praying, that all of this will be succesful and the Drs manage to get a good tissue sample. .

I am praying hard that this pattern does not continue. I pray that this time, it is all benign.

I will come home tomorrow night and let you know how I am. then I will go to bed and on the weekend, I am going to sit and come visit your blogs ~ thankyou, thankyou so much for all the love, care and support over the past weeks.

oops

2010-03-17T06:45:00.002+11:00

silly me forgot to open the blog to readers... here is a new link Villa Maria

and a Happy St. Patricks day!

filling my life with chatter

2010-03-16T21:59:00.005+11:00

[this post is a babbling post.. kind of a nervous chattery post.. filling my life with chatter to try to ignore what is coming for me on Thursday]
last night, having just got into bed, my eyes rested on the blue butterflies [the ones daisy sent me], hanging above my bed. I wondered if I should take them to my new home.. or leave them here... my mind continued to wander along a path to Daisy herself and dying & my mind continued to wander to actually finally meeting Daisy when I die.. and wondering what it would be like.. would she be like I had imagined her to be? even in spirit?...my mind wandered to my great grandmother and her mother.. will they be there with me on Thursday? will they all gather around the operating table? [yes, my mind goes some very odd places sometimes].
dutch husband must have seen the blank look on my face [you know the look that you get when you are day-dreaming.. that far away look?] ..because he asked what was wrong.
and I said
"you know, I am not scared of dying [of course I don't want to die yet, though!].. it will be like exchanging one set of loved ones for another"
'don't talk like that babe' he said [he doesn't like it when I talk of dying. I think it scares him]

but that is what I think death is.. leaving behind loved ones on earth to meet up with loved ones you have lost and loved ones you have never met. what fun to meet up with my great grandmothers and beyond!... this may all sound very morbid.. but that is where my mind takes me sometimes.

I am not scared of dying. I am scared of pain. like the pain of the biopsy needle on Thursday, when I am awake. that scares the living daylights out of me but of course, once I am there, it will all just happen as things tend to do. and I will go into my own little world to escape like I did when I had all my other treatments..

now to choosing the new name for our new home
why not choose Inglewood again?..
I wish to have a fresh start . .. we have had a fantastic 10yrs here but it was renovated and built around our family. alot has changed.. and all I must take are my memories. it will be forever in my heart. I will have cuttings and bulbs of plants to remember Inglewood by.. and like i said, I will have my memories.. like Joe says 'this is a new chapter' . another home could never be Inglewood.

I love the new name:Villa Maria.

and have decided to also open a new blog when we move into our new home..
I have created it [and am still in the process of] and thought you might like a sneak preview.. no posts yet though!
stories of Villa Maria

the name rolls of my tongue....

2010-03-15T21:12:00.001+11:00

I have chosen a name for our new home and it is not even one that was on the list..

the story goes like this. Joe & I went for a walk on Sunday afternoon, after dinner. We drove to Leura and parked the car and walked along some streets.. taking a little detour up a back street to get to a very big hill that would test our stamina... walking along chatting & I was telling him that the name just had to have some kind of spiritual connection.. I mentioned maybe calling it Mary's House.. but we both agreed that sounded a little odd... I tossed out names like Fatima, Lourdes and the ever popular Lisieux.. but they were not right.. it was like the name was on the tip of my tongue

walking along past some old mountains cottages, enjoying the changing leaf colours and the currawongs in the trees.

i had an urge to look into a garden at a house and the first thing I saw was the name:

Villa Maria.

'that's it!' I cried out, asking dutch husband what he thought of the name Villa Maria and thinking to my self, how perfectly perfect it was. he of course would be happy with whatever name I chose. he is just like that.

so the name will be Villa Maria.
and Joe will build me a wayside shrine for just near the gate to put my new Fatima statue in.. and then I can place flowers in it every day and maybe even burn candles at night.
..........................
we don't know when we are moving. we have to sell Inglewood first. But we do get the key to our new home at the end of April and we can start doing things to it in the meantime.
I pray for a quick easy sale. but i keep 'hearing' the words 'divine time'.. each and every time I gallop into future thoughts. it will sell at the right time, to the right people. I will continue to nurture the garden until my time is done here.

[please bare with me if I don't visit much this week. I have my hook needle biopsy on Thursday and I am a little scared about it [like worried about it hurting, what a baby!].. so my mind is not functioning that well .. I will come visit blogs as I can xo]

the other St. Joe

2010-03-14T21:22:00.002+11:00

no, not this St. Joe the other one.. the one who helps to sell your home [see dutch husbands curly hair? that is natural]

yes, St. Joseph. Marys husband.. patron saint of carpenters. My Joe is a carpenter. funny that. and even more co-incidental is that the Feast Day of St. Joseph is on March 19 - dutch husbands and my anniversary. apparently you can call on St. Joseph to help with the selling of your home.
I think i must find a statue or similar of St.Joseph, bury it in my garden [they say bury the statue head first.. not sure about that]..and pray for a quick and easy sale of Inglewood.. I am ready to move, but I am trying to hold the horses of my thoughts and not let them gallop away...otherwise I end up living in no mans land of time that hasn't yet happened.

today we had a journalist come to our home to walk through it with us and gather information to write a story for the sale of our home.
as we walked through with her, memories came flooding back.. all the hard work and love we have put into Inglewood... but I felt good about leaving 'our Inglewood'... I felt like she is ready to let us go and willing to invite another lucky family into her folds and make them love Earth like she has helped me... yes, being in this garden has helped me find my true connection to the soil...

and another treasure from Inglewood:

this time, I am giving away some linen. not antique but certainly vintage. there is an apron from the 1950's, a tea cloth, a tablecloth. both pink. and an old crocheted jug cover which is a quite stained but clean. I think it has a swan pattern crocheted in.. and a real treasure with original glass beads.. let me know in a comment if you would like to own it and I will put you in the draw. like I said, these treasures are worth not much, but they are treasures nonetheless

I think I have a name for our new home. yes!.. more about that tomorrow.... and I think a new blog when we eventually move...

all about dutch husband

2010-03-13T22:48:00.002+11:00

I guess you know dutch husband has a name. a real name, I mean. I just started to call him dutch husband when I read Corey calling her husband in France 'french husband'. I thought it was sweet.. his real name on his birth certificate is like something out of royalty.. Joseph Henri Michael Gerardus.. I call him Joe.

he came to Australia when he was about 5 for the simple reason as he tells it.. 'that one day he woke up, his parents told him that they were moving to Australia and he thought he may as well tag along, he had nothing else to do'. he left behind his little snow sled that hung under the stairs and a life that would have taken another path... and he sailed to Australia with his parents and 3 siblings and one on the way.

he also has another name. a nickname...his bike riding friends call him Yoda.. and that is where this story is leading.

Joe [also known as dutch husband] loves Star Wars. I could not count on everyones fingers how many times he has watched the trilogy, and beyond. He is also very wise. truly, he knows just about everything and his advice is always, always spot on.... so he became known as Yoda.. a wise Jedi out of the Empire Strikes Back..
he is such a fan that he has a tattoo.. not just a token scribble like mine but a real half an arm of ink. 12 hours under the needle. a work of art.

[the winner of the little childs jug and saucer is Tracy! another one coming soon.]

so tell me.. just how do you pronounce Lisieux?

2010-03-12T21:55:00.002+11:00

not speaking French, I have no idea how to pronounce the word Lisieux.. some say Liss-yer.. others say Liss-you...

here are some pronunciations from the net:
Lee-see-e(The last "e" is pronounced like the "e" in the french alphabet);
Lisieux is a tricky word to pronounce, but the easiest way to describe it's pronunciation is leez-yeu;
Lee- zoh;
Liz-YEW.

I thought it was Liss-i-yer...anyhow, I think I am confusing the issue..

Lisieux, is the name i am leaning towards because the other morning whilst cleaning my teeth.. that name popped into my head.. and I 'saw' a name plate in a mosaic pattern on a wall... but it is still not final. I need a sign from God. But I still need to know how to pronounce it.

we had another inspection of our new home today and I am more in love with it than I was the first time..it has such a good feel and the garden is divine. I have inherited Rhododendrons & Gordonia.. a magnolia and 2 oranges, a lemon and a mandarin. How much like Inglewood this garden is!...
while I wandered around the yard, I took some photos..

this is a view of the front of the house.. there is a lavender hedge growing along one part of the wall. It needs a good haircut and hopefully it will live.. but if not, I will replace it. Lavender does tend to get leggy as it gets older. on the right where the grass is.. we are going to fence and make a courtyard for privacy.

these sandstone steps go from the driveway up to where the courtyard will be and to the front door. I think they are just gorgeous. I cannot wait til I am walking these daily!

on the left of those gorgeous stairs is this beautiful light.. I love it.. my, I cannot wait til we move! dutch husband is as excited as I am

to the back yard....
this is a view of the top level of the backyard. it is terraced because the block is sloping. behind our new home is classified 'bush reserve' with a turpentine tree forest.. which is a protected species apparently. not sure why as these trees have a tendency to explode if there is a bush fire.. but the reserve is beautiful. Our own new backyard has an angophora in it, perfect for shade. on the grass area is where my vegie garden will go. there are some gorgeous plants and shrubs in the garden and some not so nice.. but it won't take me long before I weave my magick over it... and I know there are already nature divas & faeries there.. I saw one through the lens of my camera..

and if you look closely you can see an orb in this photo.. this is a view of the second terraced area..

so, what do you think of 'our house with no name'? beautiful, don't you think?

[and thankyou to each of you for continually commenting on my blog.. I really do appreciate it xo]

collecting, packing, giving away & an assortment of names

2010-03-11T20:52:00.001+11:00

I am a collector. of stuff. i have a passion for collecting bits of anything really. over the years, I have collected wooden spoons, rolling pins, mixing bowls. I have gathered bits from op-shops, flea markets, antique shops and even bought things over seas on my travels. I have been known to collect sugar bowls, buttons, baskets. And of course religious relics & icons. And now i have to pack them all up.. and move house.. a smaller house in fact and this is wherein the problem lies.
I have too much stuff. and I want most of it to go to other people who will love it just like I do.
for this reason I have given away sea grass chairs & french wire potato baskets instead of selling them. Because I can choose the owner.. I can tell if someone will cherish the bits just like I have..

to mark the packing and moving from Inglewood, over the next weeks, I have decided to give little bits away here, to my blogging friends. to celebrate these 10 yrs living here at Inglewood and also the journey of Inglewood via the blog..
I have so many vintage treasures that I would love to share. I have vintage aprons, tea cloths, a jar of buttons.. and other such stuff.. all junk to most.. but each a treasure to me.. and I hope to you also!

so keep your eyes open!

the first one is a cute little vintage jug and saucer from a childs old tea set. it is only a tiny 4 inches high. let me know if you would like to have a chance at owning it.

then to the names for our new home: there are a few so far that have come to mind.. but still nothing solid.. here are the first few in my notebook:

SANCTUAIRE - French for sanctuary ~ which I hope to create in the new home & garden

LISIEUX - the birth place of St.Therese (she is my Saint of choic and the one who is with me always)

LA PETITE FLEUR - French for the little flower ~ St Therese was also known as the little flower.. and I hope to have many of them in my garden.

what do you think of these names?

the birds ~ oh, the birds

2010-03-10T22:08:00.002+11:00

dusting my lounge room today, I became aware of birds, outside, calling

the choughs are back at Inglewood. when I hear them for the very first time each year.. I know that autumn is here..
the sound of them calling, tugged at my heart strings ~ making me wish in a way that I could stay here in Woodford.. but I do know that it is time to move on, there are no regrets on our decision ~ but yes, bittersweet thoughts.

... when we purchased this gorgeous property 10yrs ago, there was hardly any bird life in my garden. the previous owners had cats. and of course, birds and cats do not exist very well together. there were no lizards either..
but with me tending this gorgeous plot of earth .. the birds came back in abundance and lizards ~ you have never seen so many. my garden here at Inglewood is healthy. I have the lizards and the birds as well as an abundance of butterflies. Frogs and Dragonflies are making their presence known now as well. and of course I have the blackbird.. my Daisy connection.
with the purchase of the 'house with no name', I have inherited a wilderness in the back yard.. & I fervently hope that I can encourage the birds & lizards and all their friends to make my new home, theirs as well.... I even asked the blackbird yesterday.. [as she dug for beetles in my garden].. if she would come visit my new home.. she looked at me.. sat for awhile and flew off... maybe she has gone to investigate

[this afternoon, dutch husband & I went for a walk in our new neighbour hood... it felt like home.]

one hundred angels

2010-03-09T21:26:00.002+11:00

today we signed the contracts to our new home.. today, I had lunch with dutch husband. today I wore my tee shirt back to front with out realizing it.

Today I stocked up on herbal teas to make infusions ~ oatstraw, red clover, nettle, lemon balm and sage.. hopefully one of them will work. today I burned lavender oil because apparently it is good for the dizziness that goes hand in hand with menopause. hard as it is I am actually enjoying this challenge of menopause.. it is like I am getting to know myself all over again.

now. what to name this new home? ... to tell the truth, I did have a name picked out for the other home.. and following below is that story..[this was written a week ago when we were buying the other house.. ]

[an Angel in the shape of my Nan ~ an altered photo of her 'by Moi' when she was a little girl]
At first it was going to be named BRAMOSOLE.. from one of my favourite books – 'Under the Tuscan Sun'
but as I was re reading the book, a new name came to my attention Cento Angelis – which means 100 Angels..

[a pottery Angel that I bought at some art markets in Sydney, hanging from some pink vintage ribbon]

I told dutch husband that I needed a sign from God. The day that our offer was accepted, a package arrived in the mail.. and it was my Lady of Fatima statue that I had ordered weeks ago.

[St Rita, I believe.. with an Angel.. one of my many vintage catholic icons]

early the next morning I was chatting to dutch husband about the sign from god, and we got talking about when we had moved into this house, Inglewood. It was the month of May, the month of Mary. And coincidentally we will be settling on our new home in the same month – May, the month of Mary. And Mary is accompanied by angels, I believe..

so that is my sign. Our new home is to be called Cento Angelis...

[an angel hanging over one of the many doors at Inglewood, showering blessings on all who enter or leave]

and of course as synchronicity has a way of working.. there was a comment on my facebook to cinch the deal, which in part said 'Creator has placed so many angels around you....'

but like I said, this Cento Angelis was not meant to be.. it does not suit this home we have actually bought.. I am wondering if the Cento Angelis that I read was actually a sign from God that I have 100 Angels surrounding me in the guise of my blogging friends.. all praying and thinking of me? I do believe that is so.

so what to call this new home? I have an idea but need a sign.
[and then of course, there is the matter of the blog.. do I start a new one for the new chapter I am about to walk.. or change the name here? [what do you think?]...so many decisions!]

a house with our name on it..

2010-03-08T21:15:00.009+11:00

a good aussie red
today we bought a house. yes, I know I said it last week, but this time it is for real.. we will pay our deposit tomorrow and in about 8 weeks, it will be ours. people will think I am crazy when they see what I have swapped Inglewood for.... but this house truly grabbed my heart when I walked through the door. ..

[a toast to our new home]
tonight dutch husband and I thought it was appropriate to celebrate.. so pizza and wine for dinner!

and a sneak preview at the new home that will be ours

it has a good backbone of a garden, quite a few citrus trees, hydrangeas and room for my chickens. there is alot of work to be done both inside and outside.. but we both love a challenge & are looking forward to breathing new life into this place... and the name... yes, I think I have one but will tell later ~

[today: drinking lots of nettle & fennel tea, learning to feel the nightsweats up through my chakras and blowing them out, panting, as if I am in labour.. this menopause is hard work! and being positive that my body is 100% healthy.]

my day ~ emotions of a runaway train

2010-03-07T21:15:00.001+11:00

[ a simple dinner of boiled eggs with toast fingers.. eaten in front of the TV with a rug over my knee... finished off my day perfectly... ]

two weeks ago, the Drs took me off HRT. cold turkey. and the past few days I have noticed it. night sweats like you would not believe....today, I cried, I grieved, I even wished i was dead at one stage [yes, the emotions runaway with you sometimes].. I screamed at dutch husband like I was a banshee, it is a wonder he is still here. I emailed friends, reaching out through the net ..... then I started to read Susun Weeds 'Menopausal years' ~ I read, and I read and I jotted down notes of how I can take my own health into my own hands. I noted down various teas that I can drink to help me through. I begged God to take this burden from my spirit.. . I made myself a cup of nettle tea, downloaded a yoga CD from iTunes and organized a space to do yoga. I washed the dishes, had Tuscan bean soup with spelt bread for lunch.

centering prayer, soft music and a lovely nap in the afternoon while rain fell gently on our tin roof. that was my day.
[this instant menopause is not fun]

a trip down memory lane.. through my garden

2010-03-06T21:47:00.002+11:00

[well, it seems I was too hasty in saying that we had bought a house. we have been negotiating for over two weeks and we had offered a very good price for the house, the vendor has accepted it but is not ready to sign until he finds a house to move into & has left us wondering what we are to do now.. wait or walk away from that house?

I hate the fact that I am in this limbo state right now with all that is going on. I know that we will be moving from Inglewood in the near future.. just not sure where. I know that the perfect home is out there waiting for us at the right time. perfect divine planning. I just have to keep telling myself that.

I am sad at this turn of events, because truthfully, i had my heart set on that house, I had moved in.. and my soul has left here where I am now. You know what I mean? but something keeps telling me it will all work out for the best.. so the name that i had chosen will remain with me until the house comes along.]

anyhow,

I thought that it might be nice to go back in time.. so if you have time over the weekend.. grab a cup of tea and sit and look at my beautiful garden between 2007 and 2009... it is always nice to reminisce, don't you think?

to everything there is a time and a purpose

2010-03-05T22:11:00.003+11:00

my appointment today with the breast specialist ~ I am now booked to have a hook biopsy done on the 18th March [the day before dutch husband & my anniversary] ~ then it will be another week until I find out the results.

no use pretending that i am ok about all of this, because I am not. I am damn scared. I try so very hard to be positive but there is this little voice inside me that keeps wondering 'what if'... I am going through a gammut of emotions. crying, sobbing at times. then I realise that I have not been told I have cancer.. then the voice says 'yet'... then I remember that the odds of it being cancer are slim, then the 'what-ifs'. then I am off again, crying. then I calm down. I am scared.

there is a lesson to be learned here for me somewhere... I know it. I know that i must slow down, I must take time to do some yoga everyday, to walk more, to sit with spirit more. i must make time for all of this. I simply must.

many of you who read here are healers and I ask for healing to be sent to me.. many pray.. prayers said for me too ! anything that you do for me please let me know in a comment as I am going to print them out and carry them with me in a pouch.. so I am surrounded constantly by your energies of healing.
but oh how I just wish that you, my blogging buddies were here with me at Inglewood, to hug me.

a story with pictures

2010-03-04T20:49:00.001+11:00

When I first met dutch husband he was half way through building a house.

[the home above, was built by dutch husband. he did all the carpentry work, inside and out]
When we married, we moved into the house, settled in, started a garden and I decided it needed a name. Dutch husbands favourite movie (or one of them) was Casablanca, so I chose that as a name, even though the house was not white [eventually we did paint the house white, with blue trim so that it could live up to its name]
Then we moved after about 8 yrs there ~ during those 8 years, our darling daughter was born ~ Sophie ~ [who you can see in the above photo. I think she is eating a banana] ~ these were some of the best years of my life
we moved from acres of land to a cul-de-sac and built our dream home (or so we thought)

a bagged Georgian style mansion.[sorry about the quality of photo above, it is scanned]
Complete with every single thing that one girl could need in this modern world. And I hated it. I knew from the time I slept there the very first night, that it was not my home ~ it was just a house.. being new, to me it had no soul.. we stayed there a year to the day of moving in [i later found out that i the land had been an aboriginal site of some kind, which could explain the odd energies that i often felt]

[in the photo above, you can get the gist of what the home was like. ~ lots of cottage flowers, lots of collectables. we just did not fit into the area with our eccentric tastes]

Oneday dutch husband was looking for an old home to buy and renovate to sell and he took me to see this little ramshackle cottage…run down, flea and cat infested house. An over grown garden with a backbone of established trees. And I fell in love. The ancient apple tree in the backyard, clinched it for me…

and so began Inglewood.
[I do have some photos of the house when we first bought it.. but cannot find them at the moment, I am sure they will be discovered while I am packing - oh my lord! packing, I didn't think of that!!]

I do believe my job is done here at Inglewood.. I came and tended the garden, bringing magick into it, welcoming the nature divas back, creating a haven for those elementals, for the butterflies, the lizards, birds and dragonflies. I have planted a healing disc under the old pine tree and gridded the property with crystal energies.. and now it is time to move on. To create another haven at my new home.
what an adventure! the name? I do have one chosen but that is a story maybe for tomorrow!!

a little bit of news.

2010-03-03T21:40:00.000+11:00

today dutch husband & I bought a house. a house that will become our home. our new home. we have been looking at the house for a few weeks and finally our offer was accepted. so now begins the severing of ties with this gorgeous house known as Inglewood, that has been our home for just on 10 years. a bittersweet time for me. some ask how we can leave this beautiful home.. Inglewood is a family home.. we are empty nesters.. Sophie only stays a couple of nights a week.. so we wish to find a smaller home for us. It will be difficult and yes sad, to walk away but I am really excited and happy to have found this gorgeous new house that I will make into our home.. there is a lovely big yard, with advanced trees, room for my chickens and a vegie garden. there is a little bit of work to be done to get it how we want it but that is part of the fun.
it is only about 7 houses up from the Catholic church in Springwood, which means I can walk to mass if I so desire. and up the other way is the golf course.. a short walk for dutch husband. yes, it is time to go..

I have a few ideas for a name for this new home.. but I will tell that another day.
any suggestions?

[update on my breasts: the Dr called today, most upset at what had happened and I am to see him this Friday when he will schedule me for surgery to do a biopsy.. then we will go from there..]

you, me and the kitchen sink

2010-03-02T21:22:00.009+11:00

[next to my kitchen sink: ..a small posy of lemon verbena and thai basil in an old cream jar. an old crucifix (bits missing), my olive oil soap and some dried lavender. all little things that I love.]

what is beside your kitchen sink?

and for dinner a home made pizza.. using basil, chives, welsh onions and capsicum all picked freshly from my garden

[oh and the winner of the pegs was Amelia.. Can you email me your postal details and I will get them out to you this week!]

wash away my fears [long drawn out saga]

2010-03-01T20:55:00.008+11:00

[a cake of french olive oil soap in a true antique french soap dish. one of my treasures]

what a day. nothing happened.

oh yes, I went to have the mammotome. what a fiasco that was.
I arrived half an hour early and was taken to a room where i had to put on a lovely pink hospital gown.. [you know, the ones with the ties that don't quite match up.. so I tied a lovely big bow around the gathered fabric looking quite chic]. and was told to sit and wait. so I got our my book, put my glasses on and proceeded to read. with the other ladies there, all dressed in a motley assortment of hospital gowns. some of the ladies had no hair. some didn't speak english. others had the look of fear that i am sure I had in my eyes too. I had decided that morning, that if this is my lot, then I am going to make it a joyful one. so I took my shoes off and sat with my feet up on a chair, reading. feeling very glamourous in the gown.
my name was called & I was taken in to have even more scans and then I was told that I was not booked in for the procedure. my name was there but I was only down for a review and a 2nd opinion. not the mammotome which I know that my Dr had told myself and dutch husband that I was to have today.
I complained about that, explaining that my Dr. Had specifically said I was to have a mammotome. then another nurse came in and took me to have even more scans and then told me the machine was broken down.
she suggested I go home, make another appointment to come back next week.
no. I thought to myself.. I am not coming back next week at all.
Of course, by this time I was emotional and burst into tears.
dutch husband drove us home, with me in pretty much shock... and when I arrived home I called the breast specialists office & spoke to his head breast care nurse who was going to talk to him about what happened and get back to me tomorrow.

this is just awful to have to go through, it is bringing all that happened with my previous cancer back.. same thing.. procedure, after procedure.. waiting, waiting and then my pre cancer/early stage cancer turns into an aggressive one. so now,
I am refusing to go back, sit in a freezing cold room to have a procedure, the mammotome, that 'might' get a sample of the calcifications. and if that does not work, then I am to have another biopsy.
tomorrow, I am going to tell the Dr that I want the biopsy done under anaesthetic. forget all the preliminary tests, which really just prolongs it all and adds to my anxiety..
so you see, I am still in the dark as to what it is.

[and there goes my ambition to write about my lovely life.. it is what it is today]

spending time with my girls

2010-02-28T21:19:00.001+11:00

dutch husband went off on a ride into the country side for the day..and I spent time with my girls

[and if you would like to see the girls in action..they are movie stars on youtube: my girls on youtube ]

I did try to take a photo of Pearl while she was laying an egg, but she flapped her wings and got most indignant about being on show, so I left her in peace.

I spent time giving my lavender a hair cut [i tend to be quite particular when pruning my lavender.. I do it stem, by stem. in a meditative way.. quietening my spirit as I do so. the lavender seems to thrive on this treatment, rewarding me often, with flower spikes aplenty] I also spent a few hours, feeding and mulching my apple trees in readiness for autumn. I love this time of year. it is most probably my favourite season... what is yours?

not much ado about anything

2010-02-27T21:34:00.004+11:00

[I wake to this view every morning ~ you can see the valley filled with mist]
a very quiet day for me [dutch husband had a flea market in our front yard.. selling off years of collectables, I stayed away from that.. I cannot stand the wheeling and dealing that goes on] .. I mostly spent time in the garden.. except for the one time, when I just sat and cried. not that I am being negative about all of this lump thing, no. it is more that the whole situation is overwhelming..

anyhow, I had good company while I gardened. a magpie kept me company most of the day. the poor thing has something wrong with one of its legs. it limps when it walks. however, that did not stop it from hopping quickly when I shared my muffin with it.

Dr. French.. I love the name..

2010-02-26T22:03:00.009+11:00

the first appointment over and done.
I have breast calcifications. a few very small spots.
On Monday afternoon, I am going to Westmead clinic to have a mammotone biopsy where they take samples of the calcifications to see if they are cancerous. [this will hurt.]
then we go from there. I now have my own breast cancer nurse who I can call if I have fears or questions. I have her mobile number. which actually does put my fears at rest to a certain extent.
I asked Dr. French if it is cancer. he cannot say yes or no until he gets the results back next week
FACT: 80% of calcifications ARE NOT cancer. I have a one in five chance of these lumps being cancerous. which are very good odds

[at the moment, I wish I could lose myself in this street scene somewhere in Paris.. much like Mary Poppins did in the chalk pavement drawings.]

FACT: I am still bloody scared. I am still trying desperately hard to stay in the present moment and stop my mind from galloping into the Land of Whatifs...
[thanks so, so much for your continuing prayers, thoughts, comments and constant support.. I need you all more than ever at the moment. you are all my very own angels!]

time worn hands

2010-02-25T20:47:00.003+11:00

this afternoon, I had a nap. then I sat and read Under the Tuscan sun, trying to get my mind of tomorrow's appointment with the breast specialist. being very much like an ostrich, putting my head into the sand, by escaping to Italy via the book...snuggling under a blanket, trying to take away the inner cold. yes, I am scared. as I read, my mind started to wander as it does tend to do.

[this is my hand, worn from working in my garden. worn just like the wedding ring that is on my hand. aged & worn from time and use. and I love it]

I looked down at my hands and noticed that i had old lady hands. you know, those crepey looking hands that old ladies develop with age. they have a certain translucence..it took me aback and at first I felt a little disappointed that my hands looked so old, [why is it that I don't hesitate to love and adore and even be passionate about old furniture and other such stuff, but I find it difficult to love and embrace my aging self?]
then remembered that these are the hands that lovingly tend my garden. they are workers hands. I noted to self that i must make the effort to massage more hand cream into them.. they reminded me of my nan. They reminded me that I come from a long line of strong, tough women. women who have faced all kinds of things during their lives and I am part of that.... I am still scared, but I know I am in the company of strong women. I will face whatever comes my way. with acceptance and love. it has been said, that it is all about love...every single thing, the good and the not so good, is all about love.

a wander up and down Katoomba st.

2010-02-24T21:55:00.000+11:00

what to write about today? nothing came to mind..
I had an appointment with my herbalist and had half an hour to kill, so I walked up & down the main street of Katoomba and snapped a few photos.. looking very much like the tourists that surrounded me.
Katoomba is a mecca for tourists.. they all travel from all over the world, to see the famous Three sisters at Echo Point, which i believe is one of the most sacred sites of the world.

I thought I might share a few photos from my wandering...

Katoomba street is full of coffee shops, cafes and other outside eateries. The Pomegranate is just one and they serve freshly squeezed orange juice which is to die for, really.

not Abbey Rd, no. just a pedestrian crossing at the top of Katoomba st.. looking onto an old building which now houses a junk shop

local artists paint murals on the brick side wall of many of the buildings.. this one is a reproduction of an old photo taken at Katoomba Falls in earlier days.

not quite a french flower market but these flowers caught my eye as I walked up the hill.

this is where we buy our wines usually. they have many fine wines from wine producing areas in NSW.

the bus stop outside the Carrington Hotel.. a famous landmark which you can see peeking out in the background.. Dutch husband and I love this place alot.. we even stay there every now and then. another time, i will take you there

many of the buildings that dot the street are Art Deco style.. slowly, slowly they are being restored

[just a few snapshots taken in one of my favourite towns, not far from Inglewood]

talking 'bout last night

2010-02-23T22:33:00.001+11:00

seeing AC/DC in concert.
I can now cross this off my bucket list. .something that i had wished for & my wish comes true... and the saying: 'be careful what you wish for' makes a whole lotta sense
as you can see I was in the mosh pit..
there is much that I could say to describe the whole experience but I won't. in fear of sounding ungrateful for seeing them.

and proof that I went to the concert.
once upon a time, I would have saved this memento. i would have tucked it into my memory box..
do you have any tokens from concerts in your youth? or mementos saved from past times?

voices of the angels.

2010-02-22T16:22:00.000+11:00

last night I dreamed of Angels. they told me I was going to live til I was 83. do the Angels ever speak to you?

[tonight I go to see AC/DC in Sydney..which is not quite the music of Angels]

we all dream, we all have wishes & everything has a story

2010-02-21T20:55:00.000+11:00

[these pegs are not originally from Inglewood, they have lived here for just on 10yrs. before that? I don't know. I bought a tin of them in a junk shop, long forgotten. do they carry the memory of where they have lived?]

I have a thing about old wooden clothes pegs. I also have a thing about wooden spoons. I love the feel of them against the skin of my hand, as I hold them I wonder about the woman who owned them, what were her passions, her loves, her wishes and her dreams. I feel a connection with a woman unknown and long gone from Earth.
these pegs are not elegant, but simple. is there such a thing as simply elegant? if so, that is exactly the words that I would use to describe the pegs.

do you have something similar that whisks you back to days gone by? something that you touch and you begin to wonder about its story?

[if you would like this collection of 6 simply elegant pegs from 'beyond' Inglewood.. all you have to do is tell me, here in a comment & I will pick a name from a hat [vintage of course!]. this is my way of paying forward all the lovely comments and support over the past week]

ordinary things that make life seem normal

2010-02-20T12:23:00.009+11:00

[every night after dinner, dutch husband makes me a cup of tea. a ritual that has happened for over 20yrs.]
you know how sometimes, just one thing stands out from an ordinary day? a fleeting moment when time stands still.. and you are in a frozen vacuum? it happened like this:
last night, I got into bed, pulling up the quilt up to my chin, [to snuggle like when I was a child, the quilt protecting me from whatever monster I was afraid of at that moment]... the breeze of that action made the butterfly string over my bed, to flutter.. reminding me of Daisy. those butterflies were telling me that everything is going to be ok.. I lay for ages, mesmerized, just watching them move until they came slowly to stop, then turned over and cuddled into Dutch husband. the warmth of his body wrapping me into a safe and protected cocoon.

not good news week..

2010-02-19T15:46:00.005+11:00

today I received a phone call from my Dr. I have a suspicious lump. the C letter has marked me again. to tell the truth I am in shock and numb. Next week I have an appt with a top breast specialist connected to the Breast Cancer institute of NSW to see what treatment I will need to have. They have not said it is cancer but they have suggested it could be. like I said I am in total shock and I am scared. what does one do when this happens again? how do I stop my mind from galloping away? trying to think positive but all I want to do right now is lie on Earth and cry my heart out. please, please hold my hand. be there for me.

the sacred in my simple day..today

2010-02-18T21:02:00.001+11:00

this morning when i woke up, the sun was struggling to come through the clouds.. kind of mirroring how I was feeling. a little apprehensive with the events of the coming day.

gardenias picked from my garden. I have quite a few bushes in my little courtyard and the whole garden is perfumed by them at this time of year...

I started to wash up, trying to still the fear inside. trying to stay in the moment and not gallop into the Land of Whatifs..... then the text messages started to come on my phone

'hope the tests go good today, I will be thinking of you' ~ Caine
' mum, I love you!' Louisa
'good luck today' ~ Sophie

then Joe arrived home with a loaf of organic spelt and made me a simple egg sandwich for lunch.
in my world here at Inglewood, I am surrounded by angels. angels in the shape of my children... that is all one can ask for, is it not? [and dutch husband of course, but we all know he is my absolute guardian angel]

today I had tests done on the breast lump and it was not found! after a harrowing 40mins or so of the nurse going in and out with my scans.. Dr requiring even more.. me nearly on my knees in the room praying while I waited. topless. nurse coming back in.. 'we need another, there is a lump we want to take a closer look at just in case' [just incase? I thought to myself at this stage]... by this time my blood pressure must have been rising.. and the 'oh you have had a lump before.. and cancer too? - well with that history we must make sure that there is nothing sinister going on' [going on? thought to myself.. what the hell does that mean?]
after 4 scans, they finally got what they needed.. I still don't have all results back yet, but no biopsy had to be done so that is a good thing. .

thankyou for all your comments and emails.. it really does help to know that I am surrounded by angels on the internet too.

give it up for lent

2010-02-17T20:44:00.004+11:00

I truly don't like having my photo taken. I do all manner of things to avoid it.
as the Lenten season begins, I start to wonder about giving something up for lent. I don't quite understand the whole concept of it but I feel drawn to participate in this tradition.

so what must I give up? [and please bare with me as I waffle on..you will see where i am going with this]

I was thinking coffee but I only have one a day.. and not chocolate ~ heaven forbid that! not alcohol or smoking because I do neither..so what to give up for lent? I sat in silence and as my mind started to wander as it does.. I kept thinking of how I am aging, how my nose is too bulbous. my tuckshop arms and my jowls that sag more and more each day. [yes, I am hard on myself]

note the turkey neck.. and the double chin & the nose, oh the nose.

I don't like my double chin or my wrinkles that are developing as I get older .. I sat, with my thoughts, criticising myself.
And then. the thought.. give up criticizing myself. that's it. for the whole time of this Lenten season I am going to stop criticizing myself . and not just for Lent.. I am going to stop this constant criticizing of self..
[yes, I am very critical of myself & I sound vain, which truly I am not]

I constantly pull funny faces when the camera points at me
so the deal is ~ I am going to fall in love with every single wrinkle, sagging jowls, turkey neck and double chins. even the hair that has started to sprout from that chin. fall in love with the lot. accept myself as perfect just the way I am. love every single cell, every single wrinkle.
and I am going to honour this body.. by eating well. eating even better than I do now. and I am going to limit chocolate, just limit it mind you.. because I am a woman of a certain age.. the words 'high cholesterol' loom on the horizon.. Dear God, you have given me jowls, turkey neck and bulbous nose and now you give me high cholesterol?.. don't you think that is a bit much for one girl to bear?

[& thank YOU for the continuing comments.. I am a little behind in visiting blogs.. the lump and blood results are playing on my mind]